My Personal Sputnik Moment Limned In Clarity

Image by puritani35 via Flickr

A Sputnik Moment is like a sudden meltdown.

I had an epiphany on 2 February 2011 after 3 hours of ruminating in the dark — it occurred at 5h35 that morning and was amazing! I felt I could cry but my eyes were bone dry.

Have you ever had a personal sputnik moment? Judith Rich's  fabulous post Embracing your personal sputnik moments not only gave me the idea for this post but also opened my eyes further to what's been happening in my "innards".

All quotes here are taken from Judith Rich's article.

Personal Sputnik Moments are those large or small events that jar our sense of reality, perhaps ever so slightly, or land like a major earthquake. 

Her article is about us again and our angst and upheavals and the insight we gain when we pay attention. The title says it all and I strongly suggest that you read the entire article.

My sputnik moment — When you strive and struggle to do right, act right and go against your principles and get angry at yourself for doing it, just to keep the peace or you feel sorry for the sufferer, you feel worse.

That is because you are doing everything for the wrong reason and the result can only be negative.

Striving and struggling are dis-empowering actions and only result in negativity until you understand the "why" of it all. Stop reacting. Stop doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That never works and is called insanity.

Sputnik Moments come like surprises that stir things up and force us to reevaluate how we see ourselves and our version of the world.

When you are blind-sided by energy vampires you feel incredibly hurt incredulous that "they" found a chink in your armor.

       Image by puritani35 
Your energy field absorbs that shit by the way and it is amplified by your intense emotional reaction and your face tenses up, even though you say nothing.

That spell of clarity negated most of my anger.

...these kinds of moments are not always harbingers of bad news. Sputnik Moments can come on the heels of good news too.

You have to uncover what you are denying which is encouraging the attacks and root it out! Those false beliefs planted in your subconscious by your parents and who has their finger on the trigger, every single time... you got it, the family.

My resentment over the fact that I seemed unable to obtain a steady job which I liked and also paid me what I desired to enable me to get my own place.

A Sputnik Moment can be the realization of the role you played in the unfolding of events. 

Image by puritani35 via FlickrThat was my weak point and therefore, I was vulnerable and it kept me in re-action mode which enraged me. Vicious cycle is what you fall into when you deceive yourself into thinking, as I did, that I wasn't bothered by the pointed question.

My point here is that my feeling of despair, rage at them and even more rage at my feeling of helplessness and desperation, is what fuelled the fires of venom that kept being spewed in my face.

Sputnik Moments can open our eyes to a deeper reality about who we are and what's really going on. The truth is, there's nobody else out there.

I experienced my personal sputnik moment after waking at 2.00AM and lying there running everything through my mind. That clarity in the dark seemed to cast a halo of light around everything in the dark room!

Stop fighting, work on your low self-esteem and defeatism, accept them for who they are, and recognise that nothing you do or say will ever be enough because they are living who they are. They have no sense of self and just want what they want which is me to be who they choose me to be.
That is ugly and I categorically reject that in all its forms.

I mention this to no one except a little old lady who is in the twilight of her years and currently undergoing treatment for stomach cancer - she didn't make it though - yet she understood and encouraged me to be strong in spite of them!

Image by puritani35 via FlickrMy purpose in sharing this story is to say that we are never attacked unjustly. Even when we do not verbally react, emotionally we do and that is communicated which add fuel to the flame of discontent.

If you have not sorted and dumped the emotional baggage inherited from your birth family, they will always be able to trigger you and you also will end up living and reliving (ugh!) that dysfunction throughout your adult life.

Perhaps our ultimate Sputnik Moment is the realization that we're all in this together, that nobody's going to get out of this alive so we might as well claim our brotherhood and sisterhood and get busy rowing the boat of human kindness, love and compassion. 

Dump your emotional garbage, it is toxic, before it does you in.

I have also accepted, finally, that we really are our brother's keeper, so don't hate. Love instead.

Love Is The Answer whether it be kindness, compassion and so on.

I kid you not, and I am not talking about blindly ignoring what is facing you and turning the other cheek. No, I am talking about holding them closest to you like your best friend.

And that means, establishing boundaries, being firm although some may call you harsh, when they cross the line. Stand your ground. Be who you are discovering yourself to be.

Why hold them close? Because they have something to show you, about yourself. It is impossible to discover who you are all on your own! Some or a lot may be unpalatable but take the medicine anyway.

All quotes are taken from Judith Rich's Embracing you personal sputnik moment.