BECOME AWARE - Does It Ever Pay to be Angry? - Yes, but...

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Does it every pay to get angry? 

We rarely enjoy getting angry, it’s like drinking poison or being stuck in glue, it can arise out of nowhere and often out-stays its welcome. Anger can make enemies out of friends or family, and depression is often its bedfellow.

Our physical body gets tight, breath shortens, while mind and emotions get twisted. Anger is an unwanted guest that moves into our house leaving us unable to carry on with life as normal, constantly appearing and reappearing in our heads.

Anger is a single match that can burn an entire forest. It hurts, causes pain and anguish, it can leave people feeling like they’ve been run over by a truck. It creates an immediate separation, as egos pull back and rear their heads like cobras. Even justified anger is full of venom.

So how do we deal with this intruder, this thief in the night that steals our sanity? How do we let anger know that this is not the way we want to live, that enough is enough?

It’s not as if we can just stop anger, it’s usually way too powerful and arises quickly, in a flash, out of nowhere. There’s no point in repressing or denying it as it’ll just make itself known in another way and will gain strength.

There are occasional times when anger can be used consciously, without the accompanying emotional turmoil. As Sri Swami Satchidananda says: “Keep your emotions in your pocket and use them when appropriate.” But such times are rare. More often it is a reaction of the ego-mind demanding immediate release.

If expressing anger causes all this angst then is it possible to turn it around? Can we say hello to anger, hello my friend, what are you here to teach me? Can we invite it in for a cup of tea?

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Can we turn shit into gold, or grow roses out of the roiling mud?

Perhaps the best way is by staying fully present and aware of whatever is being felt.

This means seeing it, naming it, breathing into it, while keeping the heart open and the belly soft. Repeat: soft belly, soft belly, soft belly.

Pay attention and see if the anger is actually a cry for help or love, and keep breathing. Through meditation we learn to just watch and not react.

Mindfulness invites us to make friends with the whole of ourselves just as we are, which includes witnessing and knowing anger. It grounds us in basic sanity so we can be aware of our feelings and not get swept away by them. There is a half way place between expressing anger and repressing it, a place where we can rest in awareness and mindfulness. That way we make friends with any arising feelings and have a breath’s pause before the urgent need to express them also arises.

When we lose connectedness with each other there is a deep longing to reconnect, to come back to our meeting place, whether we are aware of it or not. This is important, as the alternative is being overcome with rejection, grief, or loneliness. But the reconnection needed is really to ourselves, to the truth of who we are, and to our heart.

For us, there’s no more appropriate way to initiate this awareness than with the exquisiteness of meditation, where we sit quietly, breathe, and are aware of feelings, stories, and justifications, followed by a deepening quiet and stillness.

Ed and Deb Shapiro

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Ed and Deb Shapiro are the authors of BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Prof. Robert Thurman, contributions from many known meditation teachers, winner of the 2010 Nautilus Gold Book Award; and Your Body Speaks Your Mind, winner of the Visionary Book Award. They are featured contributors on Oprah.com, HuffingtonPost.com, and Vividlife.me, where they host the acclaimed weekly LIVE radio show, Going Out Of Your Mind.

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THOUGHT FOR TODAY - Be Willing to Recognize your Innate Wisdom

You may feel quite confident that your own inner wisdom will help you accomplish your goals today. Even if others attempt to direct you in your choices, your first impulse will likely be to go with your gut instincts when at a personal or professional crossroads.

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The positive consequences of your decisions can further reinforce your assurance of your capabilities, making you feel intelligent and confident.  

You may find that you are inspired to extend yourself beyond the limits of your comfort zone because you trust that your endeavors will be met with success. However you choose to make use of your newly developed self-belief today, you can rest assured that you are no doubt as talented and skillful as you know yourself to be.

When we recognize our own complexity, we come to realize that we are capable of much more than we tend to give ourselves credit for. Years of experience have contributed to our development, and we have retained a wealth of wisdom derived from the triumphs and travails that have marked our passage through life's journey.

To learn self-trust, we need only acknowledge that the depth of our intellect and emotional maturity is sufficient to allow us to make thoughtful and caring choices in the various spheres of our lives. Worry can find no purchase in our hearts and minds as we instinctively know that we are equipped to steer ourselves toward those paths with the potential to enrich our lives.

