3 Turnaround Techniques to Empower You to Control The Outcome in Every Sphere of Your Life

Image by bslmmrs 

I just discovered turnaround techniques from Eli Davidson's article Joan and Melissa demonstrate how to live with difficult people.

Turnaround techniques is a powerful way to empower yourself to control the outcome in every sphere of your life.

Pay yourself to pay attention works for me so I am sure it will for you as well. The objective is to get you out of your head and focussed on the present.

When I started listing my mental criticisms I was shocked at how frequently I busted people's arses during the day! I had to change that immediately.

Gradually, over time, the number of mental comments (judging) began decreasing which made me feel good. I still have my off days but I am doing good.

Eli describes the Turnaround Technique™ this way: The way to get the most value from it is to do it with some gusto. Give it a full-tilt whirl. You can analyze the heck out of it later. Now, you may feel silly, but that's okay.

If I were in the room with you, I'd encourage you to go full out anyway. In fact, I'd go full out with you. I'm happy to act like a mega goofball if it will help you let go of a little funk.

So, what is that thing that's bugging you? Go for your El Numero Uno stressor. Has work gobbled up your life? Are you caring for aging parents? Did your boyfriend just announce that a friend of yours is pregnant . . . with his baby? Whatever your stressor is: See it. Hear the words about it. Feel how lousy it makes you feel. Got it? 

That was just a taste. Read Eli's complete article on the Turnaround Technique. It contains simple instructions on how to practise this technique.

Now, for the three issues / turnaround techniques from Eli Davidson's Joan and Melissa Rivers article.

"It's Not About You" Turnaround Technique

Take some deep breaths. Stand up. Walk around. This will help you shake off your reaction. Say the word FUNKY five times to vent, and FABULOUS five times. (Sure, it sounds crazy, but this NLP pattern interrupt will help you keep your equilibrium.)

Using this strategy, you disconnect from your reaction and put yourself in the other person's shoes. As I saw with Joan and Melissa, the person that behaved badly will often apologize later.

"Everyone Has Boundaries" Turnaround Technique

     Image by Geoff S. If you are irritated by another person, tough as it is, remember that they are doing you a favor. 

They are giving you a road map to show you where your insecurities are hiding. You can use that as a guide to what skill to build.

Here is your GPS: Every word of complaining about them is you critiquing yourself.

It's easier to give everyone more leeway when you remember, "If you see it...You be it".

"Pay Yourself To Pay Attention" Turnaround Technique

Pay Yourself To Pay Attention. Give yourself a point every time you have a negative thought or positive thought. (You can use post-its if you want to write it down.) Watch how fast you are able to have a new way of relating.

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Allowing And Receiving Is A Direct Path To Abundance: Let It In!

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Say YES to allowing and receiving. It benefits everyone.

When you allow, you send a signal to the universe which says I am ready to receive: notice I did not say "giving" which is an outward gesture only. 

Because when you give you frequently forget to receive or maybe you simply do not think of it or shy away from the thought of getting someting back as "selfish". That is nonsense of course.

When you allow yourself to accept a gift — a smile, a compliment and so on — take a deep breath then just say Thank You.

When you allow yourself to receive, you are really saying "I am worth it" and the giver receives that message as well. Allowing and receiving is a direct path to abundance. Let it in!

Brad Yates, EFT Wizard, is here to help you remove the barrier to allowing and receiving.

 

Allowing and Receiving — Tapping with Brad Yates

For those of you unfamiliar with the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Learn EFT and how it could benefit you or check out Brad's website via the video.

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Resistance: A Sign That Something Is Amiss

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When it seems that all of our efforts are being met with resistance, thoughtfully examining the underlying cause of the roadblocks standing between us and our dreams can help us get unstuck. 

Oftentimes, the appearance of numerous setbacks in our paths is the universe's way of informing us that we are off-track and need to reexamine our objectives. 

