Breaking Through to Me: My Story, Part Two

This is the conclusion of my breakthrough story. If you happen to land on this story - part two - please read part one first. It has all the details which are not repeated here.

My emotional awareness

I don't usually feel lucid and in control when I'm angry. Happily, I don't often get angry anymore except when I'm disrespected. Then, I will stand my ground against all comers.

The "off" feel I had from the black man made me alert; which is why I was not surprised when he attacked. I had no intention of playing his game. His intimidation tactics to force a reaction didn't work either.

People get carried away by emotion when they're angry and lose sight of the real issue at hand. In this fellow's case, he was out of line, out of his depth and floundering. The childish reaction of taking away my coffee as if I was a recalcitrant child was a final act of desperation.

Present and dispassionate

I stood my ground. Attack me and I will return it in spades. And when he leaped forward to hit me, everything became crystal clear. I felt solid, present, focussed, dispassionate, calm and in control.

I even glanced down at a large piece of broken china on the floor but did not pick it up. I was not going that route. I watched him come forward and falter under my stare, before the woman server stopped him completely.

My analytical response

During the entire incident which lasted a lifetime of five to seven minutes, I felt as if there were two of me; the thinking me, and the observant, analytical me. We worked in tandem to plot the man's moves and reactions before he made them. Without a word being said. He's the one who was hot and bothered.

My deliberateness and control stunned me. I'm not normally that cool under "fire". My words tend to slice and dice; a very handy tool in Geneva. But words weren't appropriate either. Being present was! A fundamental shift had occurred but what it meant, I had no idea.

No going back

The man's incomprehension was absolute when he very politely opened the door for me to leave. It's at that moment I was tempted to spit in his face.

But I didn't because - and here again came the lightning clarity - (1) it's not what I'm about, (2) it's not who I am, (3) it was not aligned with my earlier actions, and (4) it would have lowered me to his level. 

I understood then that I had embarked on a new course and there was no going back now. 

Breaking through to me

As I settled down to write this story, I got the idea to check my e-mails which didn't make sense. There, I found Tony Robbins' latest newsletter on breakthroughs. If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what was. In part he wrote:

To get the change in perspective you need to see a relationship or challenge in a completely different light. You decide to tell yourself the truth about who you are and what you need.

It's the moment you recognize that you are more than the moment. You are bigger and stronger than any challenge that life could ever throw at you.

I went to his website for more and out of curiousity, clicked on his blog. I didn't know he had one, and his latest post was Breaking Through - talk about surprise! The particular line which hooked me was:

Transformation happens at a moment when we’re no longer willing to settle for what comes to us in the moment, to settle for what’s “good enough.”

It reminded me of my final thought before falling asleep the previous night. I had decided that I wanted "more" than what I was living; that it was time to move on.  

The lessons learned

Words are irrelevant in certain situations. I am a powerful creator. I can rise above and distance myself from people's emotions at will. 

For me, it has always been easy to know people's motivating factors and "hear" the emotional truth behind their words. 

That used to drive me crazy in my younger days! I was constantly reacting to the truth of what they felt instead of what they said. It made situations difficult and unpleasant at times.

And what unexpected situations have you encountered which you overcame with unexpected ease? What did you learn, and did you make any significant changes in your life because of your new "strength"? Drop me a line and let me know, on the blog or by email hidalgostar at gmail dot com.

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