Thought for Today: How Do You Develop Empathy, Compassion, Loving Kindness? And Why Would You Want To?

This is not the post I intended to write - I focussed on empathy but it all changed right before my eyes as I was typing. So there must be a message here that needs sharing.


Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.  Scott Adams


However, this is not an exposé on the subject because an expert, I certainly am not. I do not know anything so I am in the same boat with you - just sharing my view for what it's worth on empathy, compassion and loving kindness.

So how do we develop these qualities which are naturally part of who we are as human beings? Do you normally express them and why would you want to?

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. The Dalai Lama

Compassion and loving kindness

About Dharma says Compassion is a mind that is motivated by cherishing other living beings and wishes to release them from their suffering.

I don't know about you but this statement alone tells me that I have a long way to go.

About Dharma also states "Although we already have some degree of compassion, at present it is very biased and limited. When our family and friends are suffering we easily develop compassion for them, but we find it far more difficult to feel sympathy for people we find unpleasant or for strangers."

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  The Dalai Lama

It is precisely because of this separation - the us and them - that I am practising the value of compassion throughout 2010. It is quite challenging because I automatically switch off when I "read" certain people but I intend to persist.

Staying the compassionate course

Developing compassion takes work. We have to override our instincts, habits, cultural upbringing and social mores and kick them out the door when we realise they do more harm than good. Lotsa work right there!

My trick to stay on my compassionate course is to recognise that people's suffering (mostly self-inflicted) put them in a bad mood and I work diligently on "seeing" the being of light they truly are on the inside.

It does not mean accepting their crap but I can ignore it sometimes, walk away at other times or put up a shield to protect myself or just plain get pissed off.

Nevertheless, it is all about becoming aware of our connectedness with every living thing around us. Compassion is universal love.

Empathy

According to the UK Online encyclopaedia, empathy is the ability to understand the experience or emotional state of another person or animal.

It was an incestuous, feel-good time in the eighties and nineties - that blatant, overwhelming need to swim in each others emotions used to make me shudder in horror. Touchy-feely gives me the scratch!

This is where a lot of us encounter problems. People mistakenly believe or have been led to believe that they do not have it or are accused of being "cold" when they don't wear their hearts on the sleeves.

Why would you want to do that for every Tom, Dick, Jane, Harry and Nancy?

Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.  Peter Marshall

Developing empathy

I found this article which states that empathy is a learned skill. That is such rubbish. Human beings are naturally empathetic. 

It is a tiny percentage of the human race which has become warped through childhood circumstance and experiences and as a consequence, are emotionally crippled.

Remembering that we all share the same planet is one way to develop a greater sense of empathy.

When you can look at others and see fellow humans, their individual quirks, actions, and feelings become more accessible and understandable to you.

You become able to see the necessity for cooperative understanding as it relates to peacefully sharing and coexisting in a single living space. When you see people as a part of the planet’s community, sharing their concerns and recognizing their needs will begin to come naturally.

You may also be more driven to understand your peers as a matter of course. Keeping in mind the vast number of individuals who are your planetary neighbors today can help you relate to others more effectively. DailyOM

It is counter-productive to swim in another's negative emotions just to connect with them. That is extremely unhealthy, limiting, debilitating, very disempowering and self-defeating.

What you do want and what is natural, is to connect on an intuitive level with someone by putting yourself in their shoes, in order to understand their point of view and experience.

At the same time, you want to stay clear-eyed and focussed in order to hear what they are saying.

Develop intuition and active listening

Active listening

This is where active listening comes in.  Active listening means being present particularly when listening to another's pain. The noise inside you dies down and the person in front of you becomes your only focus.

It enables you to hear everything that is being said without judgement - that is real empathy. When you are an active listener, you are 100 percent present!

When you become an active listener, you can help in meaningful ways that go to the heart of the problems being encountered.

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  Bonnie Jean Wasmund

Develop your intuition

Develop your intuition and learn to express compassion for all beings great and small on a daily basis.

Men are more intuitive than they realise but they call it gut instinct. Women are instinctively intuitive but some of them tend to allow themselves to be derailed by their emotions instead of managing them.

That takes practice and is worth the effort as it makes no sense falling into men's (societies) stereotyping of the "emotional" female when we are quite capable of using our intuition and our emotions (which are our strengths) to our considerable advantage instead. After all, women are much smarter than men.

