There I was reflecting on life's injustices, if you can call it that just to situate my thoughts, when my on again, off again man friend that I sometimes like told me that I cannot be trusted. To quote him "all you women can't be fucking trusted" simply because I told him to stay out of my business when I found out he intended to hassle a man who owed me money.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. ~Dr. Seuss
This fella is brutal in words and bristles with violence when he drinks and that is not my way of handling conflict because approaches like that only aggravate the situation.
I was nonplussed and felt hurt really, like a punch to the chest because the underlying message was about his insecurity as a 49-year old male in a relationship in which he feels inadequate. We got the platonic thing going on and he's a very virile male.
So as I mulled over my life and my connection to this man I went from hurt to anger and decided to cut him off and go cold turkey. He has helped me a lot, has taught me about this Trinidad and Tobago which is a new country to me and he gives me a bill or two every so often to enable me to buy necessities. One hand washes the other and that's fine. Then I went to bed.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Bernard M. Baruch
It was on waking the words
Olympics of life came to mind. It was linked to a dream just ended when someone held up a Russian newspaper with a blaring headline (which I understood) and photos of the games in progress and participants and spectators.
So fascinating!
That was my message from the ether, the universal mind - as all dreams are - that my life and how I live it make me a world class athlete and I/we have to, like all great sportsmen and sportswomen stay focused with absolute commitment and do our best to make the grade into that elite group of Olympians.
Eat right, sleep well, practice, practice, practice, focus on winning to be able to make the grade and be selected into the most elite club to perform in front of the world. That's what we non-sporting types do as well. Life is like that and once we're there as I am and no doubt you are as well, we gotta just do it.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I live in a shelter for homeless people and I've been wondering lately what have I achieved, if anything in this life of 54 years here since living here for 18 months and still jobless.
I suppose when you go from where I was living a very good life, secure in yourself working and seeing the world, putting up with the usual shite, you have money and don't feel the need to focus on it, when exploring the spiritual side of life is your passion and seeing the world is really all that interests you, you have a handful of really good friends, you meaning me, don't ever contemplate that you would lose your financial wherewithal to end up homeless.
Thankfully, I don't relate to that German billionaire who a few years ago lost 3 or was it 4 of his 7 billion dollars and committed suicide because he defined himself by his money. Mine was just a few million and thank you again Bernie Madoff.
Comfort matters to me and beauty is essential to my well-being. You wouldn't think that beauty can be found in a homeless shelter with former street people, drug addicts, prostitutes, mental outpatients and the dispossessed like myself, would you.
But I have been pleasantly surprised by the stunning sunsets from our third floor balcony to the sometimes caring gestures from some of the most brutal men and women I never considered ever speaking to.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. ~Oscar Wilde
The message from the ether about the Olympics of life takes on a special significance previously unthought of.
When you're at the peak of your game which is what life is really, the dance of life, and
I don't feel that I am but I must be eh, you have to perform in your chosen field and everybody's watching not to hinder but to cheer you on.
At the Olympics games, people willingly pay to see the best and that is who you are in the Olympics of life. You might feel low at times like oh what's the use when what you try doesn't bring the results expected but hear what, doing your best is what you do even then it doesn't appear to make the grade.
Performing any less than your best would not have brought you to peak conditioning to face the challenges life throws at you with the guts, grit and determination that is intrinsic in your makeup.
Always keep in mind that every situation you encounter is meant to teach you something - that was the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn - and when you "get it" you naturally move on because you have stopped re-acting, stopped resisting what is, accepted your role in the game and took the necessary intuitive action.
You are all you have and right now is all you've got. You are in it to win it, whatever that may be. Start now and cross those hurdles effortlessly in the Olympics of life!
Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" --- and find that there is no death. ~Eckhart Tolle
Affirmative in your approach to life today, you may be feeling especially optimistic regarding your aspirations. As you walk toward the world of your dreams, you may be filled with positive feelings that keep your attitude upbeat despite appearances. Staying positive when things don't seem to be going the way you'd like is important for keeping the momentum going toward the creation of our goals.
