7 Ways to Become Stressless and Tap Into Everyday Spirituality

Here are my suggestions on how to become stressless and tap into everyday spirituality.

It is something I am growing into and appreciating more and more every day, and I hope you do as well. If not, why not give one a try. It can't hurt.

1. How to Tap into Everyday Spirituality: 3 Ways to Everyday Spirituality - The 3 techniques cover how to Be mindful - Be still - and Energise your surroundings.  In other words pay attention to whatever you are doing - be in the moment.  Become quiet and go inward; and get rid of the clutter around you, be it people, things or tasks which need to be done. Whatever bugs you, get.rid.of.it and boost the energy in your home (or office).
2. How to Focus and Clear Your Mind: A One-Minute Technique - This is a simple breathing technique which is unobtrusive and can be used anywhere. It is meant to override fear and nervousness while you are waiting in an office, on your way to an interview, etc. It clears the mind and helps you regain clarity and focus.
3. How to Meditate in The Morning and Jumpstart Your Day - A 20-minute technique in 7 steps to be done before you get out of bed. It centres your internal force and grounds you, enabling you to better manage whatever comes your way during the day.
4. How to Find Your Natural Peaceful State with Meditation - A 5-step body focussing technique which allows you to "free yourself" from the stress of the day. It's a great way to ensure a restful sleep at night. And alternatively, can be used in the morning as well.
5. How to Become Stressless and Manage Your Life: A Simple Technique to Eliminate Stress - A 5-minute revving up with laughter. 
6. How to Resolve Conflicts Within Yourself: A Stress-Busting Solution - A 20-minute journaling session to reconnect with your feelings after a hard day, bad day, or even better, a glad day.
7. How to Find Inner Calm When Everything Around You is Crazy - A 5 or 20-minute process where you allow yourself to completely feel and accept whatever feelings are present at that moment. You sink into them and become one with them and watch as they fade away and disappear as if they never were.

 Worry only seems to be necessary.  Eckhart Tolle

 
Be sure to follow the One Moment Meditation 30-day series which starts on 1 April 2010 on Oprah dot com with Martin Boroson.  

He says "Every day for 30 days beginning April 1, you will find a new article with a simple-to-follow advice inspired by my book One-Moment Meditation: Stillness for People on the Go, helping you to transform stress— quickly."

 

Do share your thoughts with me about these techniques and let me know what works for you or if you have something else which works just as well or better.

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How to Relax - Profoundly - in 22 Easy Steps: Relaxation-on-Tap

We all need to wind down every day after winding ourselves up to face each day and deal with stressfull situations.

Here's a technique which I spontaneously created for myself one lunchtime many years ago to handle the incredible stress of my work life and it still serves me well to this day.

These easy steps to profound relaxation teach you how to be in harmony with who you are.  Relaxation-on-tap is what it's all about and it is an everyday spirituality practice worth pursuing!

Instructions

1. Find a quiet and calm spot away from all distractions.
2. Turn off the ringer on your phone, turn off the television, children, pets and partners.
3. Time yourself for thirty minutes. When you master this, you will be able to "get into the zone" within 5 minutes.
4. The first ten minutes is for the physical  relaxation.
5. Lie down, sit down, or recline. Basically, choose any position which make you feel comfortable.
6. Have a recording device handy. You will discover the reason for this in the final step. It is optional but may be useful to some.
7. Don't try to figure out any of the instructions: your brain already knows how, so just follow along and let your fabulous body do it's work.

How to relax profoundly in 22 easy steps

1 -  Take 3 long, slow, deep breaths breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Each breath inflates your belly and chest each time.

2 -  To relax your shoulders, lift them when you breathe in and lower them when you breathe out.

3 -  Relax your hair to the ends.

4 -  Relax your scalp.

5 -  Relax your forehead.

6 -  Relax your cheeks.

7 -  Relax your mouth, tongue and chin. (hint: your chin lowers a little and your mouth naturally opens.)

8 -  Relax your throat.

9 -  Relax your shoulders.

10- Relax your arms.

11- Relax your back.

12- Relax your chest.

13- Relax your abdomen and belly.

14- Relax your internal organs.

15- Relax your pelvis and hips. Feel the entire area sink into your back.

16- Relax your lower back and buttocks. Feel them sink into the floor.

17- Relax your thighs. (you might feel the need to shift your position here to get more comfortable because your muscles are relaxing - do it)

18- Relax your knees.

19- Relax your calves.

20- Relax your ankles and feet.

21- Repeat to yourself - relax, relax, relax.

22- At this point your body is very relaxed and you're at the doorway to your particular no-mind destination. If this is not the case, repeat steps 3 to 21.