Pushing against the resistance before us can cause more resistance. Yielding to it, on the other hand, enables us to approach the impediments to our progress with conscious awareness of their origins and potential significance. 

In acknowledging that there are likely other paths we can take, our minds are opened to a variety of unexpected possibilities. 

You will discern the full range of options available to you today when you regard resistance as a sign that something is likely amiss. —DailyOM

Merry Christmas to you all!

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Release Resistance and Let Others Experience The Real You

Image by Lollie-Pop          

Food for thought today peeps is  about releasing resistance — we have so many masks – too many –  and that is tough to maintain particularly under stressful situations.

So the message today is about ending the charade and dropping the masks: let others experience the real you.

Allowing our best qualities to shine forth in our interactions is what will attract people to us. The harder we strive for recognition, the more elusive that attention seems to become. 

If we can instead turn our focus inward, embrace our best qualities, and share them with others, we automatically attract the attention we are seeking.  This puts us in a greater position of empowerment and confidence, because we don't feel the need to keep up a charade. We can simply relax, be ourselves, and enjoy the process. 

Let others experience the real you today, and you will attract lots of positive attention. —DailyOM

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Tuning Your Vibrational Frequency To The Source Within You

When you understand that you are a Vibrational Being, first and foremost—and that your dominant intention becomes that of tuning your Vibrational frequency to that of the Source within you—you will provide the perfect basis for the cells of your physical body to thrive.

But if you are approaching your physical body from the usual physical standpoint, noticing symptoms and analyzing your physical condition, you will emit Vibrational resistance that hinders your well-being. In other words, your Vibrational response to your current condition makes it difficult to overcome any unwanted physical condition.

When you are able to find 15 minutes in every day to relax and tune to the frequency of your Source, during that time of meditation, all resistance and hindrance will cease, allowing the cells of your body the opportunity to return to their natural state of Well-Being. And your improved Vibrational state will then begin to spread through larger segments of your day.

At the root of your physical condition is the condition of your cells. At the root of the physical condition of your cells is a Vibrational pattern. At the root of that Vibrational pattern is alignment with the Well-Being of the Source within you.

—Abraham 

This is 31 of 32 practical expanded quotes excerpted from Abraham’s new Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide that will be available everywhere on Nov. 15, 2010.

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Attention To Obstacles Makes Them Bigger

Overcoming obstacles by IHEARTHIPHOP

From your human perspective, you often believe that you must work hard to overcome obstacles and satisfy shortages and solve the problems that are before you; but often, in that attitude or approach, you work against yourself without realizing it. 

Attention to obstacles makes them bigger and more stubborn; attention to shortages makes them bigger and prolongs them—and attention to a problem prevents any immediate resolution or solution.

As you listen to our guided meditation recording, giving your attention to your breathing and to the natural rhythm of your body, any problematic Vibrational activation will simply cease to be. And, in the absence of that resistance, your Vibration will naturally begin to rise until it will align with the higher Vibration of the very solutions you have been longing for.

In the absence of longing, in the absence of doubt—in the absence of obstacles and shortages and problems—will be the solutions and abundance that you seek. And the evidence of your Vibrational shift will become obvious in two ways: 

  

first, you will feel better; and next, physical evidence of financial improvement will begin flowing to you from a variety of different directions.

—Abraham 

This is 18 of 32 practical expanded quotes excerpted from Abraham’s new Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide that will be available everywhere on Nov. 15, 2010.

An enlightening article

• Michael Bernard Beckwith: The Law Of Attraction: Does It Grant Us An Evolutionary Edge? (huffingtonpost.com)

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Identify Your Hidden Agenda and Get Free

Forgiveness by Carlos Latuff

There is no such thing as coincidence. We all know that, don't we.

I was fired for standing up to the boss which is the first (the firing) in my adult life after 30 plus years in the working world and I feel belittled.  

