FOOD FOR THOUGHT - The Joy of Being Happy is a Naturally Who We Are

Nothing more need be said about the folks at DailyOM except sign up to their newsletter and sup on their missives that really do nurture the mind, body and spirit. Here's one of their gems about happiness - everyday spirtuality - that's my food for thought for today.

Happiness is a gift you must unwrap each day.

 

The Joy of Being



Source: pinimg.com

You could be in high spirits and might wish to share your feelings of delight with others today. Relishing in the joy of being alive may be the reason for your carefree and happy mood. Perhaps you might simply stay present with your feelings today.

During the day you can notice where your sense of pleasure takes you. It may be the enjoyment of living in your body, the emotional sensations you feel, or the high you get from being with others. Try to remain present with whatever manifestation of your happiness arises.
When you are with other people you can remember these feelings and create the intention that they also share in the same joy. Not only may others be drawn to you but they may also be inspired to spread the mutual joyfulness you all feel to others.

Experiencing contentment in simply being alive is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. For so many of us, joy seems to be a guilty pleasure since we are often taught that happiness is something we get only if we work hard at it. Feeling happiness, however, is a natural part of who we are.

Savoring it makes us value it all the more. When we learn to accept this, it becomes natural to want to share it, for being happy with ourselves allows us to reach out to others with an open heart more easily. By delighting in who you are today, you will foster joy not only in yourself but in your community as well.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT - What is The Golden Rule?

Call to ACTION Action - Assignment #33:
from Napoleon Hill Yesterday and Today, Issue 343

This week’s assignment comes to you from the desk of Napoleon Hill. It is a great fit with the readings for this week, and good philosophical food for thought. Read on and then journal your responses, ideas, thoughts as you consider what Dr. Hill has to say to each of us below.

A suggestion:
Look around in your community and find some man who you know lives for the purpose of accumulating money. Find some man—and alas, you can find such men—for whom any amount of money is too little and no amount is too much.

He will almost certainly be a man who has little conscience about how he acquires his money, for conscience can be a hindrance when your horizon is nothing but a line of empty money bags to be filled.

Observe this man. Look for warmth in his soul; you will not find it, unless the subject of discussion is money. Watch for a warm, human welcome in his smile; you will not see it—he smiles like a shark. Notice how little he displays an enjoyment of life.

Oh, he may go through various expensive motions of enjoyment, but that is something else again. In the humane sense of the word, such a man is not really human. He is an automaton—a money-making machine. Yet many will envy that mechanical man. They will point to what they call his success.

Can there be success without happiness? Any really human person knows the two must go together as partners in a worthwhile life.

No man who thinks that happiness lies in having too much ever will be happy. No man can be truly happy until he translates the words of the Golden Rule into deeds, and shares happiness with others.

Moreover, the Golden Rule was not meant to be enforced like taxes. The sharing of happiness brings happiness when the sharing is voluntary, with no other object than to give. Source: Grow Rich! With Peace of Mind. Ballantine Books. 1996. Pg. 186.

WHAT IS THE GOLDEN RULE---REALLY?
by Napoleon Hill

WE SHOULD NOT content ourselves with the merest crumbs from life’s table, and we should not attempt to grab too much.

THE GOLDEN RULE often seems to act as a great leveler in assuring that this shall be so. It creates an ever-present spirit of kindly consideration for the needs and rights of others, so that without thought of gain (which so often is twisted by small minds into grabbing) the mind infused with the Golden Rule acquires a sense of what constitutes its own true ability to give.

GIVING BEGETS receiving: there is a to-and-fro passage of wealth which may not reflect itself in a swollen bank account, but does reflect itself in a mind which has known such wealth. In this lies happiness, peace and health which a man merely rich in money may never know.

Source: Grow Rich! With Peace of Mind. Ballantine Books. 1996. Pgs. 185 – 186 .

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Be Happy and Live Now!

Happy Flower by Cali2Okie (April)BBe happy may sound simplistic or naive to some but you know what, it is also an excellent exhortation – a fabulous way to be.

I think of it as satisfaction with what the good that you experience right now – utopia does not exist and is unrealistic - that's a cop out.

Emulate the children – live now and enjoy – that is what happiness is all about.

It is easy to be happy when we begin to look, each day, for what is different in our environment. It opens a new world of wonder when we realise that beauty and newness has been sitting right under our noses all this time.