23- Record steps 1 to 21 on your cell phone, PDA or cheap voice recorder. This way, your relaxation-on-tap becomes your portable, chemical-free medication to be used and abused as you see fit.

Wrap up

As I said at the beginning of this article, it is possible to perform this relaxation technique in one to five minutes by telling yourself to relax and concentrating on your breathing. You will know you have achieved it when you come back to yourself.

I have achieved profound relaxation within ten minutes during lunch breaks or taking a five-minute break from the "over-heated" office by consciously focussing on deep breathing while following this technique.

Problem-solving technique

This method is also a fantastic for problem-solving technique! So don't be surprised at the ideas or solutions which pop into your mind during or after a session. Keep the problem at the front of your mind with the intent to find a solution. It may happen that day.  Try it and come back and tell me how it worked for you.

Technorati Tags: empowerment-technique, everyday-spirituality, >relax-profoundly-in-22-steps

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I Wasn't Ready To Be Rich? 5 Lessons Learned

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My Investments


My investments which I had placed fifteen years previously had matured and I could not blindly reinvest under the same terms and I just couldn't seem to take it all in. What the hell was I going to do with all this money?! I wasn't ready to be rich!  I can admit it now -fifteen months after I lost it all.


Those six figures were intimidating particularly when combined with what I had already!  I was already earning six figures but you don't see it when you are working for a salary and the other investments are out of sight.


Sure, I looked at the monthly statements, then the  bi-monthly, then the semi-annuals until it came to a point when I only looked at the annual statements. It gave me such a rush every time I saw the balance significantly increased. But it was just numbers on paper and it didn't feel real. It never ever occured to me to plan on what to do with it.


Living A Good Life


I was already living a very good life, vacationing wherever I wanted, travelling only in business class, and just basically having on-tap and available whatever I wanted. I had no money problems although I did worry about money because I am a single woman and security was and is important to me.

I did  however, have lots of job stress which I hated but accepted as par for the course. Travelling anywhere I desired compensated for that (I thought).


At the same time, my suddenly very hefty bank account with all that spare cash enabled me to see larger and go further and spend on things I genuinely liked and wanted which I had never considered  or allowed myself to do before (vacations not included).  

For instance, buying a three thousand dollar handbag instead of the one for a thousand dollars. I had always reined myself in severely even though I could have afforded it before, and that was a clue to which I should have paid attention.


A Prosperity Vibration


I LUV to shop and spending money gives me such a buzz. Man, I always feel fantastic. Shopping is a genuine joy for me whether an item costs one hundred bucks or a thousand. My only criteria is quality.

I decided to let myself go with all that spare cash - taking off the reins, so-to-speak. I understand now that the buzz was in fact a vibration - a proserity vibration.  Now, I'm not saying that I spent or felt I had to spend thousands of dollars each day. Nothing of the sort; at least not yet! 

Since I was already quite comfortable, that  extra quarter million dollars added a boost to my life. Whenever I went shopping and only in the best places, I felt that  wonderful powerful rush of energ y. It felt right and so did I!. The ideas and desires I had became larger than life.


For instance, one which occurred to me was buying my very own three hundred acre mountain top in Hawaii. As much as I love the place, I had to wonder where the heck that idea come from because I certainly did not have that kind of money.


The Law of Vibration and Spend, Spend, Spend


The thing is though, when you have all this money and you're not comfortable with that much spare cash sitting in your account, and you have made no plans to reinvest it, you end up doing shit. Spend, spend, spend is what I mean and that is what I did. I squandered that money because I was so damn uncomfortable with it just "being there".


Those negative feelings are very powerful vibrations which call forth the means which will enable you - me - to get rid of that which you do not want. 


In the Caribbean, there's an old folks saying "You will pick and pick (choose), until you pick shit" because you can't make a decision and when you finally do, it's the wrong one. So said, so done and despite the circumstances there is no one to blame but myself. I accept that. I simply wasn't ready to be rich.


Lessons Learned


The lessons I learned were numerous.

1. Ask for help immediately, not in the late half when your back is to the wall.  I have four great friends who are very wealthy, and through them I received excellent advice from their investment brokers about which I did nothing. Obviously, I was a disaster waiting to happen.
2. When you know you're off-course, stop.  I knew something was deadly wrong when out of character, I started buying three and four thousand dollar handbags every two weeks or so. That is not how I normally shop at all. I window shop in every store for the best deals when I want something before I spend one cent.
3. Pay attention to how you feel.  I always advise people to question themselves many times during the day about how they feel. But did I take my own advice - no! Buying all that stuff was hard work.  There was no pleasure in it at all and that was such an in-your-face clue. I freely and happily admit that I love money;  it's such a joy to spend it and feel that wonderful energy percolating in your cells. It was completely absent (another clue).
4. Be aware of your belief system.  "Money doesn't make you happy" was mine and I didn't even know it. That is now done and dusted though. If I hadn't fallen into the shit pile I would not have uncovered it.
5. I wasn't ready for money, period!

