Religion, Reactions and Skewed Beliefs

I never believed that god existed until my 40s. For me, it was an artificial creation and in many ways still is, like the Tin Man in Wizard of Oz - moving stiffly around the stage.

This came to mind when I read a statement attributed to Pope Francis about the clergy betraying god in a local daily and I thought "Religion is an entity that should be abolished - not outlawed for obvious reasons - but gradually stifled over time."
Religion's very existence creates too much discord and gives rise to anger, hate and murderous acts all in the name of somebody's god; I just do not understand that. If this is the One God to whom people around the world constantly offer prayers and praise how then can they not only sanction but commit murderous acts in their god's name?

This is something I have never understood and the bloodshed has been going on for centuries, and that's what I mean by my statement to stifle it until it inevitably dies.

However, I know now at 54 that God is and since I never knew my father, this energetic entity and I have become close and he's now my spiritual father. I suspect he's the only one I will ever know.

As you can probably tell, I am not religious despite attempts by my mother to brainwash me from the time I was 6 years old into Roman Catholicism. She tried them all over the many years I have known her and ended up staying with the Baptist faith.

As a typical observant kid I kept asking questions about the bible stories I was told to read - I was a reader from early - but never received answers and when I did get a response, they were contradicted by the actions of the adults around me.

By age 8 or 9 I understood that what the "big people" said about what was in the "church book" was a lie and even that young, already, I never did anything that didn't make sense to me and that went for explanations as well.

Hence the reason for all the brutal beatings I suffered through.

I have the same attitude today and told my bewildered mother then that nobody who came to mass on Sundays paid any attention to what the priests was saying, and if all adults believed those bible stories how come they were ignoring him.

Of course, no sensible explanation was forthcoming and that was when I decided and informed the dear woman that I would no longer be attending Sunday School (for kis) or the mass.

She ignored what I said and woke me as usual the following week and I reminded her of my decision, I am not going there anymore.

When it was time for Confirmation, dressed in my best I was and accompanied to the ceremony by my dearly beloved grandmother, Mama Rita and my mother to the ceremony. 

We dutifully lined up and when I go to the front, this white man wassitting in his chair in white finery and a tall hat and be told that I had to genuflect and bend down and kiss his ring as he was God's representative on earth, I balked but eventually bowed over that hand and left.

You see, I knew with blinding clarity that has stayed with me to this day that that could never be, no way no how and I bow to no man regardless of who he says he is and that priest was no bloody way higher or bigger than me.

He wasa man, period!

My feelings of revulsion was so overwhelming that to this day I don't remember anything that happened after the ceremony or for the rest of that day nor do I have any idea about what happened to the pretty dress and shoes.

I ended up in a sort of no-man's land for want of a better description. I do remember that I flung away the chapelet as if it was poisoned right there on the grounds.


Because of my experiences as an unloved child and the abuse I endured - I didn't know that what it was then - well into my early 20s, I will never accept anyone's dictates about the way I conduct myself nor their opinion on how I should think, act, dress, speak, read and what I should and should not do.

Not on this planet or any other!

Even when I was taxed to the limit in the office, my supervisors knew, speak, discuss, ask but don't ever tell me what to do. I am superbly competent anyway and knew my job and theirs better than they did.

Blame Pope Francis for getting me started on this god topic.

This wonderful, genuinely smiling Pope on Sunday 14 April 2013 disappointed me when I read a news headline attributed to him which screamed "Clergy and christians must not betray God".

My immediate and visceral reaction was it is impossible to betray God.  We each represent god wherever we are as we each carry a part of that entity with us and are connected to that vastness at all times.

So while some may not agree with the actions of others and particularly those who commit heinous crimes, we all act as we deem fit following our soul's dictates and I guarantee that each person's god is aware of it long before the thought even cristallised in a person's being.

And that gives rise to another idea that perhaps our life path is already set and we have no choice in the matter. Do keep in mind that 90 to 95 percent, some say 98 percent of our actions are already predestined because our subconscious is in control of our lives.

If that's true then the beauty here is that we still have that 3 to 5 percent to change the course of our progress. I prefer to believe that we have a choice and it's all about growth and the ace in our favour is called free will.

This is a huge subject and not one I'm going to expound upon any time soon, I'm just throwing it out there.

Now, while some thoughtless and/or well-planned acts create massive negative and painful reactions, it is the responsibility of those of us who can to connect with others of like minds around the world to raise the vibrations of the whole to positively impact humanity.

Yes, there are people out there who dedicate their lives to this purpose and I am grateful to personally know a few of them and I have met a handful of others.

So imagine my relief after my consternation had passed when I read Pope Francis' actual words during Sunday Mass at St Paul's that day "(the) clergy and christians must not betray the word of God with their actions or they undermine the credibility of the Catholic Church."

He continued "those who listen to us and observe us must be able to see in our actions what they hear from our lips, and so give glory to God."

While I am not a god hound and don't consider myself one of these so-called christians - who believe they have the only answers - I must admit that this Pope appears to be on the right track.

So pleasing for a change,eh.

Although, why would 1.2 billion Catholic people be unable to think for themselves is beyond me!