Imagine a world free, happy, joyful

Can you imagine a world where everybody was free, happy and joyful, where everybody came from a place of generosity and giving freely without any strings attached? Can you just imagine this world?

It's almost impossible to imagine, it would be such a different place. Well, that's our work. That's what we're here to do. If enough of us can get to that level of consciousness, I believe the whole planet, would be transformed. Zen Master Dennis Genpo Merzel

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Change your Thought, Your Reality must Follow

The Law of Attraction is responding to your thought, not to your current reality. When you change the thought, your reality must follow suit. If things are going well for you, then focusing upon what is happening now will cause the well-being to continue, but if there are things happening now that are not pleasing, you must find a way of taking your attention away from those unwanted things.

You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually… your life experience.

Take 15 minutes daily, thinking of pleasant scenarios regarding your body, with the sole intent of enjoying your body and appreciating its strength and stamina and flexibility and beauty. When you visualize for the joy of visualizing rather than with the intention of correcting some deficiency, your thoughts are more pure and, therefore, more powerful. When you visualize to overcome something that is wrong, your thoughts are diluted with the "lackful" side of the equation. In time, your physical condition will acquiesce to your dominant thoughts.
--- Abraham

Excerpted from the book "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness" #669

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My Personal Sputnik Moment Limned In Clarity

Image by puritani35 via Flickr

A Sputnik Moment is like a sudden meltdown.

I had an epiphany on 2 February 2011 after 3 hours of ruminating in the dark — it occurred at 5h35 that morning and was amazing! I felt I could cry but my eyes were bone dry.

Have you ever had a personal sputnik moment? Judith Rich's  fabulous post Embracing your personal sputnik moments not only gave me the idea for this post but also opened my eyes further to what's been happening in my "innards".

All quotes here are taken from Judith Rich's article.

Personal Sputnik Moments are those large or small events that jar our sense of reality, perhaps ever so slightly, or land like a major earthquake. 

Her article is about us again and our angst and upheavals and the insight we gain when we pay attention. The title says it all and I strongly suggest that you read the entire article.

My sputnik moment — When you strive and struggle to do right, act right and go against your principles and get angry at yourself for doing it, just to keep the peace or you feel sorry for the sufferer, you feel worse.

That is because you are doing everything for the wrong reason and the result can only be negative.

Striving and struggling are dis-empowering actions and only result in negativity until you understand the "why" of it all. Stop reacting. Stop doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That never works and is called insanity.

Sputnik Moments come like surprises that stir things up and force us to reevaluate how we see ourselves and our version of the world.

When you are blind-sided by energy vampires you feel incredibly hurt incredulous that "they" found a chink in your armor.

       Image by puritani35 
Your energy field absorbs that shit by the way and it is amplified by your intense emotional reaction and your face tenses up, even though you say nothing.

That spell of clarity negated most of my anger.

...these kinds of moments are not always harbingers of bad news. Sputnik Moments can come on the heels of good news too.

You have to uncover what you are denying which is encouraging the attacks and root it out! Those false beliefs planted in your subconscious by your parents and who has their finger on the trigger, every single time... you got it, the family.

My resentment over the fact that I seemed unable to obtain a steady job which I liked and also paid me what I desired to enable me to get my own place.

A Sputnik Moment can be the realization of the role you played in the unfolding of events. 

Image by puritani35 via FlickrThat was my weak point and therefore, I was vulnerable and it kept me in re-action mode which enraged me. Vicious cycle is what you fall into when you deceive yourself into thinking, as I did, that I wasn't bothered by the pointed question.

My point here is that my feeling of despair, rage at them and even more rage at my feeling of helplessness and desperation, is what fuelled the fires of venom that kept being spewed in my face.

Sputnik Moments can open our eyes to a deeper reality about who we are and what's really going on. The truth is, there's nobody else out there.

I experienced my personal sputnik moment after waking at 2.00AM and lying there running everything through my mind. That clarity in the dark seemed to cast a halo of light around everything in the dark room!

Stop fighting, work on your low self-esteem and defeatism, accept them for who they are, and recognise that nothing you do or say will ever be enough because they are living who they are. They have no sense of self and just want what they want which is me to be who they choose me to be.
That is ugly and I categorically reject that in all its forms.

I mention this to no one except a little old lady who is in the twilight of her years and currently undergoing treatment for stomach cancer - she didn't make it though - yet she understood and encouraged me to be strong in spite of them!

Image by puritani35 via FlickrMy purpose in sharing this story is to say that we are never attacked unjustly. Even when we do not verbally react, emotionally we do and that is communicated which add fuel to the flame of discontent.

If you have not sorted and dumped the emotional baggage inherited from your birth family, they will always be able to trigger you and you also will end up living and reliving (ugh!) that dysfunction throughout your adult life.

Perhaps our ultimate Sputnik Moment is the realization that we're all in this together, that nobody's going to get out of this alive so we might as well claim our brotherhood and sisterhood and get busy rowing the boat of human kindness, love and compassion. 

Dump your emotional garbage, it is toxic, before it does you in.

I have also accepted, finally, that we really are our brother's keeper, so don't hate. Love instead.

Love Is The Answer whether it be kindness, compassion and so on.

I kid you not, and I am not talking about blindly ignoring what is facing you and turning the other cheek. No, I am talking about holding them closest to you like your best friend.