And what's your story? Have you felt led astray financially, and have you owned up to the fact that you and you alone are responsible for your actions? How did you come to realise this and what actions did you take when you aha! moment struck? Do share your insights with us.

Technocrati Tags: are-you-ready-to-be-rich, law-of-vibration

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What Is Tolerance?

What is tolerance?  What does this word mean to you?  Most people say they have it and a lot of people swear they do but when it comes time to practise it, that's another story.

I had an interesting interaction - if you could call it that - with some folks on Facebook today on the subject of religion. It all started with my bluntly stating that I did not want to be involved with or be invited to any group which espoused any type of religion.

What a fallout that created. I was accused of being intolerant when in fact I was simply making it clear  where I stood to avoid any such group invitations. I knew I was wasting my time and energy in replying to the writer but I did it because I was in a bad mood.

Happily for me, even when I'm in a bad mood, I don't get distracted from the issue at hand. It however does make me more forceful in my response; never unpleasantly though (anymore) because I passed that stage a while ago. Now, anyone who looks at my Facebook profile would see that I espouse similar sentiments to Bob Maher. That alone should tweak their antennae.

And that nonsensical encounter begs the question what is tolerance? I firmly stand up for my right to say what I want and do not want. No one is going to do it for me, and besides, I'm very good at it.

I don't claim to have any special knowledge but I know what I know for sure and it is this:

Tolerance is difficult to practise when we hold onto judgements of others. I am living this right now. Tolerance is consciousness... Tolerance is awareness... Tolerance is love and tough love at time.

Tolerance is what Abraham-Hicks call allowing the other to be, do or have whatever they want. I do not have to take anything into my experience that I do not like.

What does tolerance mean to you dear reader? I look forward to your responses.

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What Does Your Brain Say About You and Why You Should Pay Attention

I saw this fascinating two-hour programme Change your brain, Change your body with Dr Daniel Amen on PBS recently. He tells you what your brain says about you and why you should pay attention.


He was talking about the connection between the body and the brain - one of my favourite subjects - in this case the focus was on the manner in which the brain affects weight loss.


All of the information is taken from his book Change Your Brain, Change Your Body and get a load of readers' responses on his blog.


Dr Amen was so passionate about the subject that I was hooked and it washed the sleep from my eyes.  I took tons of notes; some are verbatim and some not, so this is just for information and you should refer to his website or blog for specific details.

Everything he said made sense; I was familiar with some of the information he shared too which perked me up.

My weight loss delimmaI made some interesting connections in my own weight loss delimmas and it made me understand why it was so hard for so long. Notwithstanding the fact that I was doing it because others said that I should which is impossible when trauma is the reason for it all.


Anyway, once that was dealt with and when I stopped forcing the issue and concentrated on my self (psychotherapy and meditation) that is when most of my excess weight fell off like magic. His site and book should help me get over the hump to lose my last seven kilos (16 pounds). We'll see.

Main talking points connecting brain and body

Just the way we are in charge of our thoughts and can change what we think and therefore change our habits. I know, I know, easier said than done for some and that's where Dr Amen and people like him come into the picture.

In exactly the same way, when we know how our particular brain functions, this insight provides us with the torchlight we need to highlight those areas we knowingly or unknowingly ignore.

Okay, here are the salient points:

1 - Boost your brain to lose your belly.

2 - Know your motivation. You must have a burning desire to lose weight. This enables you to focus your mind and motivates you to avoid foods which are detrimental to your losing weight. 

One way to stay focussed on your objective is to write down your motivation and keep it where you can see it. That makes it concrete.

Also, according to what you eat, it inhibits you. And eating foods with a high sugar and high salt intake activates stimulates the addictive part of your brain.

3 - Know your brain type. According to Dr Amen, most people have a combination of two brain types. There are five:

• Compulsive - stuck on the thought of food. They're also late night eaters who stay up late worrying which creates additional stress which in turn causes them to eat. It's usually indicative of low levels of serotonin which calms the brain. The typically skip breakfast as well.
• Impulsive - Constantly on diets. Poor impulse control, easily distracted, short attention span. This brain type needs to boost their dopamine levels and they need more protein in their diets and less carbs.
• Combination type: compulsive/impulsive - This type overthinks and gets stuck on negative thoughts (that's partly me, Yours Truly). Supplements like 5-HTP and green tea in addition to increased serotonin and dopamine (from exercise) is recommended for this brain type.
• Sad overeater - typically struggles with low energy and easily gains weight in winter. Low levels of vitamin D are also a problem (lack of sunlight) so exercise is also necessary.
• And finally, the Anxious overeater worries and eats constantly to make him or herself feel better but it doesn't work.