These types of discoveries will make you feel great. They will liven you up. They did me and they distance you from your seemingly overwhelming problems. When you put emotional distance between yourself and your current challenges, you gain a better perspective on the situation.

And that is what being happy or appreciative does when you continue to see the "newness" in your current environment.

Here's what Abraham has to say about our relationships and the fact that we expect others to make us happy which is impossible. We all must take responsibility for our selves and our actions.

After all, living now is all we have. The past is gone except in our heads and we can fix that if we really wanted to and the future isn't here yet so even if we wait for it, it will still be now. So, be happy now!

The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy. If it is your dominant intent to hold yourself in vibrational harmony with who you really are, you could never offer any action that would cause anybody else to be unhappy.

~Abraham

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3 Tips To Reawaken Within You The Knowledge of Your Purpose and Your Own Personal Power

Image by catlovers via Flickr 1– When you acknowledge what you do not want, and then ask yourself, "What is it that I do want?" you begin a gradual shift into the telling of your new story and into a much-improved point of attraction.

You get the essence of what you think about - whether you want it or not - because Law of Attraction is unerringly consistent - therefore, you are never only telling the story of "how it is now." You are also telling the future experience that you are creating right now.

2– When you finally get it that the Universe is only answering your vibration, then you understand that if you are victim to anything, it's only your haphazard offering of vibration.

The real desire that is being born within you is, "I want to vibrate on purpose. I want to set my Tone. I want to conclude and decide and offer it consistently and then watch the results of it." You cannot get it done, ever, and you cannot get it wrong. So you might as well relax and start having fun with this. 

3– The Eternal Laws of the Universe steadily hold the promise of expansion and joy. Understanding the Laws will reawaken within you the knowledge of your purpose and your own personal power as you remember how to access the power of the Universe that creates worlds.

If this time-space reality has within it the ability to inspire a desire within you, it is absolute that this time-space reality has the ability to yield you a full and satisfying manifestation of that same desire. It is Law.

~Abraham

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THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Using Them As Your Excuse To Not Feel Good

Happy flowers by rkrichardson

Tell everyone you know: "My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook." And then demonstrate it.

Be happy, no matter what they're doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel -- and then, you'll love them all.

Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good. ~Abraham

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THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Find A Way To Be Happy Now

         Happy flower by Jomind 

You're always on your way somewhere. The key is: find a way to be happy wherever you now are on your way to where you really want to be. (We're speaking of the state of being you want.)

It does not matter where you are; where you are is shifting constantly - but you must turn your attention to where you want to go. And that's the difference between making the best of something and making the worst of something.
—Abraham-Hicks

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Participate In Activities You Enjoy

Image by VSELLIS

We discover that our individual limitations reach far beyond the boundaries we had previously assigned to ourselves when we immerse ourselves vigorously in the activities that energize and excite us. 

It is when we participate in pursuits we enjoy that we are most willing to extend ourselves physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Because we have little fear of failure—as we recognize that mistakes and mishaps are natural aspects of individual growth—we dedicate our bodies, minds, and souls to the challenges before us. 

We feel good knowing that we are reaching past the borders of our comfort zones with some degree of success, and are thus encouraged to continue our explorations. 

You will feel strong and accomplished today as you push yourself past the arbitrary limits that once held sway over your conduct. —DailyOM

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54 Lessons I Learned in 2010

Image by Thai Jasmine (Take good care :-))

The lessons I learned in 2010 have completely changed who I thought I was.

I did not plan to write this; they resulted from Closing the final chapter of my 9-year odyssey, my 2010 story — also unplanned. 

It sort of created itself so I decided to share it separately.  

The most significant discovery is that I hold no animosity toward any of my relatives — coming in a later post — in fact, they have collectively helped me to 1) move on, and 2) uncover my love of Self which I had been craving (unbeknownst to me). 

Self-respect was the biggest lesson i.e. pay attention to my needs and having compassion for myself — that leads to joy and liberation, and it is contagious! 

If you want to be loved, you have to be worth loving. ~Casanova

Going with the flow was the most difficult; it felt too painful. 

I realised way down the line that my natural instinct to resist was the problem. I cannot say that I have mastered it but at least I am more aware of it now. 