And that means, establishing boundaries, being firm although some may call you harsh, when they cross the line. Stand your ground. Be who you are discovering yourself to be.

Why hold them close? Because they have something to show you, about yourself. It is impossible to discover who you are all on your own! Some or a lot may be unpalatable but take the medicine anyway.

All quotes are taken from Judith Rich's Embracing you personal sputnik moment.

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5 Simple Moves To Transform Your Body In 4 Weeks

I found these great exercises for us ladies fifty and over to build muscle and bone strength, and tone and tighten, from Barbara Hannah Grufferman's post Aging gracefully: transform your body with 5 simple moves. She also wrote The best of everything after 50.

Barbara says "Just as David Kirsch challenged me, here's my challenge to you: Do these five exercises every day for four weeks, then post a comment on this Aging gracefully article (or connect with me on Facebook) describing your experience. I know that, like me, you will see a major change in your body. And, even more importantly, you will be helping to keep osteoporosis away."

First, a few guidelines:

• Do these every day
• Do them as a circuit (move from one to the other, quickly)
• Have your sneakers on
• Use a yoga mat
• Remember to breathe

It's best if you do three sets (or more) with a 15 second "breather" in between each set. As you progress, trying adding more sets. This entire program will take less than 15 minutes to complete.

Here are the five exercises that will transform your body:

1 — Push-Up:

Nothing symbolizes fitness quite like the simple push-up. It tests your entire body by engaging every part of it -- arms, chest, abdomen, hips and legs.
Image via Wikipedia
Doing them is the easiest, fastest and most effective way to get fit. They are the gold standard. You may need to start with a modified push-up (on your knees), but eventually, you'll build up to the full push-up.

How to do a full push-up: Make your entire body straight, like a plank, with your toes and the balls of your feet on the mat, and hands directly under your chest.

Using your arms, go down to the count of 4, and back up to the count of 4. Do 12-15 reps.

2 — Squat: This is one of David's favorite exercises for working the entire lower body, thighs, hips and butt. The movement is as if you are sitting in a chair.

How to do a squat: Stand with your feet under your hips, shoulder width apart.

Extend arms in front of you, for balance (or hold onto the back of a chair).

To the count of four, slowly bend your knees, with your chest and butt out, stopping once you are almost "sitting in a chair."

It's essential that you push your butt out as much as possible as you're going down, to keep the pressure off your knees. Do 15 reps.

3 — The plié squat:

This version of the squat focuses on the inner thighs, a problem area for many women, especially. 

How to do a plié Squat: Stand with feet wider than hip distance apart.

Turn toes out and heels in.

Slowly bring your body weight back onto your heels as you bend your knees out toward your toes, to the count of 4, and squat down while pushing your butt out.

For both squats, never tuck your tailbone in. That puts too much stress on knees.

4 — The plank: This is an incredibly hard, but Zen-like, position that is one of the most effective exercises you can do, because it works your entire body.

Image via Wikipedia How to do a Plank: Hold your body in a "plank" position, simulating the "up" part of a push-up, but stay there, holding perfectly still, for 30-60 seconds. 

Keep your abs tight and your back flat the entire time (see photo). 

Try to lengthen your whole body, reaching back through your heels and forward through the top of your head. Your heart will be pounding, your arms will be shaking, but try to make it to 60 seconds (or more). 

5 — The sit-up: Our abs are getting a good workout by doing the push-ups and the plank, but it's still smart to spend a little time doing an exercise just for them.

Strong abdominal muscles look good, but they will help maintain good posture and take a lot of the pressure off our backs as we age. David loves the good, old-fashioned sit-up the best.

How to do a Sit-Up: Lie completely flat on your back, hands behind your head, pull your belly button down into the floor, and using your abdominal muscles, pull yourself up, and then lower yourself down.

Exhale as you go up, and inhale going down. Keep your legs and feet flat on the floor, and see if you can do 20 in 60 seconds.

Start with one set every day, and then build up to three sets (or more) with a 15-second "breather" in between each set. Not only will you be strengthening your muscles, but you'll be getting a solid cardio workout, as well.

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7 Practices for a Fresh New Year - Resolving What Really Matters and Opening The Door Within

Chinese character for Love 

The loveliest lady shrink I know, Cara Barker wrote a smashing article Resolving what really matters - 7 practices for a fresh new year. 

I completed this immediately after I read the article  and you know what happened, a door opened somewhere inside me.

Now, I haven't a clue on that means for my future but I am game to get it on. I do believe that is love — respecting the soul's needs. That is what I feel and therefore I have no other choice.

I must pursue this, pull at the end of this string and see where it leads.

Take your time and complete each of the seven points. They will highlight, unbeknowst to you, your accomplishments — when you probably think they were inexistent —and perhaps help you to flesh out your goals...

1 - Recall the gratitude you have for what others have given. (I am grateful for Maria, Georg, Marcos, Omar, Raymond, John, and other "human angels" whom I did not know last year but who have assisted me to embrace new challenges by their example of upbeat, loving service.

I am grateful to those of you who know who you are, who have gone above and beyond to assist me to "learn to walk again" in more ways than one.) Your turn. Make your list.
 2 - Recall the personal challenges that have helped you grow. Find compassion for the simple expressions of good that have come your way. (I am grateful for the encouragement of HuffPost readers, and your compassion as you claim your right to grow together, taking the time for outreach when it's impractical to take your time to do so.) Tell those who've assisted your unfolding.
 