Find out Why be intuitive? from Jim Self. Here are two of his examples:

• You will begin to walk through life with Presence and Certainty. This doesn’t mean in arrogance. This is a gentle, pervasive knowing that you are in management of your life.
• You will find doubt and fear begin to disappear and your ability to take charge of your business life and personal life increases very quickly

Bottom Line

And here ends the opus my friends, completely unintended.

Practise compassion - be kind to those around you; it is as simple as a pleasant greeting or a smile to a stranger. You won't know the effect until you try and most times, you will be pleasantly surprised.

It's not about doing; it's all about being.

It costs nothing and will always comes back to you. Use empathy judiciously, I tend to keep it for children and animals - they are the helpless ones. It's really all about living love and tough love is part of that. What do you think about it?

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Thought for Today: What Are The Major Attributes of Leadership and Do You Have Them?

What are the major attributes of  leadership and do you have them? Yes, I know it seems off-base as I appear to be talking about management and supposedly business on my Life Is About Living Blog.

Do you not want to live successfully? To me that means money to live really well, great friends, family and loving and harmonious relationships.

Answer this - do you not put your management skills to work every day as you go about your daily lives, including the myriad responsibilities and challenges which you accept as normal? Obviously most of us do not think about our life skills in this way but this is what we all do in one form or another every single day. 

Believe it or not, this topic is included in Chapter 7, Organized Planning: The crystallization of desire into action - Napoleon Hill's sixth step toward riches in Think and Grow Rich. By the way, I have skipped two chapters (Planning and Imagination) and will cover them at a later date.

If you can't manage your own mental attitudes, what makes you thank you can manage others. It is simply impossible for you to inspire others to high levels of achievement if you cannot inspire yourself to do the same.  Napoleon Hill Foundation

Yet, from my quick research as seen in the two links below this post, the topic is covered mainly on business blogs and websites and are aimed at business and would-be business leaders. What a crock!

Successful leaders are everywhere, be it in your grassroots community or a protest march. Good leadership skills are essential for success in any endeavour. When they are absent chaos occurs; be it in the workplace, home-business, family etc. Think on that for a bit.

For now, let us concentrate on these major attributes of leadershp which bear not only repeating but sharing as well.

1- Unwavering Courage - This is based on self-knowledge and one's occupation. No follower wishes to be doinated by  a leader who lacks self-confidence and courage. And no intelligent follower will be dominated by such a leader for any length of time.

2 - Self-Control - The man who cannot control himself can never control others. Self-control sets a forceful example for one's followers which the more intelligent among them will emulate.

3 - A Keen Sense of  Justice - Without a sense of fairness and justice, no leader can command and retain the respect of his followers.

4 - Definiteness of Decision - The man who wavers in his decisions shws that he is unsure of himself. He obviously cannot lead others successfully.

5 - Definiteness of Plans - The successful leader must plan his work, and work his plan. A leader who operates by guesswork without practical, definite plans, is comparable to a ship without a rudder. Sooner or later he will land on the rocks.

6 - The Habit of Doing More - One of the penalties of leadership is the willingness to do more than is required of his or her followers.

7 - A Pleasing Personality (Charisma) - A slovenly, careless person cannot becomea successful leader and I would add here, even if the person possesses the requisite qualities. You want to attract not turn off. Leadership demands respect. Followers will not respect a leader who does not get top marks for a pleasant personality. 

8 - Sympathy and Understanding (Act  like a human being) - The successful leader must be in sympathy with his followers. Moreover, he must understand them and their problems, and that does not mean he or she is a pushover.

9 - Mastery of Detail - Successfull leadership calls for the mastery of details of the leader's position. That man or woman has to know what is happening and must have the necessary experts to call on as and when necessary.

10 - Willingness to Assume Full Responsibility (The buck stops with me) - The successful leader must be willing to assume full responsibility for the mistakes and shortcomings of his or her followers. If he or she tries to shift the blame will cause him or her to lose their position. If one of his or her followers makes a mistake through incompetence, the leader must consider that it is he or she who failed.

11 - Cooperation - The successful leader must understand and apply the principle of cooperative effort and be able to induce his followers to do the same. Leadership calls for power and power calls for cooperation.

When you are a leader by consent you will be followed. However, when you assume the role by force you get nothing. Think for instance of a step mom or step dad who is resented by the siblings and the parent tells them that they are going to accept the situation and that's all there is to it.  What do you think happens then?

