Getting Old Is A Bitch When You Reap What You Sow

I recently witnessed an incredible scene of cruelty and utter disdain between a mother and her child which brought to mind the old adage "you reap what you sow" and in this case, getting old is really a bitch!

Martyrdom is the mother's stock in trade and has been adopted by her daughter as well but that doesn't make the scene right, does it. It went like this:

No more painkillers

The elder is in her seventies and recently had a knee replaced. There are painkillers, anti-inflammatory and antibiotics which she has to take at regular intervals to avoid the excruciating pain.

Her pain medication ran out in the night and she only revealed this the next day. She also did not tell anyone that she was on her last packet of medication which is part of her martyrdom syndrome.

Since I was the first person awake in the house, I checked on her and heard
the story about the painkillers. In the interim since there was nothing I could do about her discomfort, I made her as comfortable as possible, gave her breakfast and went about my business after telling her to inform her caretaker as soon as she came downstairs.

Perhaps a solution

I returned four hours later to discover that her prescription had not been refilled and she was still in pain - the pharmacy is two minutes away by car and ten minutes each way on foot. The woman's daughter - self-identified caretaker - went about her daily chores and left her parent grimacing on her bed. 

When I bluntly asked why, she as usual, stoutly defended her obese and wealthy daughter - saying "she told her that she may have some of the same medication "somewhere" upstairs and will look for it".

By this time the woman had been in constant pain for approximately eight hours. She herself is also obese so it was like double jeopardy for her to move between her bathroom and the bed with her walker.

Medication found

When the woman's daughter noticed my presence, she promptly disappeared. It seems she had gone to her bedroom to finally search for those famous painkillers she wasn't sure she had but which she subsequently produced in a matter of minutes; then disappeared again with a huge, long-suffering sigh like what a chore.

Lessons learned

People really do reap what they sow and it is amazing to see it in action this way. This woman was a terrible mother: disinterested, cruel, selfish, vindictive, inflexible, manipulative, lazy, careless of her children's well-being; one of her sons was repeatedly raped by one of her friends before he was ten and she blamed her son.

She was physically abusive to all of her children, particularly the eldest, and she is well-liked in her community because she does a lot for them. It also does not surprise me that she had to have a knee replaced! There's a tale there as well!

From observation, I realise that the daughter is getting her revenge because she is now the "mother" and main provider and her word is law.

She demonstrates the same vindictiveness, pettiness, and selfishness on a regular basis and she is violently supported by her "mammie" in whatever she says and does.  What goes around, comes around. It is scarily fascinating! That is the unhealthy co-dependency which they both seem to need. That is my mother and sister!

When you reap what you sow

You will never be in the know

You will suffer

Pain, degradation and deprivation

Humiliation and lack of care 

Secret incomprehension

Inner anger and heartfelt sorrow

And still not be in the know

That's because you're reaping what you sow'd

When you reap what you sow

Frustration, guilt and sorrow

Is what you owe

It brings you down low

Self-justification and defensiveness

A mortal cocktail mix

Don't be astounded

To feel sick and wounded

Recuperation and rehabilitation slow

When you reap what you sow.