3 - Recall moments of beauty. Beauty comes out of chaos. (I am grateful for the forest outside my window, the pond beside the forest, the hummingbirds at the feeder this December.) Share the memory with someone you love. Ask them theirs.
 
4 - Recall the new people, places and things you discovered that touched you most. (I am grateful for connecting with others who care about what's most important to the heart as we grow together, even while limping!) Write a thank-you notes in three sentences or less, and send them.
 
5. Recall the dreams that have continued to stir your heart, pressing your spirit to express them while you still can. (I remember my gratitude for unfolding clarity on The Love Project, and what must be created to live it out in the rest of my life.) Ask someone you love about their current dream, and share your own.
 
6 - Recall the unexpected moments of encouragement you've found in nature, in the stillness, or in a glance or look from another living creature that have reminded you that connection lives, and that life is richest when appreciating the simple things.
 
7 - Recall one favorite moment from this year that touched you deeply. (I remember my grandbaby touching my cheek, again and again, as she drifted off to sleep, and the awareness that what matters most, at the end of the day, is love.) Thank whomever needs thanking.

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Gratitude Napkins - An Attitude of Gratitude

Gratitude Napkins

Frank’s Diner was once an energized, thriving business, a favorite spot for locals and tourists alike in the scenic New England town of York Beach Maine. But when the economy hit a brick wall, Frank found it more and more difficult to hold onto his trademark, cheerful smile.

One day, Frank caught a glimpse in the mirror on the diner wall of a grumpy, scowling old man with frown lines embedded deeply in the corners of his mouth. He didn’t recognize the man as himself.

Looking around his desolate diner, he knew that it wasn’t just the economy that had driven his customers away – it was his pessimistic attitude toward life. Frank had tried to remain optimistic but it seemed like the hits just kept coming, like a NorEaster pummeling the coastline. He often wondered what there was to look forward to each day.

His eyes met with a booth in the back corner of the diner where a frail elderly woman ate breakfast with a college age girl. Mrs. Sheridan and her caregiver Michelle had been coming in for breakfast every day for a couple of years. Frank would nod and force his face into a smile when they walked in the door each day. They were his best customers after all. Mrs. Sheridan would conclude each meal by scribbling something onto a diner napkin and placing the napkin in her purse with a contented smile.

One sunny fall day, even though the New England leaves painted a breathtaking landscape outside the diner windows, Frank was oblivious to the beauty that surrounded him. He was currently crouched under the counter, grumbling about how the dishwashers were always leaving spots on the coffee mugs. A feeble voice above interrupted his rant.

“Frank, I wonder if I could have a word with you.”

Frank nearly smashed his head on the cash register as he jumped to his feet, looking at Mrs. Sheridan in surprise. Michelle held onto the old woman tight, obviously propping her up. All Frank could do was nod agreeably.

“I wanted to talk to you about these…”

She lifted her trembling arm, pointing toward the frown lines on Frank’s face.

He opened his mouth to say something, to explain, to defend himself… but realized he had nothing to say, so Mrs. Sheridan continued.

“Young man, I learned a long time ago that life doesn’t always go your way. Believe me, I have 90 plus years of my fair share of heartbreaks and challenges that I could easily carry around with me as baggage. Instead, I choose to carry these with me.”

She reached into her purse and took out a stack of the napkins Frank had watched her scribble on every day. She had written things like: autumn leaves, Michelle’s kindness, seashells from the beach, the beautiful sunrise today, another delicious breakfast at Frank’s Diner.

“Frank I would like to challenge you to do the same; to stop carrying around your struggles and start carrying an attitude of gratitude instead.”

After Mrs. Sheridan further described his daily “homework assignment,” Frank didn’t have the heart to refuse her request.

At first he did it to appease her. As she watched from her booth each day, Frank would dutifully take a napkin from a dispenser on the counter, scribble something he was grateful for on it and put it in his pocket. The process was mechanical in the beginning, mindless instead of mindful. But each time Mrs. Sheridan smiled over at him, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.

Frank barely noticed when things began to change, when the words of gratitude he jotted down on the napkin each morning began to sink into his thick, stubborn skull. The attitude of gratitude he had inadvertently adopted through the sheer routine of it, began to truly mean something. That was when Frank’s life began to change…

A little over a month into his daily gratitude homework, Frank once again caught a glimpse of himself in the diner mirror. The reflection in the mirror was of a glowing, joyful man whom he hadn’t seen for years. This man looked forward to each new day with hope and enthusiasm.

Still smiling almost uncontrollably at the realization of how much life had changed, Frank surveyed his now bustling business. Locals, staff, and tourists alike were cheerfully enjoying the revitalized space.

Even though Frank hadn’t made any physical renovations, the diner somehow looked brighter to him. His eyes automatically drifted to the corner, to share in the moment with Mrs. Sheridan. But for the first time in a few days, the booth was empty. Frank’s heart sank…

A couple days later Michelle arrived and placed a box on the counter in front of Frank with a solemn smile, tears glistening in the young woman’s eyes.

“Mrs. Sheridan wanted you to have these.”