Your willingness to recognize your innate wisdom will ensure that you can make decisions with confidence today. DailyOM

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EVERYDAY SPIRITUALITY - 29 Prayer Quotes to Enjoy on any Day

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I do not subscribe to any religion since my rebellious streak raises its ugly head when anyone tells me what to do or how to do it. Prayers however are a different story once I understood that they have nothing to do with organized religion.

If it wasn't for my constant communication with the powers that be in the Universe, I wouldn't be here today. They say that prayer is talking to god and meditation is listening for the answer. So in that vein, here are 29 prayer quotes to enjoy on any day.

1- Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. ~Satchel Paige,

2- Prayer may not change things for you, but it for sure changes you for things. ~Samuel M. Shoemaker

3- Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. ~Author Unknown

4- I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. ~Frederick Douglass, escaped slave

5- Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers. ~Austin O'Malley

6- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. ~Author Unknown

7- When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. ~Jane Wagner, In Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, 1985

8- Many people pray as if God were a big aspirin pill; they come only when they hurt. ~B. Graham Dienert

9- Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. ~Author Unknown

10- The Lord's Prayer may be committed to memory quickly, but it is slowly learnt by heart. ~Frederick Denison Maurice

11- I used to think the Lord's Prayer was a short prayer; but as I live longer, and see more of life, I begin to believe there is no such thing as getting through it. If a man, in praying that prayer, were to be stopped by every word until he had thoroughly prayed it, it would take him a lifetime. ~Henry Ward Beecher

12- Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. ~William Inge

13- If we could all hear one another's prayers, God might be relieved of some of his burdens. ~Ashleigh Brilliant

14- The trouble with our praying is, we just do it as a means of last resort. ~Will Rogers

15- To be present is to be prayerful. ~Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

16- Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence. ~Oscar Wilde

17- It is not well for a man to pray cream and live skim milk. ~Henry Ward Beecher

18- Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~Victor Hugo, Les Misérables, 1862

19- Complaint is the largest tribute heaven receives and the sincerest part of our devotion. ~Jonathan Swift

20- I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ~Abraham Lincoln

21- Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

22- I often pray, though I'm not really sure Anyone's listening; and I phrase it carefully, just in case He's literary. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

23- When it's a glorious day I pray and it's a glorious day when I pray ~Terri Guillemets

24- When you bow deeply to the universe, it bows back; when you call out the name of God, it echoes inside you. ~Morihei Ueshiba

25- Most people do not pray; they only beg. ~George Bernard Shaw

26- To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do. ~Victor Hugo

27- Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. ~Ruth Graham

28- Prayer is the spirit speaking truth to Truth. ~Philip James Bailey

29- Call on God, but row away from the rocks. ~Indian Proverb

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Increase your Happiness - Use this Happiness Secret for 21 Days

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Because I feel I'm in a slump and am finding it difficult to let go - as usual - which I am being forced to again by circumstances as I have reached another level in my evolution, the Universe guided me to the wonderful Jo Dunning's site that I haven't visited for a while. I found one of Jo's Gems, the Happiness Secret.

This feels right as so much is not turning out as I expected and the only thing that's keeping me going is my daily gratitude list where I write down one thing each day for which I'm grateful or happy.

It's great to remember that we create our own happiness but I think, in fact I know, that we forget that, often. This is one way of showing love to your Self by pursuing this one simple act of jotting down quick notes about what makes you feel happy or grateful. This is not journaling, that's completely different.

You probably know but I'll repeat just in case. The 21-day duration is necessary as that is how long it takes to develop a new habit. Repetition rewires the brain.

I strongly advise that you to also check out Jo's The Wish Project.

Happiness Secret

If you would like to increase your level of happiness for the next 24 hours here is a simple little secret you can use that only takes 30 seconds.

The first thing when you wake up, write down 5 things that make you feel grateful or happy. This simple act will increase your happiness biochemistry for the next 24 hours! This gives you greater happiness, better problem solving, increased memory, greater insights, more energy and a much improved experience of life.  

If you are unable to write down the 5 things then just thinking about them will also help. Writing is more effective because it involves more of your senses and more brain activity than just thinking.

If you choose to use this Happiness Secret for 21 days in a row, it will increase your biochemistry for happiness and higher consciousness functioning for the next 6 months!