 

If your hormones are out of balance, no diet will work for you. So go get your hormones checked ladies. A simple saliva test will provide the doctor with all the information he or she needs to know to rectify the imbalances. It did for me.

A saliva tests measures among other things your levels of estrogen, progesterone, testostorone (yes, women have it as well), DHEA (the mother of all hormones) etc. and indicates what's low and/or too high.

4 - Get your cravings under control. To do this you need to:

• Keep your blood sugar under control.
• Eat breakfast, have smaller meals during the day.
• Decrease stress levels; try hypnosis and meditation. I would also suggest that you reconnect with yourself through the emotional freedom technique.
• Decrease artificial sweeteners in your diet. They activate the need for more sugar. Eliminate all diet drinks.
• Outsmart food triggers. By that he means know when you're vulnerable and take preventive measures. Going to a friend's house with fattening snacks or mom's house with the typical calorific dishes? Eat before you go and drink a large glass of water before the meal.
• Hidden food allergies can also trigger food cravings. Here he spoke about lactose and wheat intolerances.

5 - Kill the ANTs - automatic negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts and constantly ask yourself "Is this true?" Identify the little lies you tell yourself and write them down!

You will be shocked and amazed when you see what you tell yourself. Monitor your negative thoughts for one month and keep asking if what you're telling yourself really makes sense. That is a huge wake up call. We tend to be our own worst enemies.

6 - Eat right to think right. And there are seven rules to follow:

• High quality calories in/high quality calories out i.e. no fast foods and eat complex carbs.
• Drink lots of water and don't drink your calories i.e. no diet drinks. Eliminate them completely. (The agro-chemical industry is lying to you about zero calories.) Replace sodas with water and lemon and add a drop or two of Stevia which is a natural plant sweetener from Latin America with very low calories.  Note: Don't be mislead by the FDA which actively supports big pharma and the agro-chemical industry!
• Eat high quality lean protein during the day: grass-fed beef (no antibiotics), turkey, etc.
• Eat high carbs, low glycemic (sugar) foods like whole grain bread, brown rice instead of white, fresh fruits and lots of veggies. The whiter the bread, the faster you're dead.
• Focus your diet on healthy fats and eliminate trans fats and animal fats from your plate. Animal fats store toxins. Also. cows are meant to eat grass not corn which is why they require so much antibiotics. It is not natural to them. These unhealthy fats block the brain from knowing when the stomach is full.
• Eat from the rainbow i.e. eat colourful fruit and vegetables.
• Cook with brain-healthy foods and herbs like tumeric, safran, sage, cinnamon etc.

7 - Dr Amen provided ten points but nature called and I missed this one. Sorry :)

8 - Know your BMI - body mass index. Excess calories pack on fat so they do count.

9 - Hypnosis and meditation can boost your brain.

10-Start today.

This is wonderful, wonderful stuff and just the top of the iceberg so be sure to check out Dr Amen's blog, website and book if you are looking for long-lasting weight loss backed by science.

And guess what I just found, an article by Dr Amen on HuffPost on the same topic, change your brain change your body. It completes what I have written.

I sincerely hope you, dear reader, find it interesting enough to follow up. Do let me know. And thank you for reading.

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Stop Judging, Criticising and Complaining: A Lesson

          Beach in Tobago via Wikipedia

We all have to stop judging, criticising and complaining and that starts with me. Here are two stories to illustrate lessons to be learned.

A Man and His Cat

I remember reading many, many years ago a story about a man and his cat in one of James Herriot's stories about his life as a country vet in England in the sixties, I believe (don't quote me). It went like this:

There was this big, brawny guy who was gruff and habitually terse to everyone in the village which they all took as rudeness. He was a good worker but people were afraid of him because of his size and demeanor, and he had this pet cat (don't remember it's name) which he carried to Mr Herriot's clinic regularly for checkups.

As Mr Herriot told it, he also kept the man at arms length which of course, increased the man's defensive persona.

Tough Guy's Tears

One day, Mr Tough Guy came to Herriot in tears – try to picture this six-foot plus unshaven bruiser – with his cat lying limp in his arms. The vet was shocked to see human-like qualities in this creature for whom he had disdain in his heart.

The cat was dead; it had been poisoned by someone in the village who did not like Mr Tough Guy (he did not fit in which made the person fearful). The man's cat was his only friend!