So, do you think that you have these leadership attributes? Share with me how you go about your daily business being a leader for your child or children, loved ones, office mates, and friends.

Because you should know that these qualities exist in all of us and I am not saying go out an be a leader, and many do not want to be.

What could be interesting is for you to identify the qualities you like in yourself and those you admire in people you are drawn to. I bet they'll have some similarities to Napoleon Hill's list.

Have a quick read also of:

Howard H. Haller's Leadership Attributes (2009)
Washington Journal's Empowering List of Leadership Attributes (1998)

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Thought for Today: Your Reaction Determines The Outcome of A Rejection

Here's an interesting thought for today via Bob Proctor's Insight of the Day. Your reaction, as I have learned, does determine the outcome of a rejection.

It's so obvious yet it's often overlooked or ignored in the "heat of the moment". As I learned from Jack Canfield, change your reaction and you will get a different outcome. I have lived this time and time again and I'm only now getting accustomed to the difference. Boy, what years I wasted!

Rejections and Reactions

 

Rejection takes many forms. You didn't make the team. The college you want to attend turns you down. The woman you asked out said no. You didn't get the job. You were passed over for a promotion. Your husband left you.

Whatever form it takes, being rejected hurts. It is a blow to your ego and challenges your ability to cope. It makes you question yourself. It makes you angry. In its most extreme and painful forms, it generates self-destructive thoughts and behaviors - ranging from rage to drinking binges to suicide.

The tricky thing about rejection, though, is not to avoid it but to choose a positive way of reacting to it. After all, everybody suffers rejection. That is not meant to minimize anyone's pain at being let go or turned down; it is simply to say that you aren't alone. Others have lived through similar - or worse - things. The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to fail to live, dream, or dare! And that is a far worse thing than being courageous enough to apply for the position, to accept a leadership challenge, or to invest your heart and getting turned down.

In a recent interview reported in the Wall Street Journal, Warren Buffett spoke of his rejection by Harvard Business School at 19. "The truth is, everything that has happened in my life . . . that I thought was a crushing event at the time, has turned out for the better," he said. With the exception of health problems, he continued, life's setbacks teach "lessons that carry you along. You learn that a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end it can be an opportunity."

In Buffett's case, a second-choice application to Columbia put him under the tutelage of two professor-mentors who taught him the essentials he has used in a successful investment career. More important still, the disappointment he thought his father would feel over his failure turned into a positive expression of "unconditional love" and "unconditional belief in me."

Rejection is the challenge to find a new way, a better path. Rather than curse the job you didn't get or the person who didn't hire you, rethink your skills and find another venue for their use. Instead of hiding from life because a relationship has ended and your heart is broken, learn something about yourself from what has happened and know there is someone who needs what you have to give. Temporary setbacks become permanent defeats only if you allow it.

It isn't rejection that determines the outcome. It is your reaction to it.

Rubel Shelly

Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: http://www.rubelshelly.com/

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Thought for Today: Maintain Your Internal Equilibrium

Today's post is all about maintaining your internal equilibrium. My horoscope gave me the idea. Isn't it fabulous when you hear good news? You punch your fist in the air in triumph - yes, somebody loves me! - you holla.

You have been waiting so long for good news and here it is! Yippee!!! You go all to pieces and you feel incredibly wonderful; you feel so good you could roll around on the floor if people wouldn't think you're crazy. Gosh, isn't life great!

You're feeling really really happy. That smile is plastered across your face and it feels like it's never going to come off. You go about your business for days feeling buoyed up and your feet don't seem to touch the ground. No thing can bring you down.

But something does eventually, it's called reality. In your buoyant mood you neglected to take care of business as you're supposed to; you let things slide because suddenly they didn't seem so important anymore but they were, and still are.

Maintaining a proper perspective, in other words, a balanced outlook, is essential for healthy living and hell no, it is not boring at all. It's an essential part of everyday spirituality and is part and parcel of becoming aware.

What I'm talking about is enjoying the moments when they happen all the while knowing that that external joy does not and cannot last. It's way too high, and I'm not trying to be a killjoy here. However, it's important to say this.

Real joy which suffuses your entire being and can be with you constantly if you allow it and deliberately nuture it comes from the inside all day and all year long. It's a simple as a smile.

