Revealing Your Feelings To Achieve Reconciliation Instead Assigning Blame

Image by catlovers via FlickrIt is so easy to blame others for our distress particularly when our relationships are rocky. But you know what, it is up to each of us individuals to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions. Keeping in mind always that it is your negative thoughts which create your negative emotions and your actions!

Talk to those with whom you have issues as it is your reaction – and I am not saying anything is wrong with that because I'm in the same boat too – that exacerbated the already contentious situation.

If the relationship matters to you keep on trying and remember always to say "I feel...". This clearly shows that you are talking about yourself and you are not assigning blame or pointing fingers to the other person regardless of their part in the scenario.

If you cannot get through to the person then you can write them a letter. Just pour your heart out and express your feelings and send it in the mail.

There are times however when nothing you do or say will make a difference because of the mindset of person or persons. When that is the case, let it go and start working on yourself and trust that all will be well. I have been living this for the past year with my birth mother, sister and brother in law so consider me an "expert" in this area.

When you change as you will because you must grow into who you are, your evolution on the inside will exude an energy which will positively affect those with whom you interact. What must fall by the wayside is inevitable and when family members are the so-called culprits it is time to let go of that "guilt" in particular and move on.

And take it from me a family is not a mother, father, children etc.  A family is a group of people who love, support and lift up each other - never putting them down.

One of the easiest ways to ease distress related to our relationships is to share our feelings with our loved ones. Though we may fear the intensity of our emotional response is out of proportion or that the people we care about will reject us for our vulnerability, expressing our feelings in an ambiguous manner will seldom help us solve the issues weighing on our hearts.

When we are willing to reveal our pain to family and friends, they can then address our concerns openly. The hurt we feel becomes a catalyst that inspires healing through honest and intense discussion. And our forthright manner further reassures our loved ones that our goal in revealing our feelings is to achieve reconciliation rather than to assign blame. You will feel more secure in your relationships today when you resolve to share your pain with the people you care about. —DailyOM