And it's at that moment that, according to Mr Herriot, he realised that he too had been judging the man unfairly based on what others said about him. 


A Lesson: These People are So Primitive

Regular blog readers know that I'm now based in the southern Caribbean, Trinidad and Tobago to be precise, and I have been experiencing frustrating times with Internet and Wi-Fi access.

Nothing was going right. Returning here after eighteen years in Europe was a shock and things weren't working as I thought they should.

From the inefficiencies I encountered in various places to a simple wifi connection. The system kept crashing repeatedly. So, although knowing better, I was whining and constantly complaining and bitterly criticising all and sundry about it, and my favourite phrase was "these people are so primitive".

Hey, I say what I think man. Get with the programme, I expect effiiciency and courtesy, so do your damn job which is to assist me; I am the client after all.


The Outcome of my Thoughts
Six days ago, I pulled the posts I had for automatic postings on my blog to tweak them a bit when logic dictated I should have done it one at a time considering my spotty Internet connection. Guess what happened?

The entire system crashed and I had no Internet access for six days! So, I'm using a neighbour's system to upload some posts now.

In addition to which I also discovered that it wasn't the entire system at fault. It was a missing part which was creating the two-month long problem.

Lessons learned

Stop judging, criticising and complaining because you will get more of what you don't want. I firmly believe that developing this new attitude is part and parcel of everyday spirituality.

Go ahead and empower yourself by taking Dr Cara Barker's 21-Day Challenge to Stop Complaining, Criticising and Gossiping. It's at the bottom of this very interesting article she wrote. It will do you the world of good as it's doing for me.

Much love to y'all.

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4 Simple Ways to Communicate Effectively and Be Heard

Love might make the world go round but communication is what creates harmonious and lasting relationships which makes us go round the world together!

When I woke this morning these 4 simple ways to communicate effectively and be heard popped into my head. They are not original, however they are quite effective.

1 - Write down the points you want to discuss. It is an excellent way to keep yourself on topic, and ensures that you remember what you want to talk about especially when you are emotionally involved.

It is also useful when the other person tries to derail you so that you get caught up in their story. 

Choose the moment. For instance, the end of a stressful working day is a bad idea. She or he will be more receptive to what you have to say when they are relaxed.

2 - Always begin by saying "I feel...".  The person you are speaking with will relax and lower their guard because you are not accusing them.

This is particularly important because no one on this green earth is a mind reader. It is therefore your responsibility to speak up and explain how you feel and why.

"Acting out" solves nothing and worsens the situation. This in turn leads

to accusations, recriminations, bad feelings and break ups.

And remember:

• no one can hurt you unless you allow them to;
• no one can make you feel a particular way unless you want to;
• you are responsible for the way you think, feel and act. If this is particularly difficult for you, seek professional help to sort out your issues. I did it for a year and recommend psycho-therapy every change I get!

3 - Write a letter and mail it to the person concerned.  This is fantastic therapy and it is incredibly cathartic. It is particularly useful with people estranged from each other who:

• want to make peace; 
• clear up misunderstandings but cannot get past the emotional mine field; or 
• just get the shit off their chest before they choke. 

a) Share your feelings honestly in the letter and if it is a new relationship you want to create, go easy on the accusations and recriminations. Begging and pleading are self-defeating, limiting and shows a lack of self-respect.

b) Be prepared to accept the response, whatever it may be. If there is no reply, that is also a response.

c) This works even when you are living under the same roof and is a great ice-breaker but the close proximity could make it more stressful for you the writer. If that is the case, send the letter to the person's workplace, marked private and confidential.

This method is also therapeutic for children, particularly teenagers and adolescents who, habitually, are unable to express themselves as they might like.

d) Do not give the person advanced warning as you might be tempted to and do not hound them about it either. That could sabotage your efforts before the process has even begun.

However, you should definitely be planning - not rehearsing, that never works - what you want to say for the heart-to-heart talk.

This letter-writing method works because:

• you have given the person the space they need to read, absorb, think and reflect on the contents;
• there is no direct judgement or expectation which makes people defensive;
• it comes from a place of self-love; yes, this is how much you love yourself!
• you have lifted the emotional load off your chest and released the pressure which allows you to have a clear head; and more importantly
• written words carry tremendous power. Once they are read they cannot be unread and are recorded by the mind. And when emotions are involved the words leave an indelible impression on the reader who cannot ignore them.

4 - Listen when the other person is talking.  It is all very well to talk about talking but if you are not prepared to be present and listen to what the other person has to say, then it is a waste of everyone's time.

Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two people to communicate. For this to work you need:

• quiet time free of distractions - no PDAs, cell phones, children, radio or TV;
• compassion and understanding;
• clarity of thought and purpose no matter how nervous you feel; think about the outcome of this first of many discussions;
• a willingness to listen - I mean actively listen;
• the ability to keep your mouth shut while the other person is speaking; that means kill the "yes, but...", and 
• When it is your turn to respond, start with "I hear what you're saying..."  and mean it.

And there you have it folks, my contribution to us getting along - 4 simple ways to communicate effectively and be heard.

Hop over to Positively Present's 3 Ways to be conscious of your communication. I have never read a blog so aptly named; she really is positively present and it is a joy to read her posts.

What do you think about my suggestions and what would you add that works for you?

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Blind With Eyes Wide Open: A Dream Story

Jade Buddha at Quang Duc by Trieu P Nguyen via Flickr

The fall

She felt herself falling into an abyss and she started screaming. Everything was black yet she could still see. When she hit bottom the ground didn't feel hard but it wasn't soft either.  

The ball

She suddenly found herself in a room which was pitch black and she's squeezing a massive ball tightly to her chest; so tightly in fact by anyone's reckoning it should burst but doesn't. She kept on hugging it, pressing it to her chest. 

Mind talk

Then she felt an insidious niggling in her head; thoughts were trying to intrude into the silence. It was the ego. "I know you for what you are so go away, thank you very much" she said to it. It was so afraid; it didn't want to die. 

The passage

Then the bubble that she was crushing to her chest starts passing through her body as if she's transparent. She can see it as it comes out of her back. The bubble disintegrates after going through her and disappears; taking with it all that was foreign to her body. 

She feels a knot of fear in her gut. "What the hell am I doing, what is going on?" she wonders in panic. Nothing makes sense here.

The bubble keeps getting smaller and smaller in her arms as she continues to press it against her chest. It passes right through her, disintegrating and disappearing completely. 

Wakey, wakey  by law_keven via Flickr

Blind with eyes wide open

She looks around and realises that it's still dark. It's then that she realises that her eyes are closed. She opens them and looks around, puzzled.

She knows for sure when she landed that her eyes were open but she couldn't see a thing because it was pitch black; so when did she close them.

Illumination and exit

Now, there's a soft silver-white light illuminating everything yet she sidles close to wall and finds herself hugging it and feeling around with her hands as if she still can't see. They find a door handle. She turns it and pushes the door open. There's a sudden gust of fresh air and she takes a deep, gratifying breath. 

With a start, I feel the ball in my gut disappear and my eyes fly open for real.

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It's Time To Go Fishing... For Your Beliefs

Image via Wikipedia

What does your belief system tell you? When you can answer this question honestly you will be way ahead of the pack! If you do not know then it's definitely time to go fishing for your beliefs.

The question came to mind after reading Jami Sell's "Catching Fish in a Jar" from his book Thought and Belief: How To Unlock Your Potential and Fulfill Your Destiny.

Jami also brought us the "24-Hour Perspective" which I wrote about in Tearing away the veil of illusion: The 24-hour Perspective. 

It was one hell of an eye-opener and deserves frequent readings to remind ourselves not to allow other people's energy into our space.

Let no one tell you that you can't

In Catching Fish in a Jar he explores our belief systems in story form, taught to us from the cradle by our parents and care-givers, and which in fact are extremely limiting.

In this particular story, he explains that as kid he wouldn't have even tried using a jar to catch fish if an adult had told him that he couldn't.

And that is why I encourage you to question your beliefs every time you're about to take any kind of action, and when you think that you can't because...

you can. Create your own rules to live by.

The rewards

Image via Wikipedia

However, the rewards of true friendship, real love for yourself and others, with your environment made up of people who are positive and support you unstintingly and build you up, and a well-deserved flow of prosperity and abundance which you never experienced before in such quantity, will be yours.

I'm not saying there won't be challenges; there shall always be because that's how we grow, expand and become.

It's time to go fishing for your beliefs. What you find will be well worth the journey.  Never cease to question!

So what's your answer to what does your belief system tell you, and how do your manage your self-doubt and false beliefs?

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How Not to Block Yourself When You Want Something

I Want

Having faith is the prerequisite to getting what you want. And as I said in a previous post, faith is the key that unlocks the door called desire and I am not kidding. The unwavering belief that you will get what you desire and from which you will not be swayed is what you want to develop.

Whatever method you use to connect with Universal Spirit which keeps you focussed on what you desire is good.  However, you should change it if it does not feel right. Imprinting your desires upon your subconscious mind is your goal.