Maintain a natural balance in your life by acknowledging that the excitement and the unnatural highs do not last and what's more, neither do the lows. Remember that.  

Here's what my DailyOm horoscope says about balance:

We serve ourselves well when we strive to maintain a balanced outlook whether we are confronting great joy or great sorrow. Intensely emotional circumstances can throw our lives for a loop, making us feel as if the world will never be the same again. But all situations, no matter how fraught with feeling, eventually wind down, becoming just another part of the status quo.

When we make the most of our emotions while recognizing that our circumstances will eventually pass, we do our part to maintain the internal equilibrium we have worked so diligently to achieve.

Little can put us off balance, absorbed as we are in the knowledge that stability can be everlasting if we let it. Since you do not allow your reactions to overwhelm you today, you can take pleasure in good news without disregarding other aspects of your existence.

Drop me a line and let me know what tips, tricks and habits you use to maintain your internal equilibrium.

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Thought for Today: What Life Lessons Learned Are You Living Today?

You know, I firmly believe in living in the present although it is tough at times when I let my emotions blur my focus. And I do the same thing like everyone else, I move from past to future.

Living in the present becomes very challenging when you have grown up in a particularly dysfunctional family and are now physically closer to them. A lot of unsuspected garbage gets in the way.

I have therefore come to the conclusion that families bring out the worst in us because we all know each others triggers. More importantly however, I know that the way we live now is a choice we consciously make. And that is what is so fabulous about life!

So what life lessons are you living now or are you still stuck deliberately living the limiting life you were programmed for in childhood?

Since I haven't seen most of my family members in more than ten years and quite deliberately so, here are some of the scummy items which floated to the surface together with my responses:

• My mother was so mean to me (I've been there so suck it up and move on);
• Taking her anger out on me was so wrong (me too, see above);
• Everybody hated me (that's a perception linked to child-like emotions; if you're still there it's time to move on);
• I was so hurt (join the club but if you're attending pity parties, it's time to say goodbye and leave);
• I was her whipping boy for whatever ailed her (everything that happened to us and me in particular made me the strong person I am today);
• She never showed me any love or affection (probably because she never received any);
• They (the family) expect me to be the same and silently demand that I return to how they thought I was (when you have not learned any of life's lessons you are doomed to repeat  the experiences until you understand that life means change. nothing stays the same.);
• Why can't I be accepted for who I am now? (acceptance means change and when people constantly fight what is out of fear because that is what they have learned, they are also obliged to repudiate anything and anyone who represents it).

When we are at peace with ourselves and accepting of the lives we have led, we can reflect upon the bad times as well as the good and learn from what we have experienced. Until we come to terms with the fact that we are not the same people we once were, we can’t objectively delve into our individual histories.

Yet there is much we can discover in the annals of our lives, such as the root of our likes and dislikes and the cause of our fears. As we court tranquility within ourselves, we become less eager to react emotionally to the mistakes we have made and more apt to consider the practical applications of the memories we review in our reflections.

When your heart and mind are calm, you will have little difficulty gleaning the wisdom buried in your past. DailyOM

Life is meant to be lived in the NOW, not yesterday, not tomorrow - just right now. Are you there yet? It is a struggle for most of us at times so here's a wonderful thirty-day technique called One-Moment (minute) Meditations to help you stay right here.

Come share some of the life lessons learned that you are living today so that we can all grow together, individually.

Letting go is a beautiful beautiful thing and I wish it for all of you. Make a great day for yourself right now people. 

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Thought for Today: Don't Waste Time on Yesterday; Since Today is Almost Over, Start Tomorrow

It was not in my plan to post a Thought for Today, today but as life would have it - I was grouchy by 8h30 - I opened up Bob Proctor's Insight of the Day and read The Daffodil Principle. It swept away my grouchiness with its message and as it is new to me, I have to share it.

The message is don't waste time on yesterday, it is gone and since today is almost over, start tomorrow.

Enjoy et bon weekend to all.

The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come and see the daffodils before they are over."

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. Going and coming took most of a day - and I honestly did not have a free day until the following week.

"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call. Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove the length of Route 91, continued on I-215, and finally turned onto Route 18 and began to drive up the mountain highway.

The tops of the mountains were sheathed in clouds, and I had gone only a few miles when the road was completely covered with a wet, gray blanket of fog. I slowed to a crawl, my heart pounding. The road becomes narrow and winding toward the top of the mountain.