Looking at the floor so she couldn’t see his own tearful eyes, Frank simply nodded his appreciation. He felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude wash over him that such a special lady had come into his life, and exactly when he needed her most.

By time the springtime leaves were blooming, Frank’s Diner was more popular than ever in York Beach. There was one new feature in particular that was a huge customer draw. When a diner patron reached for a napkin from a dispenser, they also received a message of gratitude printed on it.

Each message was word for word from Mrs. Sheridan’s collection; along with a few from Frank’s own personal stash.

Beneath the message was the question – “What are you grateful for today?” with a blank line beneath.

Frank would watch from the counter as customers of all ages and from all walks of life eagerly scribbled their answers on napkins, and almost always with a smile.

Mrs. Sheridan’s unwavering attitude of gratitude, it seemed, had transformed not only his own life, but the lives of those around him as well.

What steps will YOU take today and every day to adopt an attitude of gratitude in your life? Will you make the choice to focus on your burdens or your blessings?

It is so easy to feel shortchanged when we focus on lack. But when we practice gratitude as a daily habit, life has a way of transforming positively around us. Whether you use something as simple as a napkin ora journal, when you write down the things you are grateful for each day you’ll be changing your view of the world around you, just one day at a time.

Linda McLean

Linda McLean, an International Best Selling Author and Certified Business and Life Coach, believes in the power of Gratitude and Planning. Living in Reno, Nevada with her husband, 2 daughters and grand dog Palmer, Linda has recently launched her new book “My Gratitude Journal – 7 Minutes Today Leads to an Abundant Life Tomorrow”. It takes readers through a proven daily process of adopting an “attitude of gratitude” to produce big results in life. Please feel free to visit her website at www.McLeanInternational.com or go directly to www.GratitudeJournal.net to view the book.

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How Lives Change When The Student is Ready - Bob Proctor's Story

How Lives Change

The story I am about to share with you may not be relevant to your life. But I can assure you, someone you know can benefit from it.

Read this slowly and then forward it to the individuals you know who feel stuck in life.

After close to fifty years of working in the field of personal development, I am acutely aware there are many people who feel caught in a trap. They're really not sure if or how they could ever spring themselves free.

A person feels stuck when they have no hope. You see hope gives you options. And a person without hope is not able to see any other way to live than what they're doing. And what they're doing is not working.

Today I am fortunate enough to own a company that operates all over the world. I have friends in many different countries. I have a fascinating team of people that work with me. I have great business partners. And believe me when I tell you, life is good.

However, it wasn't always like that. In October of 1961, I was unhappy, I was sick and I was broke. I was earning $4,000 a year and I owed $6,000. I had absolutely no assets. My formal education consisted of two months high school. And I had no business experience and a poor work record. I was 26 years old and I honestly felt like I was trapped.

Life looked to me like a dark tunnel. But then something wonderful happened. I met a man who saw something in me that I was not capable of seeing in myself. He got me to sit down and explain my situation to him. It was fairly obvious I was a lost soul.

Then he asked me what I really wanted. And I didn't know. I couldn't answer him. He made it very clear to me that my entire mental focus was on what I didn't want and why I wasn't capable of doing any better than I was doing. I was totally focused on problems and believe me I was attracting them in abundance.

The man who befriended me was Raymond Douglas Stanford. He was the first of six individuals who coached me over the past fifty years. I can honestly say these people were responsible for leading me into the bright clear light of day.

They helped me recognize that I had tremendous potential, and they assisted me in developing the awareness required to live a constructive, fulfilling life. Ray Stanford also made me aware that the mental prison I had confined myself in had no locks. I was capable of walking out of it at any time I pleased, but I didn't know how.

And I believe there are a lot of people today especially in the economy we are experiencing who may be losing a home or a job, who's attitude has been impacted by what's going on in their world. Many of these people feel there's no answer to their dilemma. They could and probably are doing what I was doing when I met Ray. They're focused on their present situation.

The doom and gloom is filling their mind. And they have to do what Ray taught me to do - clear your mind for a moment. Make believe everything is fine, and think about what you really want. Because that is what Ray did for me. Then he began to explain to me how everyone including me has infinite potential and the difference in people is the choices they make and how they utilize the potential that God gave them.

It's as Steve Bow, who was the Vice President of Metropolitan Life Insurance Company, once said, "God's gift to us is more talent and ability than we'll ever hope to use in our lifetime. Our gift to God is to develop as much of that talent and ability as we can in our lifetime."

Raymond introduced me to Napoleon Hill's book Think and Grow Rich and he spent a lot of time explaining to me what Napoleon Hill had written about.

He explained that the premise that served as the foundation for Napoleon Hill's life's work was the following: "Anything the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve. " Ray made it clear that the operative word in Hill's premise was "believe."

He said everyone's imagination brings beautiful pictures to the screen of a person's mind. However, only a very small percentage of the world's population ever achieves the beauty or the abundance that flows across their mind from time to time. And he said the reason people don't achieve the good that they desire is for the simple reason they don't believe it.

Ray pointed out to me that if you hear anything often enough you will begin to believe it. And when you believe it, you'll achieve it. This is true of good and bad in our life.