Spirit is in all place at all times. Since this is so, it follows that you possess the godlike ability to tap into positive thoughts anytime you wish and anywhere you choose. Bob Proctor

The subconscious mind cannot reject thoughts which is why constant repetition is essential. This is why you also get what you do not want. Focus, affirm, repeat and believe in your dream no matter what setbacks come your way, and let go and let God as Bob Proctor advises in his fabulous in You Were Born Rich.

The Need to Share Feelings

 

I just think of what I want simply, clearly and without fuss or force and I usually get it. For instance, the other day following an incident I witnessed I decided that I needed to speak with the bully. Then I didn't think about it again but the intention was clear.

Later that week I found myself spontaneously writing a list of points I wanted to cover.  I don't normally do this and the timing had to be just right too because the individual is usually angry and on the defensive and I needed to be calm, cool and collected.

When I saw her pass by soon after I finished the list, I thought "I need an opportunity to bring this up". Guess what happened? Within thirty minutes of having that thought, the individual approached me for no particular reason and I seized the opportunity to share my feelings.

I Feel That...

When you feel strongly about an issue and want to share what's on your mind, always start by saying "I feel that..."  Because it is your feelings which are involved and you cannot know what another person feels or thinks unless you ask.

Communicating in this way in a professional setting or with friends or loved ones avoids accusations, confrontation and the resulting acrimony or stone-walling, and paves the way for two-way discussions.

I operated in accusatory mode for years and when I switched a few years ago to this way of communicating, it was smooth sailing from there on.

Talking out the feelings instead of letting them submerge you is where it's at. Try it.

How Not to Block Yourself

The one small problem I created and am in the process of undoing is not allowing money to flow to me in a continuous stream instead of in fits and starts; it is like an old clunker you have to "warm up" even on summer days.

It is because I keep falling back into egoic feeling instead of trusting and being. I have a way to go yet.

My issues are:

1- I am not sure of exactly what I want but I know what I do not want. 

2- I doubt my skills and abilities because I focus on other people's criteria and then that blocks me.

3- The image of what I want is not fixed in my mind because I am torn between what I want and feeling the soul's desires.

4- I do not repeat my affirmations as diligently as I need to pump up my flagging self-confidence.

5- I feel that I need to have outside resources to fuel my quest for a new life even though I know that to be untrue. Because prosperity is born in the inner kingdom first before manifesting in the physical world.

6- I focus on what could go wrong.

In Conclusion

This is not the post I intended to write or publish today but this one wanted to get out and since there was no outline, it took a while.

I will close with this exhortation from the great man, Bob Proctor:

You must consciously entertain only the mental allies of your ambition and those attributes which will help you realize the manifestation of your goal.

For when your are firmly grounded in faith, negative thoughts will have no power over you, because they will not be in harmonious vibration with your new image. You will be mentally strong through the conscious awareness of God's power within you.

Does any of this ring true for you? How do you stay strong when your faith is taking some hard knocks? Do leave me a comment below.

Technorati Tags: how-not-to-block-yourself

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Why Don't Others See What I See?

Image via Wikipedia

The motivations which drive the people with whom I come into contact are so damn clear, even a baby could read them.



And I just do not understand why others do not see what I see!

When I was very young I shielded myself from it the only way I could be retreating into myself because I did not understand it and it was too much.

During puberty and adolescence that wasn't possible - there was way too much emotion on the boil so I was always "boiling over",  and being raped by a man supposedly my stepfather did not help matters.

My first "real" knowing

I clearly remember meeting him when I was six or seven and when he disinterestedly patted me on the head like a dog, I remember "knowing" that I did not matter to him at all.

I disliked him from day on and that never changed until I decided to call him and tell him I forgave him for what he did to me; how it destroyed my life until I created one for myself in my forties. It was not not for him; I had to get rid of the weight on my shoulders.

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia
And to be clear because even my psychologist asked me how I could have forgiven him for what he did. 

It was easy because I had finally worked through that shit and my suicidal breakdown - for which she was treating me - was part of the process in order to reconstruct my psyche.

This corrupted creature has been weaned from my psyche. He is now a distant memory as if the event happened to someone else.

A lesson on desire and belief works

I have always puzzled over why others don't see what I see.  I know I am not unique in my observations so where is everyone else.

I want digress here to show you how desire and belief attracts what you want - as it happened to me - despite the unhappiness in my life at the time. 

A desire for my own house

With all that happened to me in that house, I desperately wanted my own house. With the help of an influential cousin in the government at the time, my first job at eighteen was a two-year temporary contract in a government office.

The Chaconia - Trinidad's national flower - Image via Wikipedia

That first job put me on track to start saving to buy my own home with a government-backed mortgage plan.

I submitted my first application at eighteen and repeated it every year for four years. 