So, as I work on freeing myself from my own mental bondage i.e. the propensity to lie (exaggerate), point fingers and needlessly justify myself in order to feel good morally, useful information is coming my way on how to get free, which by the way I did not know I needed until they appeared!

 

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." —Henry Drummond

It is far too easy to blame others needlessly in order to feel good but that is because it is all we know and so our egos prime the pump for action. Time for me to change that; how about you.

Wasting time and energy takes us nowhere pleasant. Take a tip and learn from one of the better teachers out there. Meditation is key here and as I am learning every day, freedom is inside of you.

Ed and Deb Shapiro's article excerpt highlights how to identify your hidden agenda and get free:

In order to determine what is driving our own hidden agendas, we can ask: Are we motivated by kindness, forgiveness or generosity, or by judgment, blame or grasping? Are we making someone else seem wrong in order for us to appear right? Are we ignoring or dismissing someone, or are we genuinely concerned?

Forgiveness by Carlos Latuff

"By and large, the mind always looks out critically and deals with external events, but rarely bothers about itself.

Therefore, we have to give it new instructions.

Up to now, you have dealt with what's going on outside; that's well and good, but now the time has come to explore within," writes the Dalai Lama in the foreword to our book, "Be the Change."

"In doing so, we also have to make an effort to restrain the way our thoughts follow memories of the past and speculations about the future. We need to find the space between such thoughts, which, like the water deep in the ocean, remains clear and undisturbed even though there may be waves on the surface." 

—Ed and Deb Shapiro (from What the Dalai Lama taught us about transforming the negative mind) – well worth a read or three. 

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True Power Lies in Releasing Resistance: Effortless Effort is Key

Effortless effort is key to tapping into your boundless reserves. As I am learning, the more I fight and struggle to achieve goals the harder it gets. I know that I am doing it wrong but the instinct is really hard to resist.

Happily for me, I subscribe to Abraham Hicks daily quotes and this one speaks directly to me – true power lies in releasing resistance – :

Most rarely align with their true power, because it seems illogical to them that there is power in relaxation, in letting go, or in love or joy or bliss. Most people do not understand that their true power lies in releasing resistance — which is the only obstacle to their true power.

Most people do not expect their path to great abundance to be one of ease and of joy. They have been taught that struggle and hardship and sacrifice are requirements that must be met before the reward of great abundance can be realized. Most do not understand that the very struggle they deliberately involve themselves in, in their quest for success and advantage, actually works against them.

There are so many things that you have been taught to believe that are counter to the powerful Laws of the Universe that it is difficult for you to think your way out. And that is the reason that we present this path of much less resistance.

We want you to breathe rather than try, to relax rather than offer effort, to smile rather than struggle, to be rather than do. For your true power is experienced only from inside the Vortex.

 — Abraham/Hicks

This is 6 of 32 practical expanded quotes excerpted from Abraham’s new Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide that will be available everywhere on Nov. 15, 2010.

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Be Authentic, Accept 100 Percent Responsibility for your Well-Being, and Be The Change

 Be Authentic, be yourself no matter what, accept 100 percent responsibility for your well-being, and be the change YOU want to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi).

Ed and Deb Shapiro wrote a book by the same name Be The Change: How Meditation Can Transform Your Life. In one word... beautiful.

Bob Proctor's Insight of the day Friday story eloquently illustrates this. Listen well, watch your thoughts, guard your tongue and observe your actions. This way you will know all you need to know about YOU. Read on!

A Touch of Lemon

A Troubled Freshman

When I met Mr. Jim Lemon, I was a sixteen-year-old freshman at Houston's Jackson Junior High and the chances of my finishing high school were slim. I was a troubled teenager with an attitude, living in a neighborhood that fostered troubled teenagers.

Mr Lemon

Mr. Lemon taught American history and it was clear from the first day that his classroom was not going to be disrupted. It was apparent very quickly that Mr. Lemon was quite different from the other teachers I had known. Not only was he a disciplinarian, but also he was a great teacher. He would never settle for my usual standard of classroom work. Mr. Lemon pushed and prodded and never tolerated the mediocrity that had become my standard.