A quiet, growing feeling (awareness?) makes me feel much more grounded, and that is all to the good.

The 54 lessons I learned in 2010:

01 - Again, that people change but not always in expected or pleasant ways.

Image by Ryan Greenberg 02 - No matter how distasteful a situation is, choose it because it is happening now. Acceptance opens the door to opportunity.

03 - Seeing the real cause of someone's problem does not make communicating any easier.

04 - Tell the Universe, Source, God, exactly what you want in detail; do not generalise. I demanded a brand new life in 2010 and I got it!

05 - Allowing money to define who you are  slowly and inexorably destroys you.

06 - Stop judging others; it is an ego trip. Everyone has their role to play in this game called life and I am part of it.

07 - The "I AM" that I express now will never be accepted by my relatives and I accept that. 

08 - We are not in complete control of our lives; the soul has its own goals. 

09 - Closure is good for everyone even if only one person does it.

10 - Unexpectedly positive results come from small actions.

Image by Parvin ♣( OFF for a while ) 11 - Lay the past on the altar of forgiveness and move on.
  
12 - Conscious breathing dissipates tension like magic!

13 - A battered and trampled heart will not kill you.

14 - Resentment hurts me and everyone else.

15 - I will never pass this way again.

16 - Loving someone is the most liberating feeling there is.

17 - It is easy to let go of the one you love when you want what is best for them.

18 - When you love the Presence in someone that is true love.

19 - Disagreements are never really about me or you but how it impacts the world.

20 - We lie to ourselves all the time. A very astute person said "You are never angry for the reason you think". 

 

In my case, my resentment and hurt, after 24 years abroad stemmed from feeling abandoned by my relatives like the ubiquitous stray dogs often seen around the country, while living in the "bosom of family".   

Image by Thai Jasmine (Take good care :-)) I wished that someone would show caring for me by giving me a "meal" the way strangers do for these innocent, abandoned animals.

21 - People cannot give what they never received.

22 - It is churlish to withhold caring just because others do.

23 - Compassion changes the way you see the world around you; it makes you "softer" and more tolerant.

24 - Deal with an issue immediately if it bothers you, thereby forestalling resentment.  If you don't, drop it (no excuses)! But always ask yourself first "is this really important"?

25 - Connecting with my Self is an exquisite feeling which defies description; sex be damned (temporarily of course).

26 - We women translate feeling good (oneness with Self) into sexual energy because we want to share it. 

27 - When you help someone, you help yourself (but let's not be suckers here, okay).

28 - Have no regrets – that is for wimps – it means you learned nothing!

29 - You can never go back (and why would you want to).

30 - What others think of you is irrelevant — move on!

31 - Effortless effort makes everything seem easy. 

32 - Authenticity is the only option.

Image by Thai Jasmine (Take good care :-)) 33 - Families teach you everything you want to avoid as an adult if you intend to live life on your own terms.

34 - Making concessions contrary to your character undermines your integrity.

35 - Fulfilling another's selfish demands for peace sake allows them to rip your heart out.

36 - Families are the perfect training ground for the knocks that await you in life.


37 - Appreciation and love for Self is essential for Well-Being.
 
38 - Never be sorry for anything — say "I apologise" instead.

39 - Every new day presents a clean slate for starting over.

40 - Nobody is better than me; not even on my worst day!



41 - Performing any task under duress is self-destructive.

42 - Gratitude plugs you into what really matters.
 
43 - Blaming someone means you are lying.
 
44 - I have paid my dues, with interest.
 
45 - Speaking your truth sets you free.
 
Image by Thai Jasmine (Take good care :-)) 46 - Love is a magical balm for whatever ails the spirit. No one can ever take it away.

47 - Waiting sucks — Being is better. 

48 - Having no choice is a choice.

49 - I have nothing to prove.
 
50 - It hurts to let go.
 
51 - Tears cleanse.
 
52 - Growth hurts.
 
53 - Love heals.

54 - I matter.

What about you, what insights have you gained in 2010? What is your biggest lesson learned in 2010?

I welcome your comments.

 

You are not responsible for the programming you picked up in childhood.  However, as an adult, you are one hundred percent responsible for fixing it.  ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

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A Delicious Co-creative Dance of Deliberate Creation

Image via WikipediaThe perfect contrast of your time-space reality will continue to stimulate your thirst while also holding the promise to fulfill every desire that has been inspired.  

