Suffering Is Timeless and So Is Happiness

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Sufferation, not suffering, as the peeps down in the Southerly Caribbean islands of Trinidad and Tobago like to name it, is timeless and so is happiness.

We human beings love to suffer and that is why we complain so much; it's an attention getter.

We hate suffering too and so, we deny it and refuse to accept it, as if there's a choice in the matter. 

Most people are quite happy to suffer in silence, if they are sure everybody knows they are doing it. Unknown

Searching for Happiness

People are actively searching for happiness, doing what they think will make others happy and falsely believing that they in turn will be happy. They believe that happiness can be achieved by doing but they are wrong. Happiness can only be attained by being. Any thought and accompanying action which contradict this statement leads to suffering.

Glory in Suffering

In Switzerland where I lived for 18 years, the population - both the natives and immigrants - are taught that "we are put here to suffer" and as a people they revel in it which is scary.

For such a wealthy country, they are the most unhappy people I have ever encountered which is probably why they are so unwelcoming and are unable to smile or show friendliness.

My Suffering Game

We glory in suffering like a pig in mud. But why is that though? I know for myself that when I don't get my own way after considerable effort, like a spoilt child I sulk and rage, mostly inward, and I definitely don't want anyone to make me feel good or humour me out of my mood! 

I want to continue my sufferation and stamp around with an angry, poisonous expression on my face to show and "punish" whomever is responsible for making me "lose it" or foiling my attempts to get what I want.

My thunderous expression is a dual invitation to all and sundry to "stay away" and "ask me what's wrong". How childish can you get huh. Happily, those times are infrequent because I can't stand myself either!

If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive. Elbert Hubbard

Some learned folks talk and teach more about suffering:

• Ed and Deb Shapiro say in their HuffPost article The Good, the bad and the ugly: Making friends with your life  "The denial of suffering means that our feelings get repressed, held in, squashed down, which results in us getting cut off from all our other feelings as well, not just the uncomfortable ones. 
  
  Life becomes more superficial and empty because any depth of real feeling has been put out of reach. Resistance to suffering means no vital life force flowing through us, who we really are is hidden away."

I can relate to this because I have lived it. The article concludes by saying that no special skills are needed to deal with suffering. It is what it is. What is necessary is that we accept that it is part of life; take it as it comes.

• The wonderful Dr Judith Rich asks Are you playing the scarcity game? This is a subject which creates tremendous suffering. Many of us have experienced this and far too many of us also deal with scarcity in the same way... with False Evidence Appearing Real. We have to decide to stop this or become our own prophets of doom!
  
  Judith says most succinctly "If you live in an inner conversation of scarcity and lack of awareness about and acceptance of who you are, you are not much better off than a homeless person. You might not be sleeping on a cold sidewalk or worrying about your next meal, true. But oddly enough, the inner experience is the same.
  
  
  
  The soul of scarcity is rooted in the depths of not trusting or believing in one's self. It is a fundamental belief that who you are is not enough. Nothing from the outside can make up for the deficiency of belief in one's self as a worthy human being. Where those beliefs come from can most often be found in one's childhood. The most innocent remark insensitively delivered can sometimes mark a person for life."
   

• Check out also Jeffery Hull's Are we hard-wired to suffer?: "In other words, when you find yourself defaulting to the story, "I'm hard-wired to be ______", (e.g. anxious, stressed, worried, fill-in-the blank with your favorite), it usually means that some aspect of your life is ready to shift, ready to release, ready to be, in fact, renewed.
  
  
  BUT, because change is uncomfortable even for the most adaptable of us, our egos will hook into whatever cultural narrative is in vogue to hold us "in check" -- in an effort to protect us. 
  
  
  But from what? It seems we would rather languish in depression or wallow in worry instead of simply acknowledging our fear of the unknown, breathing deeply and stepping into the flow of life... and changing."

My "Get Out of here" Card

Bang on target, he is! Yes, I recognise myself there too and in my last situation, I had to be backed into a corner and be forced to cry "uncle" because I was no longer in sync with my old story but I didn't know what to do with the "vacancy" which had arisen. 

My FEAR and desperation grew and I felt like I was screaming in the wind from the bottom of a gorge. When a lifeline was thrown my way, I still continued howling like a fool in the wilderness instead of grabbing the rope and climbing out because... I didn't recognise the rope for what it was – the get out of here card.

Suffering is timeless and so is happiness for one simple reason – I have learned that each and every instant is an eternity – so it's up to you and me to live gloriously, right now!