Ray explained that if I would read Think and Grow Rich often enough and visit with him frequently to receive the support I required that I could literally turn my dreams into reality. I'll be honest with you, I did not believe him. But I did believe that he believed it. He actually believed that I could do better. And it was his belief in me that moved me on to the right side of the road.

I was prepared to do anything honest to earn some money, and I started to clean offices in my spare time. In less than five years, I had a company that was cleaning offices in Toronto, Montreal, Boston, Cleveland, Atlanta and London, England. My life was changing and it was changing rapidly.

But as Ray pointed out to me, what was really changing was my attitude and my belief about what I was capable of doing. And he made it clear to me that was happening because I was listening to someone that knew more than I did and was eager to help me.

I got so involved in studying Napoleon Hill's work that I was led to Earl Nightingale's condensed narration of Napoleon Hill's book Think and Grow Rich. Now I was reading the book and listening to a long playing record. I was developing a greater awareness. What I was actually doing was getting good advice from people who demonstrated by results they knew what they were doing.

Prior to meeting Ray Stanford I spent all my time talking to and listening to people that didn't know any more than me, people who were living in the same situation I was living in, who sympathized with my negative perception of life and why I couldn't win.

A number of years after Ray introduced me to Napoleon Hill's book Think and Grow Rich and Earl Nightingale's condensed narration of it, I left my own business and went to work with Earl Nightingale and Lloyd Conant of the Nightingale Conant Corporation.

It was then that my progress moved on to a fast track. Earl Nightingale and Lloyd Conant became my two new coaches. It was through them that I was introduced to two other men that had a profound impact on my life - Leland Val Van De Wall and Dr. C. Harry Roder.

These four men taught me more about the mind over the next four or five years than most people would ever learn in an entire lifetime. And it was there and then that I made up my mind I would spend the rest of my life teaching what I had learned to everyone and anyone who had a sincere desire to win, to improve the quality of their life, to live the abundant life which is our birthright.

My basic nature is that I am a quiet, shy, withdrawn individual. There are many people in the world that would not believe that because they only know me as they see me today, but I can assure you 42 years ago, that described me perfectly.

It was then that I met Bill Gove who was considered the Frank Sinatra of public speakers. I watched him speaking on a stage at the O'Hare Hyatt Hotel in Chicago, and I thought "WOW is he ever good."

And I thought if I could do what he does, I could teach what I know to thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people. And I thought "but I can't do that." It was at that very point that a record started to play in my head. It was a record I'd listened to thousands of times. It was a recording called the Magic Word, and it was a record on attitude.

At one point in the recording Earl said "Now right here we come to a strange fact. We tend to minimize the things that we can do, the goals that we can accomplish, and for some equally strange reason we think other people can do things that we cannot."

He said, "I want you to understand that is not true. You have deep reservoirs of talent and ability within you. You're capable of doing anything you desire." As I said, I probably listened to that recording thousands of times. And if you asked me if I understood it, I would have said, of course I do.

But as I watched Bill Gove stand on that stage and through his public speaking ability have that audience in the palm of his hand as I was thinking I wish I could do that but I can't, that record of Earl's started playing in my head and I suddenly realized "That's what Earl means! -- If Bill Gove can do it, I can do it!" And I made a decision there and then that I would not only learn how to speak in public as well as he was speaking, I would have him teach me how to do it, and he did.

He was the sixth coach that I've had. And today I am comfortable on a stage in front of thousands of people sharing this wonderful information that helps anyone understand regardless of their situation there is a way for them to win.

Today I'm living my dream. Through our coaching program we train thousands of people to change their situation and begin living the way they really want. We show individuals how to multiply their income, how to develop meaningful relationships, how to build their companies into global organizations, and we point out it all begins in their own marvelous mind.

I will forever be grateful to the individuals that coached me - that helped me understand we all have tremendous power within us. And life can be wonderful, but we must make it that way. The people I've just written about showed me how to do it. And they made it very clear to me that if I really wanted to be happy in life, that I should spend the rest of my life showing people what they taught me.

Bob Proctor

Bob Proctor was inspired to create his own coaching program in partnership with Carol Gates. They now coach people in 87 different countries. Bob and Carol have a comprehensive program where they work with you every week for 13 months to create life changing results.

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Learn to feed the stories that heal - Rewrite your life story

Ladies, it is possible to write your pain away. Heal yourself with writing from DailyOM  is a gift to those of us who are ready to do just that.

I address the ladies in particular because we feel things deeper and we habitually hide the pain we feel inside. This then is a perfect way of ridding yourself of the poison you're holding on to.

Take your time, read slowly and carefully and then take action by doing it. I have only included the first part of the article and you can go here to read the rest and follow the directions to write your pain away.

Writing about what hurts you inside is extremely cathartic, healing and most importantly, so very liberating, it seems unbelievable that every woman hasn't done this yet.

I have done it so often through these many years and it saved my life. It was suggested to me by my Jungian psychologist - yes, she also interpreted dreams - and I have lived the beneficial results under her care for 12 months during my suicidal depression years ago. And I remember and do it when I feel I'm getting knocked down too many times.

I combine them with other healing techniques  like EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique.

Heal Yourself with Writing


The following is an excerpt from the Heal Yourself with Writing On-Line Course by Catherine Ann Jones.  

