Dying to the Old Me - Emancipation

Emancipation Day celebrants

LOVE IS SUCH a hurting thing. We hear that in songs all the time but that's not true at all. Love really does make the world go round. It is such a wonderfully uplifting, open and accepting emotion tolerant of all, critical of none, seeing beauty everywhere eyes are turned.

No, people, I am not in love. I woke up the other morning and after a brief meditation just felt so UP and these thoughts surfaced hence this post.

MY HEART FEELS full to bursting with gratitude. I feel such a tremendous love for my fellow man and now that the scales have been washed from my eyes, I see once again the light in the man who has unstintingly supported me despite his obvious challenges with alcohol.

I became blind to the light in his soul for the past months which was a shame since as that is what attracted me and made me want to know his story - how could he, a natural leader, a man of such worth and with such heart could end up living in a homeless shelter.

I RECOGNIZED not only our stark differences in upbringing and thus life experiences after our one month romantic fling - even that surprised me - but most importantly I began finding fault with his physical appearance resulting in inevitable criticism and angry encounters.

IT SOUNDS GREAT to say "Oh, I'm not normally like that..." but I would be lying and just as hypocritical as anyone else out there who is unable to communicate effectively. This man's lack of self-love and self-flagellation should have been a huge hint that I needed to check myself because that is what I was doing to myself in my empty, go-nowhere, depressing life. It was really terrible!

WE HUMANS ALWAYS project unto others what we don't like in ourselves and when they naturally reflect it right back at us we hate them. How bout them apples, huh, but that is exactly what we all need to 'fess up to.

AS SOON AS I stopped beating myself up, a welcome feeling of peacefulness swept over me. I discovered by chance afterward from one of my FB friends, Penny Black of Morning Messages - and there's no such thing as coincidence - that a rare planetary formation on 29 July 2013 called the Star of David Merkaba Grand Sextile probably had a significant impact on me and others who are growing in awareness.

Nope, this is NOT woo woo stuff. The planets formed two intersecting triangles which formed the Star of David in the sky. It occurs once every 100 years or so and I was like AHA! because that Star pendant was also a gift granted to me in my teens during one of my astral travels almost thirty-eight years ago and that is what made me sit up and take notice. There is not such thing as coincidence people.

THIS GALACTIC EVENT also had a significant impact upon the feminine within all of us. I don't buy into the biblical/doomsday crap out about this either as I know, as a long time astral traveller that WE humans are not the only Beings out here and mother earth, our magnificent blue planet, as we all know is not alone in the universe either. For those interested, Peggy Black describes the impact of the rare planetary formation.

TEARS USED TO BE RARE events in my life. I thought I had used them all up eleven years ago during my suicidal depression. I normally fight down the feelings, soldier on and go analytical to dissect them.

IMAGINE MY HORROR when this overwhelming and I mean overwhelming, feeling of wrenching loss - it felt like death - surfaced in my chest and just never went away. It lasted for weeks and all I could do was cry. It made me crazy. I could barely hold them in and it happened everywhere, in taxis, the library, just walking. It was terrible. In part it helped that I wear sunglasses but not by much.

THAT EVENT LED up to the actual day, 29 July of the rare planetary formation and after which that exquisite feeling of loss faded and the tears petered out. The soul journey is a tough road.

I FELT THE NEED during that time to be on consecrated ground which led me to the one hundred and ninety year old Trinity Cathedral and that's where I found solace in its grounding energy.

I would just go sit there, let the tears flow copiously then go continue my job search.

IT'S AS IF I WOKE UP after that planetary constellation occurred and while sitting quietly one afternoon a 60-something year old woman in the early stages of Alzheimer's told me out of the blue and with perfect clarity "Don't be confused by what's happening around you. Stay as you are." We weren't even having a conversation and it touched me so. I was grateful for the message which confirmed that I was doing okay.

LOVE, LOVE OF SELF, having compassion for your Self and others is magical all by itself. I can reaffirm that after my experiences of feeling crushed and losing myself somehow. I died (or is it the other way around) to the old parts of me that were no longer relevant or needed.

ACCEPTANCE OF THOSE different among us is a serious challenge in some cases however those positive feelings do contribute toward our global upliftment.

I want to reiterate that it really matters not what others think of you. It is none of your bizness! Abraham-Hicks says Allow others to be, do or have whatever they want. You do not have to take anything from their experience that you don't like. Remember that.

IT'S A GREAT OMEN that today is also Emancipation Day here, a public holiday celebrated each year on 1 August to commemorate the emancipation of slaves in the British colonies - Trinidad and Tobago was one - in 1834. They still had to fight for that because the plantation owners wanted to impose a 4-year apprenticeship until they decided how to replace the nigras. Happily that wasn't to be.

ATTAINING THAT WHICH we desire always seems so difficult. It comes from a lack of self-love, confidence and belief in our right to have it. Because of those feelings we find it hard to maintain focus exclusively on what we want. We ae no longer in the flow, the zone, the groove.

WHATEVER YOU DESIRE is yours to receive. All you have to do is be open to it and expect it. Don't hang on to the "I have to have it" desperate plea. That's negative and self-defeating. Simply decide what you want and don't keep changing your mind. Your doubts are telling the Universe "I'm not sure if that's it" so stop that and take whatever little steps you can to further your fesire.

YOU CAN CREATE affirmations or use those offered on places like HayHouse to increase your faith that you will obtain your heart's desire. Affirmations always work. Their use changes your energy to attract what you want. It's when you use words that are countered by your powerful negative belief that you end up with problems such as "I want a million dollars in the bank" and creditors are currently badgering you to make at least a minimum payment. Get my drift. In cases like this get some financial counselling first.

REPEAT AFFIRMATIONS EVERY DAY and often. Louise Hay says that practising affirmations in front of a mirror, I tried it with a makeup mirror, brings on the changes even faster. It's just you and your eyes.

I'VE BEEN MAKING CHANGES all my life yet had conveniently forgotten all the techniques I used over the years that brought me where I am today when I sunk into this slump.

BEGIN A VISUALIZATION workshop every day for fifteen to thirty minutes in which you create and live your dream, your desire, as if it already exists. This is a fabulous way of pumping up your energy with good vibes all the way. You are in effect telling the Universe "Thank you for bringing it my way." You are that certain.

SYNCHRONICITY TAKES CHARGE and creates links in the chain that bring events and you together to attain that no longer unreachable goal. You hear a chance remark, unlikely people point the way, the most banal of situation turn golden, and like that, you are on your way. Have faith in the process.

BE CERTAIN of what you want and desire, ignore all that is not important to you, tell no one about it as they would instill doubt in your mind, stay the course and watch it happen. Dying to the old me was painful, as usual. I intend to get better and better as I re-learn focusing on my needs and being faithful to them and being gentle and compassionate with myself. I deserve it as do you.

Namasté!