Life Is For Living: The Gift of Receiving: First Lesson Learned in 2010

I had such an amazing experience today that I have to share it. It's my first lesson learned in 2010 - the gift of receiving.

I don't like labels

This is a little glimpse into my psyche to explain the background behind my experience.

I don't like labels of any kind. Nothing puts my back up more than someone approaching me as if they know me; projecting the implicit message that I conform to their image of me as seen through the prism of their tiny mind.

I don't name things except for my emotions; for everything else, it's either I like it or I don't. People are the way they are unless "my blood doesn't take to them at all"; and I am the way I am. Sounds simple huh!

Not really but stick with me for a bit because nothing is black and white here. I am biased as the next person so don't get any strange ideas. That's just the way I am about half the time when my mind is "right".

More about me - An introverted character

I have a very serious demeanour; no masks anymore, and I fiercely protect my privacy. That's a legacy from growing up the hard way. In my younger days I rarely smiled or spoke outside the home except when I had to. Sometimes I laughed, and I didn't know what fun was.

My pleasures were almost always internal except for tomboy stunts and fights with boys my age. Fighting was a pleasure and it was the only thing for which I was never beaten.

As a child, I lived in my head and escaped into my imagination whenever I could. I created incredible works of art in my youth - I only recognise that now - and gave it all away.

Then in my late teens, I completely disconnected from my creative side and started "working hard" after I got my first proper job at eighteen. I wasn't allowed to go to university. Here ends the internal trip - that was the setup to show you the contrast!

My joy in giving

Anyway, I have always enjoyed giving things to people. I never have second thoughts; it's always impulsive and it's usually something I already own particularly when I think I have too much stuff.

What I paid for the original item is irrelevant. When I buy an item for someone, it must match the person. People's thanks are accepted but it's not a big deal, you know.

However, the effusive responses I receive always surprise me because in fact, I don't feel that I need thanks for doing something so natural.

Experiencing the gift of receiving

The event

On New Year's Day, I left a 24-year old bottle of Trinidad Old Oak Rum for my favourite café/restaurant owner. Even though he doesn't drink alcohol, I knew he would appreciate it and share it with close friends. No big deal.

I went to his place for brunch today, 3 January 2010, and his pleasure not only at seeing me but also at the gift I left him was so genuine and sincere, I felt overwhelmed.

I mean, he kept telling people who came by that it was a gift from me. He gave the impression that it was the most precious thing he had ever received.

And you know what, I didn't understand his reaction although it warmed my heart that he was pleased.

Something big just happened

I knew something big had just happened and I had to figure it out. It didn't take me long. It hit me that I always get this reaction from people when I offer something of myself.

Whether it's providing information to young seekers but not always, then it's pretty intense and I feel empty, energized and satisfied. Or things I give which I think others would appreciate; I get the same satisfaction.

So if the pleasure is so genuine, why the instinctive emotional reaction of pushing away. You know, like hey take it easy, it's not that big a deal... But it is you see, receiving is a mega-huge deal!

My aha! moment

I understood in that moment today, how contradictory my reaction was. On the one hand, I'm usually the first to touch or hug someone because I clearly see who the person is on the inside.

Yet I'm also the first to shy away from someone's pleasure at receiving something from me. I understood then that my reaction was linked to an old message "it's okay to give but not receive".

My instinctive reactions are right and the thinking (learned) reaction is wrong. It's time to release the old mental schema.

My first lesson learned in 2010

The lesson I learned here is that receiving is a gift; it is an act of giving back, and it is also an act of love.

I now know that I am so incredibly rich when I embrace this gift of receiving. I intend to acknowledge it fully from now on.

What a wonderful gift this man Eric and his wife have given me to start off 2010! I am so very grateful that my heart feels full to bursting. I could never thank them enough.

I accept the precious gift of love of receiving!

Do write to share your thoughts on giving and receiving. I would love to hear from you.