At the end of my two-year contract, I was offered a much better paying job in an Amoco Oil joint venture. Two years later, at twenty-one years of age, I moved into my very own home.

House allocation and payment 

By the time I received the approval letter allocating me a house in a prime neighbourhood, I had saved exactly the amount of money required for the downpayment - $10,566 - give or take a few dollars left over, and my new salary covered the monthly mortgage.

My belief in action

Our garage and veranda were packed with all the second hand furniture, new appliances, linens, dishes etc. that I had purchased in preparation for my new home. The only thing I needed to buy was curtains, weed killer and a lawn mower.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, come what may, I intended to have my my own home. And despite the constant criticism from my siblings about my "junk" taking up too much space and usual sabotage, nothing threw me off course. 

A trip back to the old home

Okay, back to 2010. I am currently residing in the family home in the most southerly Caribbean islands of Trinidad and Tobago. This was a very reluctant trip and I resisted like crazy being pushed in this direction.

Image via Wikipedia

But I also understood after touching base with one of my best friends that there must be a reason for it even though it was not in my plans at all. So I bit the bullet.

I am now as acclimatised as I am going to get after eight weeks here and St Martin (much less humid and my favourite island) is calling.


From my observation post, I still ask the question "why don't others see what I see" or maybe it should be why don't more people see what I see.

Motivations behind the actions

Here are some of my observations and by the way, my authenticity has always made my birth family uncomfortable, as well as my saying it as I see it, so this post is not going to make the slightest difference:

» People ingratiate themselves with my mother with glaringly obvious ulterior motives and she cannot see it. I tell her what they are but she does not accept it.

Manipulation and sabotage

» My sister deliberately monopolises her two-year old grandson's attention and sabotages his growing independence which forces him to cling to her. She uses him to avoid taking action on matters which require her attention.

When he is with her and his great-grand mother he only speaks "street", is screaming, tearful and wilful and she's in her best screaming mode. She sets him up you see and primes him every evening on his return from kindergarden. It is fascinating to watch. 

A beach in Tobago courtesy  Wikipedia

» She deliberately sabotages my efforts to discipline and teach manners to the wild child who returns home to Atlanta in April 2010.

He is her bulwark against the "storm" of responsibilities for which she signed up.

» Her grandchild is calm, chatty and courteous and speaks proper English when he is with me, and I usually put him to work playing football outside, drawing, counting cars, singing to music on my Ipod and so on.

I shared my observations with my sister (unasked) and she responded "I don't see that". Door shut; end of story.

Micro-management and consequence

» She micro-manages everything and everyone in her environment because she feels overwhelmed and cannot admit it, and feels unable to ask for help.

As a consequence, anger is usually just below the surface. And of course, she overeats as well.

» She worries needlessly about money and pinches pennies in the stupidest places, when the truth is she is financially very well-off by anyone's standard.

Facing the large instead of the shore

My sister's inability to communicate and express herself clearly without putting anyone down, her propensity for holding grudges and always wanting to be right, and her need for everything to be on her terms to make her feel justified in her actions, has her stalled in the water and facing the wide open sea instead of the shore.

Another "story" for the road

The boss' office

The Chaconia via Wikipedia

I applied for a national identification card and was called into the boss' office to respond to a query. The woman behind the desk started speaking in a very loud voice which I thought strange.

A bizarre reaction


Nevertheless, I immediately became attentive.  I "checked in" with myself to see if it was me projecting. I was my usual reserved self and observant self.

I realised she was reacting to my persona.  I listened to her attentively and answered questions with continuous eye contact.  

Do we know each other?

She subsequently lowered her voice yet continued to speak in a contentious manner and she asked me twice in succession "do we know each other". I had just returned to the country after almost thirty years abroad and I had never met the lady before. 

It was obvious that something about me was rubbing her the wrong way and it put her on the defensive.  And with her being the boss, that was a bad combination.

Consequence

She called to inform me ten days later that my request was blocked unless I supplied another document. And that is after her office gave me the run-around. 

I felt angry at the spurious reason she gave me. I therefore coldly informed her that she was free to trash my application because she was getting nothing more from me since the basis she used for the rejection was completely emotional and therefore had no merit.

Lessons learned so far

So what have I learned so far? I like being me and I am different every day. I can be myself and be loved. It is all about me. I have changed and grown immensely. I do not need others approval.

I can handle anything and anyone; I am on track when I thought I was off-track; and I am perfect as I am. Never doubt what I "know". And I had to return to my birthplace of Trinidad and Tobago to sum it all up.

And what do you think dear reader? Do you often ask "why don't others see what I see?" And what's your response? How do you deal with it? I would love to hear from you, as always.

All photos courtesy Wikipedia are in Trinidad and Tobago.

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