I first launched this course at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California as The Power of Story: Healing Trauma Through Writing, and was amazed at the response. During the three-day experiential workshop next to a restless Pacific, participants who had spent years in traditional therapy with little result had actually healed a split within themselves.

One woman who was very successful in Silicon Valley had been sexually assaulted by her brother and his friend when she was only fifteen. Now thirty-four, she continued to feel split, separated from herself. After the Esalen Institute workshop, she wrote to me that she had returned to herself for the first time since the trauma experienced at age fifteen.

What had occurred in this short period of time to achieve such a life-changing result? One thing was crystal clear. I was not the cause - only the catalyst. She had chosen to do the inner work necessary to heal the split within, and she had done this through specific writing exercises combined with courage and a deep resolve to change.

We all know the value of psychology in uncovering our deepest feelings and the importance of catharsis in temporarily releasing our pain. Yet while psychological techniques may help prepare us for the journey of healing, they often are not enough to lead us through the deeper way of transformation.

Healing without transformation risks re-living negative patterns over and over -sometimes even reinforcing them by repetition -, rather than truly putting them behind us.

What psychology does well is help us understand how we feel. What psychology doesn't always do is provide the way through.  

Einstein once remarked that significant problems cannot be solved at the same level of the thinking which created them. Only by rising to a higher or deeper level can an ultimate solution to psychological problems be found.

Our lives may be determined less by past events than by the way we remember them. Memory can be either disabling or enabling.

Dr. Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor and author of Man's Search for Meaning wrote that "…everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

What we think or imagine in fact is our reality, both individually and collectively. Healing and transformation is possible only through changing one's perspective from within. It is by making meaning out of memory that true healing and empowerment can occur.

What story are you living? How do you choose to remember your story? The following allegory offers a clue.

Two Wolves: A Native American grandfather is talking to his grandson about how he feels about a tragedy in their village.

"I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asks, "Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather places his hand on his heart and replies, "The one I feed."

How do we learn to "feed" the stories that heal?

How do we put together the pieces of the past? How can we rewrite our life story so that pain becomes meaningful and actually promotes growth and transformation?

One answer lies in focused journaling. This course offers a step by step journey of discovery and re-visioning through focused journaling. Throughout this course, the reader will be presented with writing exercises designed to facilitate healing and transformation. In this way, global healing takes place one individual, one tribe, at a time.

Negative patterns sometimes evolve for a reason. A child growing up in an alcoholic and/or abusive environment may create a wall around him or her for protection. Such defensive methods may actually ensure surviving emotionally and physically through challenging and threatening times in our lives.

Years pass, however, and though now safe, these walls and other defensive mechanisms may sabotage our personal and professional lives. The wall is no longer needed yet it remains. It has become habitual.

The first step is to become aware of what we have built around us. What stories we continue to tell ourselves to fortify the wall. Stories from the past live on in us long after the cause or effect is gone. 

Here's one small example. I recently taught a workshop at Esalen in Big Sur, CA.

A woman had broken up with a man who also happened to be taking the workshop at the same time. Sitting in the circle with this former lover made the woman increasingly uncomfortable. And though she had looked forward to taking the workshop, she now felt unable to focus.

I spoke with her privately for a few minutes then asked if she could for a moment separate the perception of the man from the inner story she was telling and re-telling within.

She closed her eyes and was able to discriminate between seeing him and listening to the story she was keeping alive within herself. I asked her, "So who is telling the story?" She laughed, took a deep breath, and was able to release the old track from her mind – at least enough to return and focus on the remaining days of the workshop.

This is not to say that her work was done in this moment, but she had acquired a new tool in lessening the trauma she had experienced from the break up with her partner. With a small shift in perspective, she had gained an insight into a deeper self enabling her to step back and witness a life event that had stalled her moving forward into a new life.

So what exactly happened here? A woman felt powerless because she was unable to let go of a story she was holding onto which made her a victim. Even though she no longer saw this man, her former lover, she carried him within, and over and over again inside was keeping this version of the story alive.

Thus, in doing so, she made herself more and more powerless. All she did now was to step back and take responsibility for the story she was telling and re-telling. She could see herself as separate from what she was doing. She became a witness to her own creation of her daily life.

Please, ladies, follow the exercises provided by Catherine Ann Jones and watch your world change and your life turn around.

You are worth it!

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THOUGHT FOR TODAY - Feeling A Sense of Accomplishment

Image by cblackmor

Even when our routine duties tax or tire us, they can still provide us with a sense of normalcy that grounds us in the moment and reminds us of who we are trying to become. When we apply ourselves diligently to the tasks required of us, we gain more from them than simple stability. 

We feel productive and proud of ourselves when we have accomplished something, even a goal as minor as completing the day's work. This gives us a sense of confidence that bolsters our spirits when we later embark upon more complex journeys of achievement. We feel good about ourselves knowing that we are capable of focusing on a single task and seeing it through to its natural conclusion. 

Your dedication will serve you well as you address each item on your agenda with care and thoroughness. —DailyOM

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Embrace Your Truth - Be Authentic and Live it With Gusto

Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life.

Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.

Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. Steve Jobs

Living an authentic life and embracing truth does not mean telling everyone everything that is on your mind - that is just dumb as there is no reason to antagonise people needlessly by telling them what they do not want to hear.

It means living your beliefs everyday; it means being honest with yourself; it means keeping your word to yourself and others; it means embracing who you are in your totality, the beautiful and the warts.