Report Cards

On the occasion of our first semester report cards, Mr. Lemon called me aside and asked how it was possible that I was a B student in his class and a D and F student in the rest of my classes.

I was ready for that question. I passionately told him about my divorced parents, the local gangs, the drugs, the fights, and the police - all the evils that I had been subjected to. 

Accept Personal Responsibility

Mr. Lemon listened patiently and when I was through he responded, "There's a problem with your list Mr. Phillips, you are not on it."

Then Mr. Lemon explained that the only person responsible for my situation was me. And the only person with the potential to change my situation was me, and that when I personally accepted that responsibility I could make a significant change in my life. 

He convinced me that I was failing not because I was a failure, but because I was not accepting the responsibility for my results in those other classes. Mr. Lemon was the first teacher I had who made me believe in myself. He inspired me to become a better student and he changed my life.

Lessons from Mr. Lemon

Ten years later, I spoke to him again. I was preparing to graduate from Chaminade University in Honolulu.

It had taken weeks of telephone calls to find him but I knew what I had to say. 

When I finally did get Mr. Lemon on the telephone, I explained what his brutal honesty had meant to me, how I finally graduated from high school, and how I was a proud staff sergeant in the Army. 

I explained how I had married the most beautiful and wonderful woman of my dreams and how we had a beautiful a daughter.

Most of all I wanted him to know that I was about to graduate magna cum laude after going to school for four hours a night, four nights a week for three years. I wanted him to know that I could never have done any of these things if he had not been a part of my life.

Graduating with Mr. Lemon

Finally, I told him that I had been saving money for two years so that I could invite him and his wife to come to Hawaii at my expense to be part of my graduation. I'll never forget his response. Mr. Lemon said, "Who is this again?"

Lessons Learned

I was just one of hundreds of students whose life he changed and he seemed genuinely surprised of his impact.

Perhaps none of us realize the impact that we have on other people nor do other people have any idea how much of an impact they have on us. 

How much, then, should we be aware of our influence on others to make sure that it is for the best? And how much more should we tell those who have had a positive impact on our lives?

Rick Phillips

Rick Phillips is a motivational speaker and trainer. You can visit his website at: www.rickphillips.com or feel free to email your comments to pssd@earthlink.net

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The Best Lie Detectors Are Children!

The best lie detectors are children! I sincerely hope you all are aware of this fact. You cannot lie to a child without him or her knowing it.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.  ~Stacia Tauscher
 

A murdered child

I read something obscene in one of the newspapers today which has me up in arms, again!

The case involves a twenty-year boy beating a 2-year old baby to death with his fist and a belt buckle. The so-called mother was 21 years old. He was beating her up as usual and she ran out of the house to the neighbour's and left the child sleeping in his crib, and so this piece of shite emptied his rage
on the baby.

Even though child abuse is happening all over the world, it is wrong, obscene every time it happens and in all such cases the perpetrators should be summarily executed or dealt a similar fate. Courts can never do justice, ever, in these cases.

 
A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.  ~Author Unknown

 
And in this particular case, the mother should also be jailed for endangering her child. Her remorse just does not cut it!

The horrifying murder of this latest child was obviously the result of a breakdown in societal and family values with the resulting lack of education on all levels that led to this tragedy.

Stay together for the children

  Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.  ~Harold Hulbert

At the baby's funeral the pastor exhorted parents "to stay together for the children's sake ". Excuse me?!

Does that make sense to you or is it just me considering the unnatural death of this baby boy.

I haven't heard that type of bullshit in a long, long time and I'm shocked and saddened that that kind of thinking still exists.

It distresses me that this type of religious brainwashing and cultural swill is still alive and prevalent and couples are being counselled to stay in their unhappy relationships, to their detriment, for the children's sake.

