Life Is For Living: Is Fear of Change Making You Blow Smoke?

16 Jun 2009

Is Fear of Change Making You Blow Smoke?

James M Lynch has another thought-provoking post Blowing Smoke but not exactly the way you think.

Are you a "but head" and do you know people who are? You know "yes, but ..." That's what Lynch's latest post is about. The procrastination and refusals that start with ...I'm not sure... well, maybe but... although... conventional wisdom says... Here's how he puts it:

BUT -- this is a word I could just as well do without. It stops more projects before they even hit the planning stage than it creates. A rule I heard once encouraged us to replace the word but with the word "and". It became a way to suggest better planning than a discouragement and road block.

Fear of change

When people are stuck in their disagreeing mode it is very hard to counter because their reasoning is irrational. The nay-sayer is in fact saying "no" to life because life means change and that's what the blockade is all about.

Most of us fear change and the mechanisms within us automatically pump the brakes when the smell of change appears in the air. The thinking is that since we don't know what the future holds we might as well stick with what we have. The thing is though that when we hinder others, we also hinder ourselves.

The challenge

So how many times a day are you a "but head"? I bet you don't know. Take Lynch's challenge and find out.

The Challenge: Get one of those really colorful children's bandaids and put it on your pinkie finger. The bandaid is a reminder to be conscious of your language and speech throughout the day.

Listen for the times that you are a subtle, partial or outright "but" in others' lives. Awareness is key; the challenge is to really be present to your own demeanor and words.