And so, whether you are focused upon contrast in this moment—and so, are in the process of asking for more—or whether you are focused on your breathing in this moment and are allowing what you have asked for, it is all part of the process, and it is all on your path.

Your repeated listening to our meditation recording will allow any problems to move into the background, and the solutions to move into the foreground.

Over time, your appreciation for the question will become equivalent to your appreciation for the answer, and your appreciation for the problem will become equivalent to your appreciation for the solution. 

And in your newfound ease with what-is, you will find yourself in the state of allowing what you truly desire. And then, all manner of cooperative components will reveal themselves to you in a delicious co-creative dance of Deliberate Creation.
–Abraham 

This is 21 of 32 practical expanded quotes excerpted from Abraham’s new Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide that will be available everywhere on Nov. 15, 2010.

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Be Authentic, Accept 100 Percent Responsibility for your Well-Being, and Be The Change

 Be Authentic, be yourself no matter what, accept 100 percent responsibility for your well-being, and be the change YOU want to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi).

Ed and Deb Shapiro wrote a book by the same name Be The Change: How Meditation Can Transform Your Life. In one word... beautiful.

Bob Proctor's Insight of the day Friday story eloquently illustrates this. Listen well, watch your thoughts, guard your tongue and observe your actions. This way you will know all you need to know about YOU. Read on!

A Touch of Lemon

A Troubled Freshman

When I met Mr. Jim Lemon, I was a sixteen-year-old freshman at Houston's Jackson Junior High and the chances of my finishing high school were slim. I was a troubled teenager with an attitude, living in a neighborhood that fostered troubled teenagers.

Mr Lemon

Mr. Lemon taught American history and it was clear from the first day that his classroom was not going to be disrupted. It was apparent very quickly that Mr. Lemon was quite different from the other teachers I had known. Not only was he a disciplinarian, but also he was a great teacher. He would never settle for my usual standard of classroom work. Mr. Lemon pushed and prodded and never tolerated the mediocrity that had become my standard.

Report Cards

On the occasion of our first semester report cards, Mr. Lemon called me aside and asked how it was possible that I was a B student in his class and a D and F student in the rest of my classes.

I was ready for that question. I passionately told him about my divorced parents, the local gangs, the drugs, the fights, and the police - all the evils that I had been subjected to. 

Accept Personal Responsibility

Mr. Lemon listened patiently and when I was through he responded, "There's a problem with your list Mr. Phillips, you are not on it."

Then Mr. Lemon explained that the only person responsible for my situation was me. And the only person with the potential to change my situation was me, and that when I personally accepted that responsibility I could make a significant change in my life. 

He convinced me that I was failing not because I was a failure, but because I was not accepting the responsibility for my results in those other classes. Mr. Lemon was the first teacher I had who made me believe in myself. He inspired me to become a better student and he changed my life.

Lessons from Mr. Lemon

Ten years later, I spoke to him again. I was preparing to graduate from Chaminade University in Honolulu.

It had taken weeks of telephone calls to find him but I knew what I had to say. 

When I finally did get Mr. Lemon on the telephone, I explained what his brutal honesty had meant to me, how I finally graduated from high school, and how I was a proud staff sergeant in the Army. 

I explained how I had married the most beautiful and wonderful woman of my dreams and how we had a beautiful a daughter.

Most of all I wanted him to know that I was about to graduate magna cum laude after going to school for four hours a night, four nights a week for three years. I wanted him to know that I could never have done any of these things if he had not been a part of my life.

Graduating with Mr. Lemon

Finally, I told him that I had been saving money for two years so that I could invite him and his wife to come to Hawaii at my expense to be part of my graduation. I'll never forget his response. Mr. Lemon said, "Who is this again?"

Lessons Learned

I was just one of hundreds of students whose life he changed and he seemed genuinely surprised of his impact.

Perhaps none of us realize the impact that we have on other people nor do other people have any idea how much of an impact they have on us. 

How much, then, should we be aware of our influence on others to make sure that it is for the best? And how much more should we tell those who have had a positive impact on our lives?

Rick Phillips

Rick Phillips is a motivational speaker and trainer. You can visit his website at: www.rickphillips.com or feel free to email your comments to pssd@earthlink.net

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Food for Thought: Dishonesty, Insecurity and Lesson Learned

Image via Wikipedia

Food for thought today is about dishonesty, insecurity and lessons learned.