When you do not honour your word, live what you believe, and say what you think, you lack integrity and that makes you a liar. That sounds harsh but we are all in this together; integrity and honesty go hand in hand.

Here is an everyday example: how do you feel when you leave a meeting, conversation or gathering wanting to kick yourself in the behind because you did not say what you wanted to because... in those moments you do not like yourself very much and the memory of those times lingers, until the next time.

Time to change that habit.

So, am I an honest person? Would you believe I used to say 'no' I felt embarrassed to admit that I was?! That does not mean that I will always be truthful about everything to everyone. Some things must be kept private but I will continue to speak my truth as uncomfortable as it makes me feel at times.

I am a work in progress.

Have you ever lied and the memory stuck with you years later? That happened to me on three memorable occasions and the last time was in 2009 when I did not keep my word. I felt two inches tall and that memory is indelibly etched in my brain.

Plus, lying makes me feel too uncomfortable and it is such a waste of time and energy as well, so why bother.

Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself. James Allen

Considering someone else's feelings is not a factor when I have something to say. I will not deliberately bruise someone's feelings but I have to express how I feel and what I see.

Whether it is accepted or not is irrelevant and if the person feels hurt, it is really how they receive the message that hurts them. Do remember that you cannot hurt anyone's feelings nor are you responsible for how they feel. Children excepted of course.

However, I am not one of those idiots who believe they have to say everything just because... silence is golden at times.

Do you believe that you are an honest person?

When you are being yourself sometimes you feel uncomfortable because you stand out when you stand up and not many people are at ease in those circumstances. We lie about: "honey, do you like this dress?"; the classic "Does my butt look big in this?"; "Are you okay"; "Any problems with this...?" and it goes on ad nauseum.

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. Einstein

Gandhi said Whenever you have truth it must be given with love or the message and the messenger will be rejected. That is because most of us tend to react defensively when we hear true talk from someone; it is not the norm in any society, and unfortunately most tend to use it as a blade to "get back" at someone who has hurt them, and so the crap continues.


I have learnt that you can speak your truth without belittling anyone. 

All of us are responsible for the way they feel and thus react; it has nothing to do with you and you can only make them feel comfortable by lying. There is nothing wrong with being honest!

Your security in life depends entirely on your recognition of your divine nature. Udel S. Andersen

Blaming someone else for anything that happens in your life is a lie on a grand scale.

My personal motto is "Don't ask me if you don't want to know" and that is the kicker here: honesty is the best policy and truth is personal because none of us have a lock on it. When we speak truth it is our truth. Linda Elinor says it best:

What you perceive, your observations, feelings, interpretations, are all your truth. Your truth is important. Yet it is not The Truth.

Speaking truth builds you in tremendous ways; it buoys you up, it lights up your path enabling you to clearly see the boulders, crevasses, pitfalls, pebbles etc. so that when you inadvertently fall, and you will, you pick yourself up if you know what's good for you with "Oops, my bad" and move on.

You give away your power when you lie to yourself thus refusing to accept responsibility for your actions.

It is irrelevant how a situation evolved.

The bottom line is that YOU gave away your power to someone else whether it was in a relationship (make me happy); at work (lack of responsibility); on a contract (you signed it without reading it); verbally (you wanted to believe what you heard); in a store (you did not ask questions); buying stocks (you pretended you understood); a medical procedure (you did not get a 3rd or 4th opinion), and so on.

This was all your responsibility (and mine).

Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions. James Allen

I had my power taken away very early in life. The pattern was set then and I ended up giving it away everytime I felt the crunch because I knew no better.

I learnt the hard way that it opened the door to all forms of abuse. We humans  love our self-destructive habits despite what we have learnt. We are happy being unhappy because that crap was recorded in our psyche in our growing up years.

We mightily resist change and become our own victims when disaster strikes because we ignore the persistent feeling that something is awry. It usually turns out that we were correct (but we took no action) then gleefully point accusing fingers "See, I knew it".

What is wrong with this picture?

It is time to get real people!

If you cannot or will not allow yourself to act as you feel comfortable being - okay, don't go out in public naked, people will think you are definitely nutz and call the cops -  then you are doing yourself an injustice and will continue to be unhappy and feel dissatisfied and the self-abuse will continue.

Embracing your truth is not for the fainthearted. It is a self-learning app and you are going to pat your damn self on the back every time you step out of fear and do what you are afraid of or unaccustomed doing.

Live each day with gusto and savor it!

All life is a chance. So take it! The person who goes furthest is the one who is willing to do and dare. Dale Carnegie

 

Follow up reading:

The well in the garden of the soul - William Horden, superb visualisation techniques

How bold is your creative expression? Time to find your mojo, Cara Barker - be you without shame or apology

Soul Talk: Acceptance - How to expand in the face of your fears, Russell Bishop

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Choose better feeling thoughts...now

The old year is coming to a close folks and I'm posting a suggestion from Abraham-Hicks about choosing better feeling thoughts to not only feel better but have a more optimistic, positive and hopeful vibe to begin a new life and take that into the new year.

By choosing better-feeling thoughts and by speaking more of what you do want and less of what you do not want, you will gently tune yourself to the vibrational frequency of your Broader Perspective.