What about the children?
 

But why is it that people refuse to accept that unhappy parents create unhappy children? An unhappy couple creates a maladjusted individual in adult life. I'm not a psychologist and even I know that.

What about the damn children in all of this? They have a right to love, happiness and unselfish caring and a safe home.  It is not in their best interest to live in an unloving household.

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.  ~Rabindranath Tagore


Emotions are powerful "things" as we all know and they are an intrinsic part of our makeup. So when someone is in the grip of powerful emotions usually negative, it is dangerous for all in the vicinity.

These cowards – men and women – wait until they get home to blow the heat of this volcano on their families and those most vulnerable.


Sensitive beings

When people are angry and arguing and you, as an adult, walk into a room you immediately feel the vibe. It saturates the atmosphere.

So what about these vastly sensitive little beings when they interrupt one of these tense moments?


They inquisitively ask - until they learn not to because mummy and daddy always lie - are you arguing/is something wrong/what's going on?


Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.  ~Maya Angelou


Then the adults lie and say "oh we're just talking hon/nothing's wrong/go outside and play" etc. etc. etc.

Worse yet when mummy isn't "feeling well right now" or she's sporting bruises or obviously in pain or afraid and trying to hide it and act like everything's normal...

I am not saying that it is this way in most families. However, I am willing to bet that it is much more prevalent that many would like to believe.
Children's rights regardless of country, the USA included, are not rigourously enforced.

The best lie detectors

Listen to me people, you cannot lie to a child. Children are the best lie detectors on the planet and I'm sure if the FBI and other security agencies around the world could "bottle" them and their natural abilities to spot a lie when they hear it, they would.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt


So tell me why would you put a child through this torture of staying in an unhappy or abusive relationship? How could that possibly be best for them? How? Obviously, it is not.


Adults welfare more important than a child's

The fact is that adults in general do not think or put a child's emotional and physical welfare before their own and parents even less so, even though they are responsible for that young human until he or she comes of age and can fly on their own.

They feel they know what is best and they do not in most instances. They rarely treat their child or children as intelligent, feeling human beings.
Children are so very wise and perceptive it boggles my mind sometimes.


It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.  ~Frederick Douglass

Stop telling them it is for their own good when it's really for yours, to make you feel good about bad decisions you make because of what you are living.

It is only the brave ones who leave for the child/children's sake because people are basically selfish and cowards at heart. They refuse change and prefer their comfort to their children's security.

Therefore the children, our future, will continue to suffer until the village realises that they are our collective responsibility!

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.  There are seven million.  

~Walt Streightiff 

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Food for Thought: Dishonesty, Insecurity and Lesson Learned

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Food for thought today is about dishonesty, insecurity and lessons learned.

When you lie, cheat, steal or take advantage of people in any way, for any reason, you are dishonest. That's obvious.

When you pretend, boast about what you have, it is tacky and irritating. In contrast, when you boast about what you don't have and pretend about everything else, you are lying.

The thing is though. many of us do this everyday in a myriad of ways.
That's being small, people; but what happens though when you find yourself doing the same shite, like me? I can't very well dismiss myself, can I!

Self-Delusion

For three weeks I was dishonest in exactly the same way, boasting and dropping names and such to "impress" because... I was feeling very insecure.

I so dislike insecure people, don't you. They piss us off because they reflect a part of you (and me) which we recognise intimately and it makes us uncomfortable, hence our negative reaction. 

I grew up in the world of self-delusion and lived there for decades as an adult, and for those few short weeks it felt terrible to be back there disliking my self all over again.

We all want to believe that we are better than "them" but we are not. Reality only comes home to roost when we work our thing out. It is time to decide with Judith Rich Are you progressing or staying stuck?

Insecure people

Insecure people are unhappy people, uncomfortable in their skin, angry at the world in general because they are dissatisfied with the way their life is going, or not.