When you lie, cheat, steal or take advantage of people in any way, for any reason, you are dishonest. That's obvious.

When you pretend, boast about what you have, it is tacky and irritating. In contrast, when you boast about what you don't have and pretend about everything else, you are lying.

The thing is though. many of us do this everyday in a myriad of ways.
That's being small, people; but what happens though when you find yourself doing the same shite, like me? I can't very well dismiss myself, can I!

Self-Delusion

For three weeks I was dishonest in exactly the same way, boasting and dropping names and such to "impress" because... I was feeling very insecure.

I so dislike insecure people, don't you. They piss us off because they reflect a part of you (and me) which we recognise intimately and it makes us uncomfortable, hence our negative reaction. 

I grew up in the world of self-delusion and lived there for decades as an adult, and for those few short weeks it felt terrible to be back there disliking my self all over again.

We all want to believe that we are better than "them" but we are not. Reality only comes home to roost when we work our thing out. It is time to decide with Judith Rich Are you progressing or staying stuck?

Insecure people

Insecure people are unhappy people, uncomfortable in their skin, angry at the world in general because they are dissatisfied with the way their life is going, or not.

We spread our discontent around – no one must be happy when we are not – instead of buckling down and taking charge of the situation which is causing distress; thereby controlling our emotions at the same time. Not easy but what is.

The truth is that we are really angry with ourselves because we believe we are not receiving our "just due" in our dysfunctional life. We allow the situation to control us instead of taking charge.

The lies

When I found myself in this angry place I was unfocussed at work. I kept trying to justify my defensive attitude by telling myself that I did not need care about results or the hefty incentive bonus, I just wanted it.

I was lying of course and I was trying to make myself feel better. Note to self: lies to self do not work!

I have done it often enough to know.

Not only that, I like my job because communicating turns me on and tunes me in to people, and I like making people feel good in whatever way I can.

The root of the problem

My biggest failing is that I give up too easily. I thought it had disappeared; another lie to self. In reality, my pain body was just waiting for the right button to be pushed to raise its ugly head.

Bottom line: if you do not assiduously work on yourself nothing improves.
I failed my daily target three days in a row and that depressed me because I was taught that I must never fail so by the time Friday came around, I was convinced that I was a complete failure.

When a thought like that surfaces it is difficult to root it out.

The real issue

This debilitating habit developed during my childhood years where if I didn't perform on demand, doing what in hindsight was impossible for an adult much less a child, I was brutally beaten and severely criticised.

Interestingly enough, I had to deal with the perpetrator of those crimes in the week preceding my first non-performing week. And this time I had to put the vicious, mean-spirited actions to bed once and for all but it hurt me more than it did her.

That is where it all began and my three weeks of emotional disarray were the fallout. Tapping your inner strength in troubling times is essential to moving ahead and leaving the past behind.

Contamination

I am a very gentle creature with an extremely tough exterior and I will only allow certain people in. Be real with me and you will have my undivided attention.

Abrasive and gratuitous violence in any form is unacceptable.

So it is abnormal for me to act harshly with anyone (passed that stage in my younger days) and to have to "verbally" hold your birth mother at bay like a wild animal after a 24-year absence is difficult.

But I refused to allow her viciousness, pettiness and just plain meanness to spread. Despite my best intentions however, it contaminated me and I allowed it affect my job performance.

Lesson for the day

And therein lies the lesson for the day people from a monk I believe – when you are angry it is never for the reason you think.

It is through the process of writing this post that I was able to identify the real problem and work through the unreasonably angry, unfocussed and insecure feelings that I lived through.

I also avoided daily meditation. Eckhart Tolle's Living in presence with your pain body describes my process so well; the bad old times are so seductive because it is all the ego knows and loves until we exorcise the beast by embracing love for one's self.

The truth – I felt so hurt and was devastated by the attacks that I used anger to cover it all up and so, I could not find my bearings. Now, I am licking my wounds.

The decision

I deliberately held off verbalising the decision I made a few months ago and that hesitation is what left me open and vulnerable to attack.

I understand now that this was one of the reasons for my forced return here - unbeknowst to me of course - to see and experience these family members as an adult with the advantage of 24 years distance and growth; to understand, and accept them as they are, and to cut the ties that no longer bind.