As I executed the hazardous turns at a snail's pace, I was praying to reach the turnoff at Blue Jay that would signify I had arrived. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn!

The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these darling children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears - and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car. The mechanic just called, and they've finished repairing the engine," she answered.

"How far will we have to drive?" I asked cautiously.

"Just a few blocks,"Carolyn said cheerfully.

So we buckled up the children and went out to my car. "I'll drive," Carolyn offered. "I'm used to this." We got into the car, and she began driving.

In a few minutes I was aware that we were back on the Rim-of-the-World Road heading over the top of the mountain.

"Where are we going?" I exclaimed, distressed to be back on the mountain road in the fog. "This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Carolyn, I said sternly, trying to sound as if I was still the mother and in charge of the situation, "please turn around. There is nothing in the world that I want to see enough to drive on this road in this weather."

"It's all right, Mother," She replied with a knowing grin. "I know what I'm doing. I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

And so my sweet, darling daughter who had never given me a minute of difficulty in her whole life was suddenly in charge - and she was kidnapping me! I couldn't believe it.

Like it or not, I was on the way to see some ridiculous daffodils - driving through the thick, gray silence of the mist-wrapped mountaintop at what I thought was risk to life and limb.

I muttered all the way. After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road that branched down into an oak-filled hollow on the side of the mountain. The fog had lifted a little, but the sky was lowering, gray and heavy with clouds.

We parked in a small parking lot adjoining a little stone church. From our vantage point at the top of the mountain we could see beyond us, in the mist, the crests of the San Bernardino range like the dark, humped backs of a herd of elephants. Far below us the fog-shrouded valleys, hills, and flatlands stretched away to the desert.

On the far side of the church I saw a pine-needle-covered path, with towering evergreens and manzanita bushes and an inconspicuous, lettered sign "Daffodil Garden."

We each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path as it wound through the trees. The mountain sloped away from the side of the path in irregular dips, folds, and valleys, like a deeply creased skirt.

Live oaks, mountain laurel, shrubs, and bushes clustered in the folds, and in the gray, drizzling air, the green foliage looked dark and monochromatic. I shivered.

Then we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight, unexpectedly and completely splendid.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes where it had run into every crevice and over every rise.

Even in the mist-filled air, the mountainside was radiant, clothed in massive drifts and waterfalls of daffodils.

The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow.

Each different-colored variety (I learned later that there were more than thirty-five varieties of daffodils in the vast display) was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

In the center of this incredible and dazzling display of gold, a great cascade of purple grape hyacinth flowed down like a waterfall of blossoms framed in its own rock-lined basin, weaving through the brilliant daffodils.

A charming path wound throughout the garden. There were several resting stations, paved with stone and furnished with Victorian wooden benches and great tubs of coral and carmine tulips.

As though this were not magnificent enough, Mother Nature had to add her own grace note - above the daffodils, a bevy of western bluebirds flitted and darted, flashing their brilliance.

These charming little birds are the color of sapphires with breasts of magenta red. As they dance in the air, their colors are truly like jewels above the blowing, glowing daffodils. The effect was spectacular.

It did not matter that the sun was not shining. The brilliance of the daffodils was like the glow of the brightest sunlit day. Words, wonderful as they are, simply cannot describe the incredible beauty of that flower-bedecked mountain top.

Five acres of flowers! (This too I discovered later when some of my questions were answered.)

"But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn. I was overflowing with gratitude that she brought me - even against my will. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

"Who?" I asked again, almost speechless with wonder, "And how, and why, and when?"

"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house, my mind buzzing with questions. On the patio we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman, two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was. The Daffodil Principle.

For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. One bulb at a time.

There was no other way to do it. One bulb at a time. No shortcuts - simply loving the slow process of planting. Loving the work as it unfolded.

Loving an achievement that grew so slowly and that bloomed for only three weeks of each year. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world.

This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principle of celebration: learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time - often just one baby-step at a time - learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time.

When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"Carolyn," I said that morning on the top of the mountain as we left the haven of daffodils, our minds and hearts still bathed and bemused by the splendors we had seen, "it's as though that remarkable woman has needle-pointed the earth! Decorated it.

Just think of it, she planted every single bulb for more than thirty years. One bulb at a time! And that's the only way this garden could be created.