We spread our discontent around – no one must be happy when we are not – instead of buckling down and taking charge of the situation which is causing distress; thereby controlling our emotions at the same time. Not easy but what is.

The truth is that we are really angry with ourselves because we believe we are not receiving our "just due" in our dysfunctional life. We allow the situation to control us instead of taking charge.

The lies

When I found myself in this angry place I was unfocussed at work. I kept trying to justify my defensive attitude by telling myself that I did not need care about results or the hefty incentive bonus, I just wanted it.

I was lying of course and I was trying to make myself feel better. Note to self: lies to self do not work!

I have done it often enough to know.

Not only that, I like my job because communicating turns me on and tunes me in to people, and I like making people feel good in whatever way I can.

The root of the problem

My biggest failing is that I give up too easily. I thought it had disappeared; another lie to self. In reality, my pain body was just waiting for the right button to be pushed to raise its ugly head.

Bottom line: if you do not assiduously work on yourself nothing improves.
I failed my daily target three days in a row and that depressed me because I was taught that I must never fail so by the time Friday came around, I was convinced that I was a complete failure.

When a thought like that surfaces it is difficult to root it out.

The real issue

This debilitating habit developed during my childhood years where if I didn't perform on demand, doing what in hindsight was impossible for an adult much less a child, I was brutally beaten and severely criticised.

Interestingly enough, I had to deal with the perpetrator of those crimes in the week preceding my first non-performing week. And this time I had to put the vicious, mean-spirited actions to bed once and for all but it hurt me more than it did her.

That is where it all began and my three weeks of emotional disarray were the fallout. Tapping your inner strength in troubling times is essential to moving ahead and leaving the past behind.

Contamination

I am a very gentle creature with an extremely tough exterior and I will only allow certain people in. Be real with me and you will have my undivided attention.

Abrasive and gratuitous violence in any form is unacceptable.

So it is abnormal for me to act harshly with anyone (passed that stage in my younger days) and to have to "verbally" hold your birth mother at bay like a wild animal after a 24-year absence is difficult.

But I refused to allow her viciousness, pettiness and just plain meanness to spread. Despite my best intentions however, it contaminated me and I allowed it affect my job performance.

Lesson for the day

And therein lies the lesson for the day people from a monk I believe – when you are angry it is never for the reason you think.

It is through the process of writing this post that I was able to identify the real problem and work through the unreasonably angry, unfocussed and insecure feelings that I lived through.

I also avoided daily meditation. Eckhart Tolle's Living in presence with your pain body describes my process so well; the bad old times are so seductive because it is all the ego knows and loves until we exorcise the beast by embracing love for one's self.

The truth – I felt so hurt and was devastated by the attacks that I used anger to cover it all up and so, I could not find my bearings. Now, I am licking my wounds.

The decision

I deliberately held off verbalising the decision I made a few months ago and that hesitation is what left me open and vulnerable to attack.

I understand now that this was one of the reasons for my forced return here - unbeknowst to me of course - to see and experience these family members as an adult with the advantage of 24 years distance and growth; to understand, and accept them as they are, and to cut the ties that no longer bind.

I said the fateful words very quietly in another context without conscious thought  -  When I leave here I am not coming back - the silence as they fell was tangible. What a release that was!

"Everyone" heard the portent in those flat words - they went straight to the ether and so it shall be.

The release and the understanding

The incredible disrespect I have been subjected to from a child and throughout my adult years and the incredible disdain for my emotional and physical well-being from then till now is scarily impressive.

If I had an enemy, I would not wish that on him or her. It is devastatingly belittling.

I truly do not know how I survived before in this household so devoid of loving care because nothing has changed! But I understand why I "grew up" so fast as well.

Though it hurts to be treated this way, I still feel compassion a lot of the time for this mean-spiritied, unhappy 72-year old woman who has never accepted responsibility for anything in her life.