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - Tell Many Good Feeling Stories Throughout Your Day

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There is no right or wrong way to tell your improved story. It can be about your past, present, or future experiences. The only criterion that is important is that you be conscious of your intent to tell a better-feeling, improved version of your story. Telling many good-feeling short stories throughout your day will change your point of attraction. Just remember that the story you tell is the basis of your life. So tell it the way you want it to be. Abraham

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BLACKFISH - Seaworld Acts of Inhumanity against its Killer Whales - Let's End it Now

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I just finished watching Blackfish, a 2013 documentary directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite, featured at the Sundance Film Festival, after reading about it in Gillian Lucky's article Go see Blackfish reproduced below.

Cruelty to animals is intolerable to me and on reading her article on how the young whales are ill-treated by SeaWorld from the moment they are caught, isolated and starved in order to force them to perform for the public, making hundreds of millions for SeaWorld in the bargain, is pretty damn horrific.

Speak out against this people and rally others to the cause. Man's famous inhumanity and cruelty to others he believes  lesser than himself is on show, literally, for all to see! SeaWorld's acts of inhumanity against the Orcas must end now!

Retrain them to live in the wild - their natural home - once more and release them all.

Go See Blackfish 

Blackfish is the colloquial name given to orcas by the indigenous people of the Pacific north-west who understood and respected the nature of killer whales.  

The Blackfish being referred to is a 2013 documentary directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite which deals with the treatment and behaviour of killer whales in SeaWorld in Florida. 

It should be noted that SeaWorld Entertainment refused to take part in the production of the film and has described much of the content as “inaccurate and misleading”. 

While the film focuses on Tilikum, an orca which was involved in the deaths of three SeaWorld employees, there is a much bigger issue that is being addressed — should killer whales be kept in captivity for the pleasure and amusement of human beings? 

By the end of the film, anyone with an iota of compassion will answer in the negative. 

It was difficult when watching the film to separate the ordeal of the killer whales swimming freely in the wild being the subject of capture and the tragedy when a human being is permanently separated from his or her loved ones. 

Blackfish trailer

The almost human cries of the orca as they realise that one of their own is being taken away from the family pod forever would bring tears to anyone who can make the analogy with the human experience.

The film contains graphic content with footage that would make the average viewer cringe, especially at those moments when the killer whales are at their most helpless. 

Even in the sequences in which Tilikum is held responsible for the deaths of his trainers, one cannot help but feel that his actions are the result of cumulative frustration at being confined in a space as opposed to swimming in open waters and being trained to perform tricks instead of roaming freely with his family and friends in the ocean. 

Until viewing Blackfish, I did not realise that the orca are punished by not being fed or placed in further confinement if they do not perform according to the script — a script which has been written entirely for the amusement and entertainment of spectators. 

Unknown to the audience, if a killer whale, as happened in the case of Tilikum, does not stick to the trick for which he has been trained, then he is not rewarded with his snacks of fish and this punishment is actually meted out during the performance, obviously contributing to the frustration and aggression of the whale. 

That the orca in those circumstances, has on occasion  taken matters into his own teeth, is wholly understandable although not acceptable when humans are injured or killed as a result. 

In the film, several former SeaWorld trainers recount their first experience at the water park in which they saw Shamu, the famous killer whale, performing lovingly with the trainer. 

It was during those performances  that many of them realised that they wanted to work with killer whales at SeaWorld and become part of the whole human-whale bonding experience. 

However, after joining SeaWorld and witnessing the treatment of the orca, these trainers realised that the life of the orca was not as glamorous as portrayed and in many instances, the mammals were not the happy troopers as proclaimed to the excited audiences at the daily shows. 

Blackfish - The Documentary

As an aside, for those like me who visited SeaWorld in their younger days and were fascinated with Shamu, you should know that SeaWorld has a policy of naming each orca individually but giving them all the stage name Shamu. The original Shamu was actually retired from performing when she attacked a SeaWorld secretary during a promotional stunt with the orca. Shamu died in 1971. So the Shamu I thought was the original when I visited SeaWorld was actually a completely different killer whale. And the reason it was so easy to believe that all the Shamu were one and the same killer whale is that SeaWorld personnel told us that the female orca in captivity lives for as much as 50 years – a  claim which the film states is false. 