Every individual bulb had to be planted. There was no way of short-circuiting that process. Five acres of blooms. That magnificent cascade of hyacinth! All, just one bulb at a time."

The thought of it filled my mind. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the implications of what I had seen.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My wise daughter put the car into gear and summed up the message of the day in her direct way.

"Start tomorrow," she said with the same knowing smile she had worn for most of the morning. Oh, profound wisdom!

It is pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use tomorrow?"

Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards

What does this story inspire in you? Are there things you've been wishing you could have done? What's stopping you from starting tomorrow? Let me know.

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Thought For Today: What You Seek Is Also Seeking You!

I just had the great idea to start a Thought For Today series when I happened to see a page in Bob Proctor's You Were Born Rich on becoming a money magnet; the message is what you seek is also seeking you.  A very appropriate topic to begin my new series.

As there is no such thing as a coincidence, my flipping open the book and falling on this particular page with the words was meant to remind me that "thoughts are things" (Napoleon Hill).

I was moping last night because I didn't receive a document which I thought I needed and I woke up feeling low this morning. If I want to avoid attracting what I do not want, I had better get my finger out and change my thoughts to attract what I do want.

Writings of this type help me a lot - and I thank the universal spirit for the nudge - and I sure hope it works for those of you out there who need a boost!

What you seek is also seeking you! I first heard these words from Margaret Lynch, a Success Coach and EFT Expert a year ago and I got it, finally, with Bob Proctor.

Sometimes I need a big nudge to put me back on course and remind myself that the ideas in my head did not come out of "nowhere"; neither are they random or by chance.

And if I feel so good about them, why not consciously nurture them and see where they take me by writing them down to make them concrete; by thinking them through as far as I am able; obsess on them and see what else comes up - no matter how "nuts" they may appear to be; and take whatever action I can.

It can't hurt to follow through and there is much to gain any way you look at it.

Bob Proctor says in The Law of Vibration and Attraction You Were Born Rich:

 

Attract what you need for the physical manifestation of your image.

If it is true that energy or Spirit is neither created nor destroyed and everything in it's original state is either energy or Spirit, it necessarily follows that everything you will ever want is already here.  It is simply a matter of choosing the thoughts which will put you into harmonious vibration with the good that you desire.

Everything you are seeking is seeking you in return.  Therefore, everything you want is already yours.  So you don't have to get anything; it is simply a matter of becoming more aware of what you already possess.

The moment you bring your life into harmony with the law, into harmony with the current of Divine Order, you will find that the "negative" will have "taken wings".  For its cause will have been removed and you will no longer attract what you don't want.

The secret to receiving, on the physical plane, the results you desire is always locked into the Law of Attracton.  -- end quote --

Do drop me a line and let me know how you stay focussed to enable what you seek to find you or as Napoleon Hill said in Think and Grow Rich let opportunity find you.


For a little more oomph on this topic, you can also read:

Rev Dr Fuller's  Become a Mental Magnet - stay in harmony with what feels right to you
Leo Foster's How to become a Money Magnet - a step-by-step guide of do's and don'ts (very good)
Aldian's How to Become a Powerful Magnet - focus on your core values
5 Ways You can Become a Money Magnet - identify your limiting beliefs about money

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How To Successfully MasterMind A Reading Group in 9 Steps

Here's my tip of the day from Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich; use the MasterMind Principle. In order to become successful in whatever you intend to achieve, you need to exchange ideas to expand your mind and increase your knowledge. No one knows it all and guess what, you don't need to. 

Whether a mastermind group is created to get a start-up off the ground, create a local reading group, or book club, start a mom's network based of some kine, launch a new product, create an advertising campaign, using the minds of people with similar interests is where it all happens.

You have an idea, let's say to start a reading group (I'm a bookworm so this works for me), here's how to successfully mastermind a reading group. And don't get caught up by the wording because it is really just a group of people helping each other by sharing their knowledge and at the same time, helping themselves.

 When one rises, we all rise.

1 - identify a maximum of ten people who are interested (according to Jack Canfield, more makes it unmanageable and everyone won't be able to have their say if the group is larger).

2 - the group has to be friendly and harmonious.

3 - set the duration for one hour maximum; this can be changed by consensus.