With hand on my heart, I repeat the Majestic cleansing and healing with Ho'oponopono:

I'm sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

Lessons learned

I hope this lesson I learned which is a major turning point for me helps someone else on their journey of becoming. That is my reason for sharing it:
And remember:

WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY, 
IT IS NEVER FOR THE REASON YOU THINK!

I am very grateful to my Higher Self for helping me expose this wound and expunge the pus that was causing me so much pain. I am very grateful indeed to make it here.

It is wonderful to be alive people, thrive thrive thrive!

 

Related articles

• Honesty, The Only Worthwhile Virtue (socyberty.com)
• Mike Robbins: The Power of Empathy (huffingtonpost.com)
• Learning Life's Lessons (everydaygyaan.com)

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Self-Delusion: Going Over The Edge and Breaking Your Arse like a Jackass

I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their own happiness or satisfaction. The Dalai Lama

 

Taking the "High" Road

What happens when you allow yourself to be taken "higher" than you feel comfortable being. And I do not mean lofty ideals to aspire to but more in the line of being pushed or allowing yourself to be persuaded that you can do "it".

The "it" being something outside of your experience that you never considered or gave any significant thought to because you knew it was dangerous and/or life-threatening.
In the Caribbean, they have a saying:

Friends will take you but they won't bring you back.

Lifted By "Talk"
Through constant repetition and insistent badgering, you allow yourself to be buoyed along and "lifted"  by the other person's enthusiasm about their "lofty" ideas, inviting you to come along for the ride.

You allow the talk to wear down your natural resistance aided and abetted by your passive listening because... you are unclear about your own path.

So you depend on being bolstered by their "talk" to achieve the result which they desire. That person of course has his or her own agenda and does not have your interests and well-being in mind or heart.

The selfishness must be discovered and understood before it can be removed. It is powerless to remove itself, neither will it pass away of itself.  Darkness ceases only when light is introduced; so ignorance can only be dispersed by Knowledge; selfishness by Love. James Allen

"Breaking" Your Arse

You discover this later on after you almost "break your arse" as they say here in the Caribbean, like a jackass. Or perhaps after you take the fall.

The less interrogative you are the more embroiled you become in this person's far-fetched plans and the longer it takes to unsnare yourself from their selfish coils.

To understand how you could have been so easily led, read of Eckhart Tolle's
Living in Presence With Your Pain Body.

When men, lost in the devious ways of error and self, have forgotten the "heavenly birth," ... they set up artificial standards by which to judge one another. James Allen

Going Over The Edge

Your so-called friend(s) will commiserate with you after you fall, gently chiding you for not taking care and of course, accepting no responsibility for their part in your predicament.

Incredible as it may seem, they will encourage you to try again; that way they don't have to make any effort to get off their own arses and get a life.

But why should they anyway; they have a jackass to ride – you!

As destabilising as these experiences are, they form part of your soul's journey and the disenchantment and aridity are akin to Judith Rich's Crossing the spiritual desert.

I experienced being hoisted almost over the edge a few years ago when I did not know what the hell to do with my life. I was traversing my own spiritual desert at the time, and a snippet of conversation I heard recently brought it all back.

Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom. The Buddha

What Awaits Below?

Here's hoping you see the light before you jump off the precipice with nary a scratch since you allowed yourself to be persuaded that it was possible. Even though common sense and a natural sense of self-preservation told you that you would be out of mind to even consider it!
But you did all the same knowing that nothing but the yawning, black maw of death awaited you below.
I can attest that lack of self-esteem – no compassion for self – is the root cause of this problem.
Some people go over the edge and die physically and/or spiritually or both. Others save themselves in the nick of time and then there are those who just will not go there.
Which are you?

Do comment and share your experiences about "going over the edge" at someone else's behest, and if you avoided it, how you did it and what you learned about yourself in the process.

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Perseverence Day: Never Give Up, No Matter What!

Isn't this a fabulous day today?! Today is Perseverance Day with a mega dose of compassion for yourself first and foremost. That's the subject of my food for thought.