I said the fateful words very quietly in another context without conscious thought  -  When I leave here I am not coming back - the silence as they fell was tangible. What a release that was!

"Everyone" heard the portent in those flat words - they went straight to the ether and so it shall be.

The release and the understanding

The incredible disrespect I have been subjected to from a child and throughout my adult years and the incredible disdain for my emotional and physical well-being from then till now is scarily impressive.

If I had an enemy, I would not wish that on him or her. It is devastatingly belittling.

I truly do not know how I survived before in this household so devoid of loving care because nothing has changed! But I understand why I "grew up" so fast as well.

Though it hurts to be treated this way, I still feel compassion a lot of the time for this mean-spiritied, unhappy 72-year old woman who has never accepted responsibility for anything in her life.

With hand on my heart, I repeat the Majestic cleansing and healing with Ho'oponopono:

I'm sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

Lessons learned

I hope this lesson I learned which is a major turning point for me helps someone else on their journey of becoming. That is my reason for sharing it:
And remember:

WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY, 
IT IS NEVER FOR THE REASON YOU THINK!

I am very grateful to my Higher Self for helping me expose this wound and expunge the pus that was causing me so much pain. I am very grateful indeed to make it here.

It is wonderful to be alive people, thrive thrive thrive!

 

Related articles

• Honesty, The Only Worthwhile Virtue (socyberty.com)
• Mike Robbins: The Power of Empathy (huffingtonpost.com)
• Learning Life's Lessons (everydaygyaan.com)

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The Universe is Limitless

Image via Wikipedia

Good news time again and I want to remind you all that the Universe truly is limitless, you know and we forget this far too often. 

There really is no thing that you cannot be, do or have. 

Absorb Desiderata from one of my previous posts  – The universe is a place of bountiful supply.

It encompasses everything of which you need to be reminded because you are a child of the universe; unique in all your magnificent glory.

You Are A Child of The Universe

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater

and lesser persons than yourself.

Image by NASA Goddard Photo and Video

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble,

it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism. 

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit

to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

Image by NASA Goddard Photo and 

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

 And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

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Do You Have To Be Nuts To Be Happy?

Image by Denis Collette...!!! via Flickr

More good news with a different slant and I can't keep it till next weekend so... I'm continuing the happiness trend from my last post And Happiness Is... 

Here's more from Tony Deyal's superbly funny article. He says that since he no longer contributes to the GDP (ex-journalist), as a humorist he is contributing to the GNH (gross national happiness).

GNH is a termed coined in Bhutan and I quote...GNH goes beyond GDP and is based on the view that beneficial development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. 

The four pillars of GNH are the promotion of sustainable development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment, and establishment of good governance. end quote

One person's happiness is another person's pain is how the stories go:

A Cat in 7th Heaven

Image by ~FreeBirD®~ via FlickrA cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. 

The cat thought for a minute and then said, All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.  

God said, Say no more. Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. 

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that he made to the cat. 

The mice said, Well, we have had to run all our lives from dogs, cats and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we won't have to run again.  

God answered, It is done. All the mice had little beautiful roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy? 

The cat replied, Oh, it is wonderful. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an Iranian Define True Happiness

Image by Swamibu via FlickrThe Englishman said, True happiness, my friends, is rising early on a frosty autumn morning, getting on top of a good horse, and galloping off behind the hounds in pursuit of the fox.

A hard ride over fields and fences and rivulets until the fox is brought down. A ride back with the ears and the tail and then sitting before a roaring fire with a glass of good port. Ah, that is true happiness.

The Frenchman said,  That is not true happiness. That is merely animal pleasure. True happiness is meeting with the love of your life, having an intimate meal in a top-notch restauran with champagne, and then retiring to a wonderful hotel room where you can make frantic and impassioned love all night long. Ah, that is true happiness.

The Iranian said, That is not true happiness. That is merely a good time. True happiness comes when you are sitting in your apartment after a hard day, reading an underground newspaper that has been smuggled to you and checking the Internet for news about the dissidents and where the next protest against President Ahmadinejad will be held. 

Then there comes a knock at the door. Three agents from the Secret Service, the Mukhabarat, come storming in and ask Ardashir Khayyam? and you say, He lives in the apartment upstairs. Ah, that is true happiness.