4 - every person present has an agreed amount of time to speak to avoid monopolising the floor. this means,

5 - the rules of conduct - which should be clear and straightforward - must be established conjointly by the group before it swings into action. Such as timely arrival, starting time, prior reading and analysis of the identified chapter before the meeting, and so on.

6 - meet at least once per week. Skype (for Windows, Mac, Linux) - which is free - can be used to connect with absent members.

7 - since it's a reading club, read one chapter of the selected book at each meeting. the discussion period follows the reading.

8 - the person reading should have a pleasant voice and be a good reader; in other words lively and entertaining, not montone.

9 - each member should take his or her own notes and ideas during the discussion for further expansion.

Follow this plan and every reader will gain not only a thorough understanding and appreciation of the book's contents, but also he or she will tap into new sources of knowledge they didn't know they had, and also acquire knowledge of priceless value from every other person present. So says Napoleon Hill.

This mastermind principle can be applied to any group of like-minded individuals whether it's to start a business, flesh out an idea, launch a product or simply meet once a week to discuss a book from Think and Grow Rich, A New Earth, to J R Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood, and so on.  

Success begins with an idea and this is the place to exchange and expand on ideas using the mastermind principle.

Happy reading!

Do share your thoughts with me about this post. Do you think you could make it work for you? What would you need to get started? Who could you contact? What ideas have you been nursing but never had the courage to get it off the ground because..? Let me know.

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The Law of Vibration and You: You Get What You Vibrate

The Law of Vibration is very specific, very clear and unequivocal - you get what you vibrate. And it takes precedence over the Law of Attraction, by far. Here are some thoughts on the Law of Vibration and you.

A comment on my blog by LizF gave me the idea for this post to share thoughts from the wise heads out there. Although LizF is referring to the Art of Allowing, it is all about vibration. 

When you become an "allower", your vibration changes and you start to attract more of what you want. She wrote:

Oh my! my money stories/beliefs are that there's never enough; money won't make me happy; I'll never make what I want to make; I don't deserve it.....there's definitely a theme of "not-deserving" and I blame myself for a lot of the debt I put myself in; however, I've accepted for what it is and it's been a lot easier to work through.  I guess my "aha" moment was learning how to allow it to come or The Art of Allowing. I'm still working on this because it's hard to allow myself to want money, abundance, wealth, whatever-you-call-it. However I'm feeling it emerge and it feels great!  It's a process.

Leaving your comfort zone of current patterns and behaviors is a courageous step toward self-growth. DailyOM

I'll Not Ask Others to Become Different for Me... Let your Vibrational Escrow percolate, and you do your best to give it your undivided attention so that you become a Vibrational Match to it. And then, when the Law of Attraction brings all of it together and brings you, because you're a match, together with it - then there aren't any bugs to work out.


Don't ask the person, or people, that helped you to define what you want to become what you want so that you can have what you want. (Oh, that was so good.) Instead, let them be the Step One part of it (the asking part). Use your willpower and your decision to focus upon what you want - and then the Universe will bring you what you want.   Abraham/Hicks

Use Abraham/Hicks' Focus Wheel to clarify your desires and make them real and get yourself out of the unnecessary hell you are creating for yourself.

This is a fun and accurate way to change your vibration and attract the abundance you desire into your life; by changing how you view your situation. It works!

Use it for every tricky situation in your life and watch magic happen. Following up on that you can also use affirmations to make you feel good to maintain a healthy, positive vibration. 

Ideas are the beginning points of all fortunes. Napoleon Hill

The mind is a powerful magnet and as such, it attracts whatever corresponds to its ruling state.  Expectation dictates what that ruling state will be and therefore governs what corresonds to the mind and is attracted into your life. Expectation can be either a blessing or a curse but either way it is certainly one of the most powerful unseen forces in your life. John Kanary

...Prosperity - properly understood - is simply the inward awareness of the opulence, wholeness and completeness that abounds within the spiritual realm.  In other words, it is impossible to feel poor when you are conscious of being enveloped in the protective care of a loving God, universal spirit, or whatever ele you may wish to call the spiritual-center of our universe.

Let me repeat - there never is and never has been any lack of supply other than that which we have created for ourselves because of our own limited awareness.

-- taken from "Expect An Abundance" in Bob Proctor's You Were Born Rich.

And what was your aha! moment when you realised that your negative feelings had taken over and were sinking you, and how did you save yourself? Do write and share what you know to be true.

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