When you think love - the caring and sharing, the gentle nagging, the corrections, the acceptance - you become love.

Do you know that? Lots of things do not flow as smoothly as you would like, but so what!

Your Mettle

It is in the doing that you test your mettle; you get to know who you really are. It is through the difficult encounters that you get to meet your worst enemy, yourself. 

When you accept that no one can do anything to you against your will, THAT is when you grow.

The Journey

It took me a long time to understand and accept that the end-game is the least important. It is the journey itself that grows us strong and true.

Sure, the goal you set yourself will eventually be achieved after you fall down and get up and get knocked down and rise up again, and again and again. 

As the great Muhammad Ali says, it is when you're knocked down and stay down, that is when you lose.

Never do that! When you get knocked on your ass and you think you cannot fight anymore, that is exactly when you must find the strength to pull yourself back on your feet.

Persevere through challenges

I grew up with the lesson that giving up was normal. It was pounded into my head day in, day out for years, in addition to the physical abuse. It is quite amazing how humans – parents and caregivers in particular – find effective ways of anchoring a negative message they want to teach.

You must persevere through all difficulties and challenges. Never give up, no matter what! 

You have no choice in the matter if you want a good life for yourself because sure as hell nobody is going to give it to you on a silver platter.

In Your Moment of Need

If there is something that you want, set your mind on it to the exclusion of all else, decide what you are going to do to get it, put yourself in gear, and go for it. 

Some might say "that's easy for you to say but you don't know my situation". That is a cop out plain and simple and a bunch of bull. There is always a way and someone to hold your hand – open up, reach out and I guarantee you there will be someone there to touch.

The incredible Helen Keller was born deaf and blind in the 1900s  and she did not let that or the nay-sayers stop her from achieving her goals which included earning her bachelor degree.

And there ends my food for thought for today peeps, have a grateful day and as Mahatma Gandhi said BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!

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10 Favourite POSTS Rx-ing for the Soul: Sip, Pause, Savour and Reflect

Image by giobi via Flickr

Here's my good news for the day – 10 favourite posts from the incredible Dr Judith Rich that knocked my socks off. I suggest that you sip, pause, savour and reflect to allow the full taste to bloom in your mouth. 

Her words strike a chord on first read even when you're tempted to dismiss them out of hand but they stay with you, making you think.

Then come the aha! moments and that is the beauty of her words.

1. Kitchen table wisdom 1.0
2. Crossing the spiritual desert
3. Are you available for miracles? 
4. Does life always conspire for our highest good? 
5. The power of conscious forgetting 
6. The power of conscious forgetting, part 2
7. The soul of relationships 
8. Soulful living: why is cultivating the soul so painful? one of my favourites
9. Solitude for extroverts: medicine for a weary soul 
10. Happiness is overrated 

I don't know how she does it so beautifully - must be her connection to Infinite Intelligence otherwise it wouldn't be possible. She always has the subject and us human beings dead to rights! Definitely Rx-ing for the Soul...

Do comment and tell me what specifically touched you or do you think I'm just full of it. Feel free to let me know.

Some more goodies:

• Dr. Judith Rich: Are You Planning for Life or Living It?
• Dr. Judith Rich: How to Love A Curmudgeon

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Emotions Create Suffering

Image by Diego_3336 via Flickr

Emotions create suffering. This is a fact but what are emotions and how do we stop ourselves from thinking and going down that long, dark and ultimately endless tunnel? 

When we finally understand that we are what we think, that is when the change starts. It is at that moment that we realise... I can stop this. I am in charge of my thoughts. That is when we start becoming aware.

Listen to the gracious and humble Eckhart Tolle and Thich Nhat Hanh teach us about ending our suffering for good.

 
Thich Nhat Hanh - The End of Suffering

SUBLIME!

Eckhart Tolle - The End of Suffering

Eckhart Tolle - Emotions

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