The number one topic our customers ask us about is forgiveness. We get hundreds of calls to our office and hundreds of comments on our social media pages each day from people who want more advice on how to forgive—their families, friends, partners, coworkers or just themselves.
It was in early 2000. I certainly heard about Iyanla for many years, but didn't get the chance to meet her until I talked to our attorney.
Ken, who was also Iyanla's attorney, had some insight about Hay House and Iyanla working together, so he arranged for us to meet. After a brief meeting in Los Angeles, I was very moved by the ideas that Iyanla had. So I flew to DC to find out more.
I had dinner with Iyanla and her daughter Gemmia in Georgetown. I remember that evening so clearly. I loved every minute of the time and conversation we shared.
Iyanla and her daughter were amazing. When I saw how passionate they were about helping others to heal and grow, I knew we shared a similar vision. We kept in touch after that, with more ideas on how to bring Iyanla's message to Hay House.
Then the unthinkable happened. Gemmia was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. And on Christmas morning the following year, Iyanla hugged her daughter for the last time.
As a parent, I couldn't imagine the painful journey Iyanla now faced. I remember some of the words she wrote at that time: "My daughter wasn't the only one who died that day." Iyanla named her family, her marriage, her ministry, her faith in God, her purpose and so many other things among the fatalities. "Most important of all, when my best friend, my middle child, took her last breath, my sense of self died along with her. I was a woman whose dance card was suddenly filled with death and whose heart has shattered into a million pieces."
But somehow, she turned around and did the unthinkable. Iyanla dug deep, learned how to see beyond her wounds and pick up the pieces. Somehow Iyanla found forgiveness and peace—even after all she had been through.
Iyanla is a great teacher. She tells it like it is. She lets us know how we get caught up in our stuff, how we get stuck in our relationships and our drama of what other people have done to us. She says we're too quick to judge and too slow to forgive. But what I love about Iyanla and her new book is how she gives us a plan to put into action: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything.
As Iyanla says: "You cannot unhear what you have heard. You cannot unsee what you have seen. What you can do, however, is stop wishing that whatever happened in the past hadn't happened."
And she ought to know.
Reid Tracy , Hay House (Present Moments)
What I have learned during my 30-year sojourn through the science of personal and spiritual growth and healing is that forgiveness will cure whatever ails you. The other thing I am totally convinced of is that while forgiveness ain't easy, it's the most important inner work you can do within your mind and heart.
Most of us were never taught that any experience that comes into your life comes by energetic invitation. For this reason, it is imperative that you learn how to keep your energy clear. The practice of forgiveness is your ticket to clarity, vitality, and freedom.
Over the years, I have received hundreds of thousands of letters written by people from all walks of life. Many reveal excruciating stories of sorrow and suffering. At one time, I would write long responses, offering condolences and possible explanations for the tragedies people had endured.
Then my daughter passed away, and I was inconsolable. I ended a 40-year relationship, and I was enraged. I was forced to move out of my dream home, and I was ashamed and degraded.
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| Source: Islamzpeace files |
If you know anything about my life story, you know that I have been to some very dark places. Through every experience of my "life breakdown," the only thing that made me feel as if I was still in possession of my right mind, with the capacity to make it through the darkness, was forgiveness.
Even when I didn't know whom to forgive or why I should forgive, I said the words. I wrote them in my journal. I cried and screamed, pouted and sometimes I even stomped my feet in resistance, but in the end I learned to forgive everyone for everything, including myself. In the process, I discovered something extraordinary. I discovered peace.
My new book Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything is my loving challenge for you to come out of the darkness and into the light. In it, I share my practice that will help you to clear the decks of your mind and heart to create the space necessary for you to live with more love for yourself and others.
1- Still Your Mind — Begin your day by stilling your mind for at least 5 minutes. You can also listen to one of your favorite meditations.
2- Begin a Forgiveness Journal — Get yourself a Forgiveness Journal and a special pen and start writing. Give yourself permission to be radically honest with yourself about yourself. Write your most heartfelt thought or memory to access your innermost thoughts and beliefs.
3- Read a Forgiveness Prayer — Read a Forgiveness prayer twice a day—once silently and once aloud. Hearing this prayer will align you with the Holy Spirit, as it is the presence of the Creator that responds to our slightest request. Here is a sample of a Forgiveness prayer from my book:
Dear God:I let it be! And so it is!
Today, I ask for and open myself to receive a new image of myself. I recognize that in Your eyes, I am perfect as I am. I understand that if there is anything about my body that I choose to change, You have empowered me to do so. I have the power of free will. I have the power of choice. Today, I am choosing to change how I see myself, change how I speak to myself, change how I present myself to the world. I am choosing to see myself as You see me. I am choosing to surrender, release, and heal all negative, toxic, unloving thoughts about my body and to accept myself as Your beautiful creation. I ask, if there is anything within me that is not pleasing to You, that it be lifted. I ask that all habitual, unconscious thoughts, beliefs, and memories about my body be brought into alignment with Your thoughts, beliefs, and plans for me. I ask for the strength and courage to make any changes that are required so that I will accept myself, honor myself, and love myself as You do.
4- Relax and Restore — Listen to my Gratitude Meditation that I have included here. This meditation will help to restore your mind and heart to balance.
5- Be Sure To Do something good for yourself today!
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