To see your world through the eyes of Source is truly the most spectacular view of life, for from that vibrational vantage point, you are in alignment with—and therefore in the process of attracting—only what you would consider to be the very best of your world.

Abraham

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How bullet-proof is your bubble of beliefs?

Dr Judith Rich's It ain't necessarily so: How bulletproof is your bubble of beliefs? is a commentary about the Republican party's reaction after their defeat in the Presidential Election 2012.

She then discusses the manner in which we delude ourselves, lie to ourselves, to avoid dealing with our own life challenges.

Basically, it's so much easier to let sleeping dogs lie.

She is such an insightful person that the entire article is a must read. She asks us to use the 7 questions to pierce our own bubbles of illusions and gain insight into our psyche and free ourselves from mental bondage, as I call it.

Empower yourself to change and be a better you!

Because of the magnitude of their impact, last week's election results are a perfect opportunity for each of us to see ourselves in the faces of those who never saw it coming and ask ourselves the following questions:

1. Where in my own life have I been falsely certain of an outcome that later turned out not to be even remotely so?

2. What was I pretending not to know at the time?

3. What inconvenient truth about myself, or the situation, was I avoiding?

4. What was I unwilling or too afraid to look at in myself?

5. How do I avoid taking responsibility when life delivers such a surprise? Who do I blame? What justifications do I use?

6. What evidence did I reject in order to be right about my beliefs? Who did I make wrong?

7. Who can I count on to pierce through my bubble and confront me with the truth when I least want to hear it?

It's human nature to create beliefs and then to defend them. Sometimes at all costs. But if you are ever to live a meaningful life, one based on a somewhat realistic view of the world in which you live, it pays to surround yourself with people who will call you on your... well, let's just call them "fantasies."

We need people in our lives who care enough about us to risk telling the truth, especially when doing so might jeopardize the relationship. This is a delicate skill to acquire. It takes a great deal of honesty and trust to develop this kind of relationship because very often, the relationship itself can indeed, be at stake. Or at least appear to be.

Our bubble of beliefs would benefit from regular audits.

Do a merciless inventory at regular intervals. Ask yourself questions 1-7 and see how you stack up. You may not have a presidential election at stake in your own life, but something even more important is on the line: your future.

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The Possibility of Redemption in You - Decide to forgive for your own sake

Temple-in-the-Sea flags, Waterloo, Trinidad

A lot of us do crazy shit sometimes and are hurtful and deliberately cruel to others for no other reason than we can. We gotta let it out - it is too strong to hold inside.

No one is beyond redemption. Everyone has a bright spark within. No person is 100 percent bad or 100 percent good although that may be difficult for many to accept, and usually only certain people can discern this. No, I am not saying let the serial killers, murderers and the like out of prison nor am I saying let's have a love fest.

For instance, there is a drug dealer in my neighbourhood who I found out paid two homeless men to clear away a little mountain of garbage and clean up the area after the non-renewal of the sanitation company's contract.

It was a thoughtful act but it still does not negate the fact that he deals death whenever he sells his product. So yeah, I still think he's a shite.

However, can I honestly say that my opinion has not shifted just a little bit? No, I can't.

When people hurt you, badly, you remember it. The deeper the pain the more significant the trauma felt and the longer you hold onto it. It festers, creates emotional sores which never scabs over because you keep picking at it.

You need to understand that the pain and rage become trusted partners over time as you keep re-living the event. If there were any pleasant memories associated with your abuser, they become over-shadowed and eventually obliterated by your feelings of animosity.

The first step to redemption is to stop drinking other people's poison. That is what hate is as said so eloquently by Nelson Mandela.

The day will come when you must decide to take a stand for our own sake and say stop, I can't take this anymore!

Either you face down the person, get professional help to deal with your feelings or find a non-invasive technique that works for you - to relieve the pain.

Hate makes you feel strong and invincible but a little piece of yourself dies every day the longer you live the past event or remain in the unbearable relationship, even though it may be only in your mind.

You see, the brain cannot differentiate between what you imagine and what is real. The more powerful the emotion, the more "live" and focussed the thought/imagination.

Decide right now to forgive for your own sake. Regardless of your experiences, you are not doing one damn thing to your abuser be they past or present.

Observe them honestly. Find something, just one little thing, which by the way could be their only redeeming quality, like a spark in the dark that lifts them out of the murky depths.

In times like these, do Byron Katie's The Work on your situation. The amazing clarity and wisdom you find in yourself (be very truthful) encourages you to go further. I posted Don't ever lose faith in yourself after my experiences.

Work at it and remember to love yourself. Whether you accept this or not, you come first. You are useless to yourself and anyone else without self-compassion.

There are many other effective and non-invasive techniques, some of which I talk about in Take the next turn into your new life. That is just a starter so go ahead and take charge, empower yourself.

You allowed your past to define you and because of that you remained trapped in limbo, surrounded by hate, shame, guilt, rage and fear. That is an explosive cocktail and a terrible burden to bear and it eventually destroys you.

When you decide to let go, more light than darkness will permeate your world. Tell yourself each day that you are worth it and know that regardless of what you have done in the past or what has been perpetrated upon you in the past, it is just that, the past.

It is what you are yet to achieve that counts. The future is not yet written; your actions determine that and it is certainly not etched in stone!

The possibility of redemption is in you!

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