Blackfish makes the point that all male killer whales in captivity have a curved dorsal fin compared to one per cent of male orca in the wild with a similar curvature. 

There are many powerful lines in the film which drive home the point that killer whales should not be in captivity, but the most potent speaks to the way future generations will view us — as “barbaric” for having kept killer whales captive.

Despite the disclaimers by SeaWorld about the accuracy of the content of Blackfish, several international entertainers, after viewing the film, have cancelled their concerts which were carded to take place at SeaWorld, Orlando and Busch Gardens, Tampa. 

And Pixar, the computer animation film studio, has altered an aspect of its upcoming film Finding Dory which depicted a marine park. 

Even legislators are getting on board the bandwagon to free Blackfish, with New York Senator Greg Ball proposing legislation in New York to ban keeping orca in captivity and California Assemblyman Richard Bloom introducing the Orca Welfare and Safety Bill in California which seeks to outlaw entertainment-driven killer whale captivity and retire all current captive whales. 

So what does all of this have to do with us at home? 

As members of the human species we will be included in any indictment that charges us with acts of inhumanity–and that is where Blackfish fits in. 

I strongly recommend that you look at the film—not a pirated copy —and share your views.

Gillian Lucky is an attorney-at-law and presenter of the local television programme Just Gill.

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THOUGHT FOR TODAY - Success is not a destination: It is a Journey

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Success is not a destination: It is a journey. The happiest people I know are those who are busy working toward specific objectives.  

The most bored and miserable people I know are those who are drifting along with no worthwhile objectives in mind. ~Zig Ziglar

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THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Maintain Balanced Friendships and Family Relationships

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The love and care we give others should never be given at the expense of our own well-being. We can be loyal to the important people in our lives without sacrificing our health and happiness, provided our approach to the maintenance of friendships and familial relationships is balanced.  

Our ability to give our loved ones the care and support they need is dependent upon our physical health and emotional wellness. When we take good care of ourselves before endeavoring to care for others, we ensure that we can be there for family and friends no matter how dire the circumstances at hand.  

We can commit ourselves to others precisely because we have first committed ourselves to ourselves. You will find that your outwardly-directed faith is unerring today when you have taken steps to make certain that you feel consistently energetic and upbeat. DailyOM

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You are the Captain of your Ship and the Master of your Soul

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Louise Hay just shared three Heart Thoughts  with us from her book of the same name via her free newsletter. 

I'm passing them on to you because of their importance to your physical and mental well-being.

The heart is the centre of our universe - yours and mine - and the fact that it lies in the centre of your chest is no coincidence.

 It is the well-spring from which we seek succor in times of pain and stress. We need to become friends with who we really are inside there.

Leaving yourself open may make you feel too vulnerable but it is the only way to face what ails you, head on and deal with it.

I unwittingly left myself open after the final year of psychotherapy during my suicidal depression and it was one of my best friends who brought it to my attention.

 She was impressed and scared at the same time that I could walk around in public without a mask.

I cannot say that it is easy every day but that was eight years ago and I am learning more about me every day and making the changes that are essential to my growth and evolution. 

This is everyday spirituality and a powerful technique for your personal growth.

Deal with the hurt and pain created by your thoughts and beliefs learnt from others in childhood when you had no choice and knew no better. 

As adults you can choose who you want to be and the thoughts you want to keep in your heads. Your beliefs are up to you.

You are the captain of your ship and master of your soul!

I Am Free to Be Me

Don’t swallow your anger and have it settle in your body.

When you get upset, give yourself a physical release. 

There are several methods you can use to release these feelings in positive ways.

You can scream in the car with the windows closed. You can beat your bed or kick pillows. 

You can make noise and say all the things you want to say. You can scream into a pillow. 

You can run around a track, or play a game like tennis to release the energy.

Beat the bed or kick pillows at least once a week, whether you feel angry or not...just to release those physical tensions you store in your body! 

I Create Wonderful New Beliefs about Myself

These are some of the beliefs that can really help you in your life if you think or say them every day: 

I am always safe.

Everything I need to know is revealed to me.

Everything I need comes to me in the perfect time/space sequence.

Life is a joy and filled with love.

I prosper wherever I turn.

I am willing to change and to grow.

All is well in my world.  

