Healing Emotional Wounds Takes Work and It Hurts!

Heal all (Prunella Vulgaris) by Wade Franklin
Healing emotional wounds takes work and boy oh boy, does it hurt!

I made the following comment on Judith Rich's Healing the wounds of your ancestors that I expand on here because of the 250 word limit is too restrictive in this context.

I'm back to complete my comment Judith. Had to rush off to all day Saturday tutor training.

I know nothing about love; discovered it's existence in other people's lives in my 30s but it's a two-edged sword that others use to gut you when they sense weakness.

Being forced to give up the little you have as a kid set me up to give up whatever I had before it was forcibly taken away.

After peeling away the masks, the awful part was discovering that I'm a naturally generous person with a big heart contrary to my demeanour. Yuck! I have the knack of assisting others fulfill their own needs – wish I had the same for myself.

My character type detests being told what to do even as kid and so, I accepted the daily beatings as normal. Now, when I think I've crossed a hurdle and I reset my bullshit metre to MAX, events occur which illustrate that my tolerance threshold has diminished and my resentment level increased.

Even though it will never be done, this type of work is not what I want to keep doing in these people's vicinity - the reality is unpleasant – so why the hell am I still here...

This love business sucks – this is what you get for dropping your masks and I don't recommend it! If I could revert 30+ years I would. I knew nothing then and I know even less now.

Geranium via WikipediaOur childhood upbringing screws us up so badly that it is surprising  most of us don't become mass murderers.

I guess that means that our psyche is more versatile than we believe and we can usually handle the crap that gets shovelled down our collective throats as defenseless children.

This begs the question – how do we interact with others as adults because the shit is still swimming around inside us.

Our baggage is still tightly wrapped with a nice bow, the chip on the shoulder is a boulder dragging us down, and the "fridge" is full of all the rotten memories we have been preserving which have no use-by-date.

Most of us were sold a bill of goods supposedly for our own good, no pun intended, and unfortunately we are still following the shitty childhood script as adults and therein lies the problem.

It is easy to judge and criticise others when we are separate from ourselves and others and do not know who we are but when we look inside or are forced to do so, do we not see that thing – that same thing we detest in others is a reflection of something similar or familiar within and it is an unpalatable idea.

I felt bitterly regretful and resentful that I began this journey of self-discovery — that was up to 30 April — but I woke up this morning feeling great.

Now, I do not normally regret anything, what's done is done but I just had enough of the pain, you see. That pain however was a result of my resentment at having found myself in this situation — or placed myself in it through my resistance in order to work it out? — which I kept insisting was not of my choosing.

Was that really true? Of course not; it is a lie! I chose it otherwise I would not be living it!

It is our resistance to the reality that we are living which creates the anguish we suffer. No more, no less.

We adults continue to experience the result of childhood trauma which keep us trapped in a never ending cycle of re-actionism until we accept that fact and change that habit. We are grown now; we have a choice now.

Some good memories flashed through my mind and reminded me that you and I must remember that it was not all pain and sorrow. There were some joyful, fun-filled moments. It is simply that our programming predisposed us to focus on the the pain instead of the pleasure.

Again, we can change that now.

Healing color by Lady-bug 

Because life is change - my comment to Judith's article was already "old" the following day when I posted it – I no longer felt the same truculent, resentful and down-in-the-mouthedness – I felt upbeat and positive.

It was not an Aha! moment or something. It is simply that I had a great training session the previous day for illiterate adults; extremely informative and tiring in a good way.

But I still wanted to follow through on those feelings because they were legitimate at the time of expressing them, and I felt that sharing them as written was important, perhaps for someone else.

Love is who we are – it is what we want to experience to the fullest. That means removing the emotional clutter of devastating experiences and recognising that suffering is not what we are about nor does it have to happen. We can transform it and we must.

We are joy made manifest on this earth and that is what we are meant to fulfill in our own magnificently individual ways. Judith says it beautifully in Revelation.

I believe our paths sort of wind their way to us then we just have to follow it until the next turning point. Healing emotional wounds takes time and it hurts. However, we have no choice but to live and experience the soul's journey which is an obligatory passage.