Love Letter to One Who Dares

Love letter from one who dares by Dr Cara Barker is a must read. This woman is boss... In her article she has paved the way for us with 9 steps to self-fulfillment and self-discovery (read the entire article Cultivating self affection during tricky times). It resounds, is profound and right in line with what I am living right now. She has taken time off to go renew herself by practising these 9 steps.

Here's a brief look at the 9 steps she proposes to One Who Dares:

1- Give up self-blame. There will be many willing to crucify you if you decide to dissolve your old way of life, if not with nails, then at least with words and judgment.

2- Find a garden. If not literally, then do so symbolically. We each need a space

3- Be prepared to stand your ground when you feel betrayed, by those you thought would understand, support, protect. Most especially, be prepared for your monkey mind to oppose your grand plan.

4- Throw a party. Once you have dissolved your beliefs about why you dare not shine as you really are, why you dare not cultivate affection for yourself, invite a few over for your "last supper," that is, a time of celebration to acknowledge what you appreciate in your loved ones who stand by you, when you are poised for a new leap of faith.

5- Surrender what is dying in your life. Release the old husk of life you've been living, those behaviors and relationships that deplete that are just too much darn work-intensive, those "puppies" where you are doing all the heavy lifting.

6- Forgive all that depletes life. Include in this relationships that are deadening, beliefs about yourself or others that rob you of joy, vitality. Make a list of them and address them one by one.
7- Be prepared to wait in the dark. Throw away your watch. Go into your cave. You will know when the time comes to return to new life. One way to go to the cave is through spiritual practice: meditation, the expressive arts, and prayer, a walk in the park or nature, a literal retreat. Do this every day and watch what happens.

8- During this process, do whatever you can to cultivate self-affection. I capitalize "self," because we are referring to your sacred self, the center point of soul as psyche. These days, we are enjoined to forgive others, and even self. But, there is a vast difference between forgiveness and cultivating self-affection.

9- Leave no forwarding address. How can you? If we don't know where our process is leading, best not to restrict life's flow. Yes, this is risky. But, isn't life fully lived risky? Likewise, choosing to opt out of life, and leaps of faith, carries its own toll, one I'd rather not pay. We are here now. Why not live now? Why not love the whole of who we are, this life we live, with all we've got, and be about the adventure? There are endless iterations of who we are, of the way sacred self-expresses. Ours is to get introduced, to come into loving relationship with the all, and celebrate this grand and glorious life, regardless the bumps along the road. (complete text)

Suppose the beloved - YOU - had a message for you today that went like this.

Love letter to One Who Dares

Stop being so hard on yourself! Yes, you. I am talking to you. Stop being so unfair to you. Give yourself permission to step back, to witness, and to find awe for which you are that has been hiding.

Your planet is on a collision course. Everywhere you look, notice the rushing here and there, the disconnection with human beings, with life in all its forms, the epidemic of loneliness and secret pain, the side-talk of he said/she said, the gossip, the blame, the suffering, the fear undergirding the mess.

Surely this is not living. Surely this is not the "more" you have been seeking. Search between the cracks and crevices of your schedule, your plan, and your previous agreements with yourself. How much room is there for you to appreciate your heartbeat in this present breath? How much space are you willing to give yourself to simply "be"? How much "skin" are you willing to put in the game to discover the magnificence awaiting to arise through your life?

How rare to find those who sit quietly, or hilariously, with one another, meeting in the moment, content to be together in the moment, without distraction, cell phones, screens, excesses of any kind. How rare and precious to participate in unanticipated love without strings.

How much space are you willing to give yourself to simply "be"? How much "skin" are you willing to put in the game to discover the magnificence awaiting to arise through your life?

Know this. I wish you fresh, gentle breezes. I wish you that special joy that comes from letting go. I wish you gold, finding it in hidden places, such as the daffodil in all her glory. I wish you life: the resurrection of who you were called here to become. I wish you fertility of self-expression, that sort which inspires you to new heights, from your innermost depths. I wish you peace, sweet dreams, and glorious sunrises to bless you on your way. I wish for you an age of inspired realism as you reclaim your original way on this earth, your wonder, and your mark upon the path that we might celebrate together.

Consider: If you took to heart the meaning of this letter, what might shift for you today? What is time to dissolve in your own thinking which limits you? Be brave, my friend, be brave. You have the right stuff in you, regardless what you have believed up to now in private moments of self-doubt. 

Consider: If you took to heart the meaning of this letter, what might shift for you today? What is time to dissolve in your own thinking which limits you? Be brave, my friend, be brave. You have the right stuff in you, regardless what you have believed up to now in private moments of self-doubt.

Be the Love You are,

Cara