 

The Shirt of a Happy Man

A king had fallen into a deep depression and could not be roused from his melancholy. His chancellor tried all kinds of remedies including wine, women and song. Nothing worked. 

Image by Getty Images via @daylifeFinally, a wise man from the east, after consulting the ancient texts and looking at the astrological charts, decreed that the only solution would be for the King to wear the shirt of a happy man.

The king's servants searched far and wide and, according to a poem by John Hay, they finally found a beggar who was whistling, singing and rolling in the grass with gaiety. This is our man, the courier said. Our luck has led us aright.

I will give you a hundred ducats, friend, for the loan of your shirt tonight. The merry blackguard lay back on the grass and laughed till his face was black. I would do it, God wot, and he roared with the fun.

But I haven't a shirt to my back.

And there ends Tony Deyal's Happiness Is. 

So, do you have to be nuts to be happy? YES, absolutely! And even that is subjective. However, you are going against the accepted version of so-called reality, so keep it between you and the door post. 

Be you. Be authentic in all you say and do and in how you live. That is your route to real happiness and the drama it brings. 

And what is YOUR version of true happiness, Dear Reader? Do comment and let me know.

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Getting Old Is A Bitch When You Reap What You Sow

I recently witnessed an incredible scene of cruelty and utter disdain between a mother and her child which brought to mind the old adage "you reap what you sow" and in this case, getting old is really a bitch!

Martyrdom is the mother's stock in trade and has been adopted by her daughter as well but that doesn't make the scene right, does it. It went like this:

No more painkillers

The elder is in her seventies and recently had a knee replaced. There are painkillers, anti-inflammatory and antibiotics which she has to take at regular intervals to avoid the excruciating pain.

Her pain medication ran out in the night and she only revealed this the next day. She also did not tell anyone that she was on her last packet of medication which is part of her martyrdom syndrome.

Since I was the first person awake in the house, I checked on her and heard
the story about the painkillers. In the interim since there was nothing I could do about her discomfort, I made her as comfortable as possible, gave her breakfast and went about my business after telling her to inform her caretaker as soon as she came downstairs.

Perhaps a solution

I returned four hours later to discover that her prescription had not been refilled and she was still in pain - the pharmacy is two minutes away by car and ten minutes each way on foot. The woman's daughter - self-identified caretaker - went about her daily chores and left her parent grimacing on her bed. 

When I bluntly asked why, she as usual, stoutly defended her obese and wealthy daughter - saying "she told her that she may have some of the same medication "somewhere" upstairs and will look for it".

By this time the woman had been in constant pain for approximately eight hours. She herself is also obese so it was like double jeopardy for her to move between her bathroom and the bed with her walker.

Medication found

When the woman's daughter noticed my presence, she promptly disappeared. It seems she had gone to her bedroom to finally search for those famous painkillers she wasn't sure she had but which she subsequently produced in a matter of minutes; then disappeared again with a huge, long-suffering sigh like what a chore.

Lessons learned

People really do reap what they sow and it is amazing to see it in action this way. This woman was a terrible mother: disinterested, cruel, selfish, vindictive, inflexible, manipulative, lazy, careless of her children's well-being; one of her sons was repeatedly raped by one of her friends before he was ten and she blamed her son.

She was physically abusive to all of her children, particularly the eldest, and she is well-liked in her community because she does a lot for them. It also does not surprise me that she had to have a knee replaced! There's a tale there as well!

From observation, I realise that the daughter is getting her revenge because she is now the "mother" and main provider and her word is law.

She demonstrates the same vindictiveness, pettiness, and selfishness on a regular basis and she is violently supported by her "mammie" in whatever she says and does.  What goes around, comes around. It is scarily fascinating! That is the unhealthy co-dependency which they both seem to need. That is my mother and sister!

When you reap what you sow

You will never be in the know

You will suffer

Pain, degradation and deprivation

Humiliation and lack of care 

Secret incomprehension

Inner anger and heartfelt sorrow

And still not be in the know

That's because you're reaping what you sow'd

When you reap what you sow

Frustration, guilt and sorrow

Is what you owe

It brings you down low

Self-justification and defensiveness

A mortal cocktail mix

Don't be astounded

To feel sick and wounded

Recuperation and rehabilitation slow

When you reap what you sow.

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