Satisfying My Real Hunger for Solace - Silence, Music, Breathwork and Nature

Image by simsbury119

I had another epiphany this morning then ended up listening to a channelled meditation and interestingly enough, it was about abundance.

My emotional disarray

When I feel I am in an emotional disarray as I call it, I eat more than I normally do then beat myself up saying shite like I should stop spending money on food I do not need and cannot afford to waste cash like that.

Now, I normally eat once or twice a day (and don't get any ideas that I'm slim and trim - I'm not - my body is just not as fat as it used to be) so when I find myself eating three meals a day it is too much for me and it makes me feel heavier than my extra nine kilos (20 pounds) - that bugs the hell out of me.

Of course, the emotional eating is always linked to my unfulfilled desires, frustration and low funds. It all spells lack of abundance thinking and results in a low cash flow. That is a significant aha! moment right there people!

Excess eating cannot fill the void

Another aha! moment occurred when I realised that I believed that it was because of my lack of cash that I should not be spending i.e. wasting money on food I do not need being fully aware that the excess eating could not fill the void (hunger) that I felt.

I never saw until that moment that my emotional eating and low cash flow always occurred together. Better said would be my fuckuptedness makes me look at the money I have and think it is not enough and as you know, when a thought like that takes hold it results in exactly what you believe to be true!

Only silence, sometimes music and breathing in and out while surrounded by nature stills the noise and satisfies my hunger for solace. That is when I understand the damage I am doing to myself and it stop. Nice eh.

Poverty consciousness

Like most adults, I inherited my poverty consciousness and fear of not having enough money to take care of myself from my mother and those around her because of course, she attracted people with the same vibrational energy as her own.

Image by billydl via Flickr

I have been battling this disturbing feeling for years because I knew it was not normal for me until I understood one day that I needed to grasp the "why" of it in order to untangle myself from its coils because any thing you fight usually wins. Please remember this.

I began the process - can't say when exactly - and it is a work in progress. This is the latest piece of the puzzle.

It is not about the money!

Anyway, this piece slotted itself into place when I realised with great shock that the money I was spending on  meals - always healthy which is a huge change for me - was never the issue. How the hell could I have missed that... but I did.

I know this may seem obvious to some but when you are living it you do not see the trees anymore because you are in the forest and thus the self-flagellation continues.

Anyway, my favourite 'Professor' Bob Proctor said in one of his books, it is not about the money and he was right; it has never been about the money.

Money is only incidental to what I am living now. The issue is lack of abundance thinking which results in no money.

The sticky maze

I have been suffering the fires of the damned because I hate feeling that my life is out of control, that what I want is unattainable and I cannot seem to find my way out of this sticky maze.

Either I decide to allow my vibrational escrow to manifest itself or I live paycheck to paycheck continually underpaid due to the economic climate. In other words, I need the job but I got to be me, real as real can be an most people do not like or appreciate that but what the hell.

Since this is so glaring, how come I did not see it till this morning. I guess I was ready...

Enough with the sturm und drang

After living through two nights of stinging wasp attacks (in dreams) and a mosquito invasion under the covers (not a bite next morning) and sweating bullets like a horse on wonderfully cool nights, it was time to stop the crap. I let go.

You have to take a step back, be honest with yourself and observe instead of participating in the constant sturm und drang (storm and stress) that we inflict upon ourselves.

And that is how I ended up taking some quiet time out with some trees at my back and listening to some wonderful channelled music.