It’s Only a Thought and a Thought Can Be Changed  

How many times have you refused to think a positive thought about yourself? 

Well, you can refuse to think negative thoughts about yourself, too. People say, “I can’t stop thinking a thought.” 

Yes, you can!  

You have to make up your mind that it’s what you’re going to do. You don’t have to fight your thoughts when you want to change things.  

When that negative voice comes up, you can say, “Thank you for sharing, and I’m choosing to do something else. 

I don’t want to buy into that anymore, I want to create another way of thinking.” 

Don’t fight your thoughts. Acknowledge them and go beyond them. 

Affirmation: I claim my power now. Life is always there for me.

Louise Hay

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Death is the Opposite of Birth and Grief is a Natural Reflection of Life


Many of you have experienced the death of loved ones. It makes us numb, sending us into a tailspin and depth of pain and hurt which is terrible to endure at times and many of us also take a long time to accept it and move on, and some of us don't.

This loss also includes our beloved pets and many simply do not understand our grief.

When I lost my beautiful boy Elton in 2009, I was devastated as I share in Memories of my incredible pug, Elton and still think of him to this day and even dream of him sometimes.

Following that was another devastating loss of a new/old heart friend from stomach cancer in 2011 and I still haven't come to terms with that one as yet. 

We become so attached you see to those we hold dear and this is so very natural that we forget that death is the opposite of birth and it is inevitable.

We must participate fully in this dance of life, every single day.

So, I share here this book excerpt from the wonderful Louise L. Hay and David Kessler You can heal your heart.

It talks so very eloquently about death, and dying and the inevitable guilt and grief which ensue and the healing which also must inevitably follow if we are all to cherish the memories of those who have made the transition and continue with fulfilling lives. 

This book shows the way thoughtfully and lovingly.

Honoring Pet Loss

Grief is a natural reflection of life and exists in any relationship where we have feelings and attachments. 

We all mourn for those we loved, for those we disliked, and even for those we hated. 

We don't grieve when there is no attachment. In that context, it seems silly to think that we wouldn't grieve for the animals in our life that we are indeed very much attached to.

Our pets share our living spaces—and in many cases, our beds—and are truly members of the family.

 

Despite this, people who are grieving over an animal that died will often find that they must be very discreet about their feelings and with whom they share them.

 

They instinctively know that they're dealing with a form of disenfranchised grief—a type of grief that other people might deem as "less than."

 

Some have shared their heartbreak only to be met with: "Well, it's not like it was a person. It was just an animal," and "Just go get yourself another pet."

The reality is that grief from pet loss is not as easily fixed as some would have us believe.

 

It's hard to live in grief that's judged as unworthy. Grief is about love, and our animal companions often show us some of the most unconditional love we could ever experience.

 

How often, despite our best efforts, do we absorb some of society's judgments and think, I shouldn't be grieving this much? Yet when we let these thoughts in, we betray our genuine feelings.


To complicate our grief even more around pet loss, we're often clearer on treating them humanely. 

When they're in pain at the end of their lives, despite our wanting them to stay around, we will often choose to euthanize them to make sure that they die in a respectful, dignified manner, surrounded by love.

 

But sometimes it makes the loss a little harder when we wonder if we did the right thing at the right time.

People feel very strongly about their animals. Many people resonate with humorist Will Rogers's statement: "If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went."

Many believe that when we die, we will reunite with all of the people and pets we loved that passed on before us. 

We embrace the concept that death is arriving into fullness rather than emptiness. In other words, when any of us leaves the earthly plane, it will be "standing room only" because we will once again be surrounded by all of our loved ones whom we've been missing so much. 

Let's imagine that scene with our pets greeting us as well. To see their faces again, their tails wagging.

 

Hearing their barks, their meows, their chirps, their whinnies and grunts, and being around all of their other loving attributes. What a tender arrival we will have when we die.

I embrace all the gifts my pet has left me.

I am thankful for all the experiences we shared.

My sweet pet will always be surrounded by my love.

With a perfect blend of Louise's affirmations and teachings on the power of your thoughts and David's many years of working with those in grief, You Can Heal Your Heart will inspire an extraordinary new way of thinking, bringing profound love and joy into your life.

 

You will not only learn how to harness the power of your grief to help you grow and find peace, but you will also discover that, yes, you can heal your heart.

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