Stop Bullying Yourself and Beating Yourself Up

The experts have written reams on the topic and others are in the process of writing more on how to stop bullying yourself and beating yourself up.

However, Dr Cara Barker's wonderful post Calling Back Your Spirit: Taking The 21 Day Challenge to Stop Bullying about bullying deserves to be shared as it is heartfelt, insightful, thought-provoking and most importantly, provides practical advice on steps you can take to create a better world for yourself and those around you.

She talks about the different ways bullying occurs today from the schoolgirl who hung herself to political bullying, terrorist acts being carried out by so-called Christians and patriots, and the like, and offers her view that: 

...when cruelty comes to the fore; our focus seems to dwell on punishment, rather than sourcing prevention.



Our kids are suffering in exponential ways. Legal reform is hardly the only reform needed. Looking only in that direction focuses upon the "letter of the law," rather than the 'Spirit of the Law.' In this case, I'm talking about the "Law" as that inner Truth that sets you free, regardless the slings and arrows. When bullies bully, they do so because they are in fear of not being "enough," not being "heard, understood, and seen." They are coming from lack. Aligning themselves with mobs, be it in a high school, a terrorist group, or a government, gets down to the same thing.

Cara offers nine tips to help you "call back your spirit" and help your kids at the same time such as:

• listen to your children
• pay attention to the kids in your "village" who seem left out, alone or upset and let them know you care; it only takes a "are you okay" or a genuine smile to let them know they matter 
• set an unbreakable appointment with yourself every day to reconnect with your Inner Spirit
• do it at the same time every day to create a habit
• create beauty in your space where you reconnect
• take a class on meditation (she also suggests a practical book on the subject - read the article) 
• unplug the phone when you're "in conference"
• forgive yourself when you become aware that you're bullying yourself
• trust that taking the timeout benefits those you love  

The Challenge works like this: whenever you notice that you're criticising yourself, pause, stay with the thought and practise the following statements:

• I forgive myself for bullying myself with the thought............... (you fill it in)

• I praise and raise my best self, noticing that what I appreciate about me right now is ........ (fill it in).
  

Take her up on the 21 Day Challenge (tip no. 9 - see bottom of the article) to praise yourself, raise yourself, forgive and appreciate yourself instead of bullying yourself and beating yourself up. It is a useless exercise in self-flagellation and serves no one, not even you, as I have learned!